Update

what is happening now. . .

The Worst Barbie Commercial Ever!!!

OMG. . .that is just funny!

YO! GABBA GABBA

oh my ga!

Update...

Well, it has been a bit since I have updated this blog so here goes. . .here is whats going on in my life. . .in no particular order. . . . .

• Lee Taylor died this past week after a LONG battle with the same cancer my mother died from 6 months ago, I attended his memorial last night
• I started a new job with my youngest 2 kids school
• This past Sunday we hosted a pool party for all 5 of my kids friends and families at our local pool. Lots of food and CAKE and then like a TOTAL IDIOT, I let 6 EXTRA children sleep over at my house! They stayed up past 4 am, I had to be up for work at 6 am.
• The lifeguards at the pool party saw lightening. . .so they removed everyone for the last hour of the rented time. So we were still there eating and talking but not swimming and since we got kicked out because of weather I get half of my money back! SWEET!
• I have been running around trying to price things, solicit donations and generally plan a lot of things for Back to School night and school in general
• My FIL fell the other evening and has been in the hospital . . .they believe he has cancer of the upper spine. He will be 85 next month
• I found out one of my duties at the school, in addition to watching over recess and lunch is the change the sign out in front of the school. (IT IS REALLY REALLY HOT here. . .so I created a paper template and I do most of the work INSIDE where the AC is, then spend about 5 minutes putting up BOTH sides when I am outside. . .Work smarter. . .not harder I say. . .LOL)
• Who knew getting hired at a school meant so much paper work. . .background checks, finger prints. . .but , oddly enough I never had to pee in a cup. . .
• I kicked my kids off of my computer. . .they kept infecting it with spy wear! Now they have to use our "old" ones . . .poor babies. . .NOT!
• I just finished cleaning up my room somewhat. . .now the door will stay locked so the kids cant make a mess of it!
• For the sleep over Sunday I dragged a king size mattress up the stairs with a little help from my son and his friend
• Our basement and garage and some of my FIL's bathroom leaked. . .argh! But our insurance responded quickly!
• I got my second of 5 shots in my knee for OA. . .OUCH! It only lasts about 5 to 10 seconds. . .but it feels like he hits the bone. . .yikes!
• So much more. . .but I am tired. . .and I have another meeting tomorrow and hopefully my FIL will come home tomorrow too. . .LOTS to do still. . .

You know your a parents when. . .

You go to pour yourself a bowl of cereal (because it is the ONLY sweet thing left in the house. . .) and you find that someone has taken all of the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box! But you find that there are no more unopened boxes so you pour your bowl and grab the milk. . .there is enough left for a spoonful maybe! Welcome to parenthood. . . Maybe I should skip the snack and log onto my computer. . .But wait. . .my almost 14 year old daughter is on my computer because the other 3 computers we have in the house. . .(in her words) SUCK! My younger two boys are still finding excuses to be out of bed, even though I put them to bed over an hour and a half ago. One wanted help lacing his new Chuck Taylors (thanks to TAX FREE weekend and an insurance check. . .) while the other complained of bleeding. (Nevermind the fact that he is squeezing an old cut to make it bleed. . .)AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, parenthood! Why did I want to do this again? I know I complain a lot, but it is not all bad. I just can't seem to think of anything good right now! I guess I am not in the right frame of mind. Too much to do before school starts, and being the PTA president I am responsible for a lot of it. Like making a bulletin board for the front hallway. Does not sound too bad, right? well, I have to do that as well as getting kids ready, going to orientation for the job at the school that I accepted (yippee!!!!!), writing the newsletter, planning the first PTA meeting, writing the newsletter, getting ready for Back to school night, and so much more I can't even remember. . .and all I want to do is go to bed with my husband. . .if only those dang kids would go to sleep already!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

WOW, WOW, WOW!

America's Got Talent (Chicago) - Cas Haley

Re-post. . .it disappeared. . .

NEW America's Got Talent © Veniamin's Eyes AGT tape Audition

OMG. . .this is just too weird!

America's Got Talent (Chicago) - Cas Haley

This guy rocks! He is awsome!

America's Got Talent (Chicago) - Boy Shakira

WTF!!!

AWESOME SITE

This website was set up by someone to update Lee's friends and church family about his progress with Lung/Brain cancer. It is hard to see him and not think of my mom. Not just because of the same nasty evil cancer that they have in common, but also the way they continue to count it all joy. Their strength is a testament to their faith. . .I only hope I can live as they have.

Well, 2 of my kiddos have strep. . .again. Came home from a marriage conference last night, after having gotten several calls from one of the sick children, then went out to my local 24 hour CVS. Only to find out that even though I had a prescription filled there that very afternoon, as well as 2 others this week, they no longer participate in our prescription plan. WHAT??? The medicine was not that pricey, only $25, so I just payed it. There were several other people waiting and only one person working and it was after midnight and my husband and I are due back at the conference at 8:30. I will try to figure out the insurance craziness later. So I got the medicine, came home gave it to the child who needed it, checked my email, and went to bed. . .then got up early on a SATURDAY no less! I hate getting up early on a Saturday. It is the ONLY day until summer that I can sleep in.

Our school district finally decided to change the last day of school back from June 5 to the origional date of May 31. I am very happy about that as are my kids. Not much has to be moved around at this point but it will mean a little more stress at the end of the school year though.

Well, time to leave for the conference. . .more about that later. . .

More flooding

Time for an update!

Been awhile since I updated here, so here goes. . .
I am watching Law and Order Criminal Intent on my computer while writing this, gotta love the computer where I can have 2 windows open at the same time! I am making my way. . .albeit slowly. . .through Law and Order, starting with Criminal Intent. I like them all though! Love the Blockbuster Total Access! We take full advantage of it too! When I finish a DVD of Criminal Intent, I run up to Blockbuster to get one for the kids. Works great. So I get the most bang for my buck so to speak. Okay, okay, so much for my plugging Total Access.

This week has been kind of crazy. I was very busy this week with stuff at school. The rest of the year will probobly be very busy too. Just about a month ago in fact. Can't wait until I don't have to get up so early! I am considering applying for a job next year at the elementary school. It would be part time and would be at the school so that hours would work. That would be nice.

Mother's Day is coming up. . .not looking forward to that day. The first without my mom. I need to do something for my mother in law, but I am not sure what to do. The online cancer support group I belong to is ending for a few weeks to a month. Then it will start again. I am going to miss it. it is very helpful to be able to talk to people who have been there. This particular group has a lot of people who have lost loved ones to lung cancer. The man at our church who has lung cancer fell this past week and is having a hard time. That is what was the turning point for my mother. She fell while going into church on a Wednesday night. She went downhill after that.

I spent the weekend in bed with a migrain, well as much as I can with a house full of people! What fun! It was worse today. I spent the whole morning and part of the afternoon in bed today. I did manage to make dinner and do some laundry. Right now I am waiting for my Tylenol PM to kick in . . .finally the kids are asleep! I can't go to sleep until they are all in bed and asleep. Well, I better go to bed since I am getting really sleepy, finally! Hopefully I will be able to get up on time tomorrow!

my backyard

picture of my mom

How pathetic am I. . .

What does it say about me when the high point of my day was when I narrowly beat out a fumbling first time dad at the Saturday Clinic by getting my paper work filled out before him. . .even though he came in before me! Lets start at the beginning. . .After going to the Deanna Rose Farmstead for a kindergarten field trip where I chaperoned yesterday and then today I went downtown to pick up over 350 books for RIF. I was home for just about an hour so I downloaded pics from the digital camera of the field trip to the computer then uploaded them to Wal-mart.com to put in the scrapbook. Got lunch in the oven, ate it really quickly then ran out the door to take the pound cake to the church for the ladies spa afternoon. Pound cake that I bought by the way. After being at the farm all day and on my feet the WHOLE time since Robert's teacher is due to have a baby in 2 weeks and we all tried to make her rest as much as possible. When I got home yesterday and was SO TIRED and still had to make dinner I decided to just make the roast chicken I had gotten out of the freezer before I left and a vegetable to go with it. Only problem was I was out of veggies. . .ugh. Since I did have tomatoes and some of the great mozzarella cheese in olive oil and seasonings I decided that is what we would have with it. Normally we have a starch also but I was too tired to worry about it. Well, all of that boring stuff just to say I was way too tired to make homemade pound cakes so I bought them. So besides all this my son says, in a very crackly voice no less, that his throat is hurting. The only night clinic open was Children's Mercy and if you remember the social worker story. . .you KNOW I am not going there unless one of my kids is dying! So I told him I would wait until today to go.

So I dropped off the store bought pound cakes, came home and picked up Chris and we went to the Saturday clinic at our doctors office. About a 20 minute drive each way. And on a Saturday it normally a HUGE wait! Believe me I have 5 kids, I know about waiting in doctors offices to see doctors. . .and waiting. . .and waiting. . .and well. . .waiting! And having 5 kids who always seem to need stitches or have sore throats or twist something AFTER hours I am familiar with the night and Saturday clinic procedures. So I came in prepared with my insurance card out and ready (even though they have enough copies of it by now to save the rain forest) and my medical credit card in the other. With nimble fingers I wrote down my child's name, DOB, insurance company and reason for visit on the form before the receptionist could even greet me. Just as quick I grabbed a clip board to fill in the form required for Urgent care visits. With amusement I looked over at a man, who was by himself with a tiny baby in an infant seat. He was fumbling with the diaper bag and the clip board, looking for the insurance card presumably. Amateur. . . I sat down just long enough to finish the form and then I was up and handing it to the receptionist before the man even started! I got some kind of perverse pleasure out of knowing that my son would be seen before this poor first time dad. How sat is my life! So about 30 minutes later when with a script in hand for an antibiotic for my sons strep. . .we were on the road.

Laughing so hard!

"We shared an almond croissant, and Mommy had a delicious and much-needed cappucino, and we played the world's longest game of 'Got Yer Hat!", the adorableness of which undoubtedly made the other patrons grow a new ovary, or else frow up in their mouths a widdle." Oh, my gosh! Betsy you are so funny!

Tickle me Elmo TMX. . .

My cute little neice "tickling" her new Elmo. . .and my first You Tube blog video!

Easter Pictures. . . .

These cuties are my neice (getting a loving pinch from Grandpa!) and her new baby brother, Maeson!

SNOW!!!!

Well, it snowed last night. . .on Friday the 13th! TOO weird, we had measureable snow here yesterday! During the kids spring break for God's Sake! After raining all day, it started snowing around 7pm. Needless to say the kids thought it was cool! I think most of it will melt today though. We will see. . .

My week has been pretty much uneventful. . .save water balloons being popped in the living room and kids hopped up on Trix Crispy Treats (yeah. . .Trix and marshmallows! Yippee, can you say HYPER!!!) I guess by uneventful I mean I did not get to do anything that I needed to do, except laundry, this week. The girls and I did go to Curves, but that is about it. Hopefully this week, when everyone is GONE, I can get some things done.

I started out the week in Maryland. We took my Aunt and cousins to Einsteins for breakfast then my sister drove them home. When she got back we talked for a little bit then we left for the airport. On the way to the airport we visited my mom's grave. She says she goes often, since it is only about 10 minutes from her house at the most. My check in time was 4:45 for a 5:15 flight. We left the cemetary at just before 4 pm. I arrived at the skycap at 4:40 to check one bag. He asked me when my flight was and I told him 5:15, he looked at me like I had horns or something and threw my boarding pass back at me (I had already checked in online at my dad house) and told me I better RUN! I was like, dude, I just made this flight a couple of months ago. . .relax. So I went about 1000 feet to the security check point at Reagan National Airport, which is about 1500 feet or so from my gate, gave them my id and boarding pass and got in line. As I took off my shoes, cuz everyone these days has to do that, I put took out all the metal I had. . .my cell phone etc and put it in my carry on. I made a mental note of my person to make sure I was "good to go". I had the same bra on I flew out to Maryland with and it was an underwire, but it had not set off any alarms in KC (unless you count my husbands. . .) so I figured I was fine there. Nothing else metal on me so I knew I would breeze through the checkpoint. WRONG!

I kept setting off the alarms! We could not figure out what is was so I was taken aside to wait for a female TSA agent to inspect my "wares". Of course she was taking a break or something and did not seem to interested in moving quickly. She leisurly finished her conversation with another TSA agent as I stood there in my stocking feet waiting to be patted down so I could catch my flight home. After another agent gathered all of my things, my purse, my shoes, my carry on and the little bowl that now held my earrings and necklace. . .just in case they were the metal detecting culprit, and took me further down to wait. Right next to a wall clock that read, 4:50. I sat patiently, well at least I seemed patient on the outside. . . Ask my husband, I am not very patient when it comes to being on time. I HATE to be late. I did not want to leave as late as we did from my parents house, but I was not driving so I just went with the flow. So here I am trying not to cause any undo commotion that would get me in big trouble, waiting, so it seemed, patiently. The female agent finally comes over and in painstaking detail explains exactly what she will be looking for and at and when. Inside I'm thinking, just a quick pat down and you will see that yes, indeed this is all my fat. . . I tell her quietly since now there is a man and his cooresponding male TSA agent right next to us, that I have on an underwire bra. She notes that and proceeds to scan my body with the metal detecting wand of doom, which goes off at my bust on both sides of my body. Great, lets go I think. Nope, not so fast. The wand started beeping at my head now! What, my head? Ma'am, Are your barrettes metal? DOH, why yes they are. I did not wear barrettes on the flight out to MD. So now it is time to put down the wand and use her hands on select places. . .which she again explains in excrusiating detail! Finally she is done and I can go. I try not to run as I grab my things, put my shoes back on. . .thank God for slip on shoes! As I arrive at my gate, there are just a few people in line waiting to board. I casually, on the outside again, fall in line like I have been here for hours looking at the overpriced magazines, books and $5 bottles of water. Whew, makes me tired just thinking of it! After some chit chat with my seat mate, I dove into my book, determined to finish it before we landed in KC. The rest of the flight I only stopped reading long enough to get some pretzets and a drink. . .and then 2 world famous hot chocolate chip cookies. I finished the last sentence just as we touched down. Perfect timing. . .

Easter Weekend in Maryland

Well, gonna try to write an update now. . .The weekend was quick. . .too quick! I got in on Friday at 4:45 and my sister met me at the airport, we drove to the house and talked a bit while we waited for her husband to get ready and for my dad to get home (he was at his sisters, she lives close). Then we went out to Buca di Beppo for dinner, which was a lot of fun! The next day we picked up my Aunt and 2 cousins (they do not drive) and did the grocery shopping for Easter. My aunt and cousins arrived just after lunch, so I made them some sandwiches and we looked at the albums I brought (did I tell you all that I had a box of pics that I put in about 10 albums- each with over 200 pictures in it??? Then we went to the Easter production at my moms old church, the one my sister still attends. Lets just say it was HUGE! there were 12 of us there. On the way home we picked up pizza and I HAD to get a sub too since you cant get a decent sub here in Kansas City. . .go figure!? After dinner we made pies, played cards, looked at pictures, dyed Easter eggs, talked and talked and talked! We all slept in on Easter, since we had gone to church the night before. The rest of the clan arrived around 2ish and we finished prepping dinner while we talked and had fun. My newest nephew, who was named after my mom, was there. . .he is only 3 weeks old. His name is Maeson, after my mom Mae. All in all it was a good trip. I did not get to spend as much time alone with my Dad and sister as I would have liked because my cousins were there. Both of them are mentally delayed. the oldest one is 28 and she probobly has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. She is actually smart, but her social skills are very very delayed. My other cousin is 21, and is a senior in high school. Their mom is my late mothers sister. Another one of my moms sisters died in October. Spending the weekend with them made me wonder what would happen to them if my aunt were to pass away. They are on welfare and assistance. They have very very little. My younger sister is going to help them by trying to get my younger cousin to go onto college and my older cousin to work. Right now she does not work. I know she can hold down a job. Their mom is not in great shape, she has a lot of physical problems. I know before she passed away, my mom was trying to help my aunt. They had just gotten back in touch. My aunt had moved and not told anyone and they were not able to track her down until the last few years. Anyway, since my aunt and cousins were there until Monday (they were supposed to go home Sunday night, but my sister asked them if they wanted to stay the night again) I did not get to go to my moms grave until Monday on the way to the airport. That was really hard. There is no marker yet, just a long patch of dirt. It was hard to believe and still does not seem real. My dad seems to be doing okay. He is having finacial issues waiting for the insurance money and my moms savings account to be freed up for him. I wish I could do more, I got him a $50 grocery gift card and put it in a card before I left. I wish I could have stayed longer. Easter was also my brothers birthday, he was not there, he lives in Florida and since he already missed 2 weeks when my mom was sick and passed away in January and February he could not make it. We called him. He did finally get to see his oldest daughter though. Her step father was killed in an accident just about a month after my mom died. She is supposed to spend the weekends with my brother, she had not since her step father passed away. Supposedly to be with her mom. This past weekend was the first time she went to my brothers since then. He was very happy to see her again! I am trying to write in the journal I got from my mom every night. I found hers, one very similar to the one I have from her, and it had about 4 pages written in. I photocopied them. It is the leather bound book with a bible verse and short "story" on each page with a place for you to write in. One of the things she wrote was how she wanted to keep a record for her kids. Just about 3 weeks before she passed away she started a writing class, she was SO EXCITED about that class! She went to one class before she went into the hospital! I don't think I have nearly as much to say as she did, but I want to say it anyway! So I am going to try to be consistant with writing every day in it.Sorry I have been away so long! Hopefully next week when the kids go back to school I can get back into everything I need to. . .it is amazing how busy they keep me! Today they popped a water balloon in the living room, all over the coffee table, carpet, and Wii Motes! ARGH!!!! And the fact that it is hard to get them to bed at a decent hour!Dawn

LOTS of Baking and some writing. . .

Between last night and all day today I have baked 8 full sized cheesecakes (with my "famous" pecan crust), 14 mini cheesecakes, 30 star (baked in Reynolds shaped foil pans) shaped M and M brownies, 6 full sized loaves of Pecan Pound Cake, 6 mini pecan pound cakes, 1 cookie pizza, and one HUGE homemade Chocolate Cake with Whipped Cream Cheese frosting, all for the churches youth group fundraiser tomorrow. I may do more when I come home tomorrow from church before the Coffee House Fundraiser. I am tired, but mostly feel good.
Here is some stuff I have written to try to process my moms death. . .
For the most part I like living in Missouri, even though it is 1200 miles away from my family. That is until my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Did I miss the family the previous 12 years? Yes, but there was always "time" and there were visits, however infrequent they were. I did talk to my mom at least a few times a week, but usually every day. There was not much I could do about being so far away. With a large family it is not very easy to just up and move. Especially when the cost of living is so much different. I did talk to my husband about pulling the kids out of school and temporarily moving to Maryland if I thought there was a way to help my mom and if she needed it. But that time never came. She tolerated her treatments very well and then I got the "call" to come because the end was very near. It was all way too fast! Yes, she had been sick for over a year but things seemed to be looking up. I had just been to visit her 2 weeks before she passed away. I am very grateful for that visit. But at the time if anyone asked me if I thought my mom would be gone in 2 weeks, I would have said no. She was doing great! The weekend I was there she baked about 5 batches of pound cakes to take to people. She took one to her radiologists office and even made some for the construction workers who were out in front of her house working on a drainage ditch. I am still amazed at her stamina and strength. My brother who lives in Florida came to visit her the following weekend. Neither one of us thought we would be there again so soon for her death.The whole time I was riding in our van to Maryland, I was torn between wanting my husband to somehow go faster so that we could be there NOW, to wanting to go just as fast in the other direction. Maybe if I did not go she would not die. Crazy I know, but that is what I was thinking. I still don't know how I made it into the hospital room in one piece. It was like a bad dream. When we were getting closer to the hospital, the same hospital that my first 2 children were born in, I felt like the first thing I was going to do when I got out of the van was to throw up! Some how I did not, I made my way into the hospital and was met by my oldest sister in the lobby (she had been coming to the lobby looking for me every few minutes because we had called to say we were close). We hugged as we were walking to the elevator. Neither one of us wanted to delay my seeing my mom, thats how close we all thought she was to death. As we got off of the elevator I saw literally dozens of my family members, my moms co workers, family friends, as well as people who I did not know (at the time, I would meet them all over the next few days.). It was surreal, as they all seemed to part and make room for me to go into the room. I hugged my dad who was just outside my moms hopital room and I know I said something, I just dont remember what it was. No one else tried to talk to me or anything and as I entered my moms room everyone left so that I could have private time with my mom. My brothers and sisters (I am one of 6) all hugged me on the way out. My aunt told me later that week that I looked like a ghost as I entered my moms room. I spent a few minutes talking and hugging my mom although she was not responsive at the time. Then my husband and kids came in as did my younger sister (when she got married 2 years ago my parents finished their basement into a seperate apartment and she and her husband live there so she was my moms caretaker along with my dad). There was a certain thing that my sister did to rouse my mom and she did this as the kids talked to my mom. She responded to the first 2 of my kids verbally and looked at them. My oldest, a 13 year old girl, had the hardest time and was reluctant to go up to my mom. She finally did and talked to her and said her goodbyes. One of my cousins comforted her in the hallway afterward. I don't know how long it had been, but the kids and my husband left and went to eat (we had not eaten in a LONG time because we had been driving in a blizzard) and then to stay at my mother in laws. I went home that night to my moms house and since my clothes were in my van in a repair shop in West Virginia, I slept in my moms pjs and in her bed since 2 of my brothers were also staying at her house that night. My dad stayed at the hospital. I washed my clothes and put the same ones back on the next morning. We all went back to the hospital. We stayed there all day. It was my daughters 10th birthday. She and the rest of the kids were with my husband still at my MIL's house. I thought it best that they not hang around the hospital and I also thought that I needed the time to focus on myself not them. That night we left the hospital reluctantly. We all had a sense that she would pass while we were gone for the night. My dad stayed the night. He climbed into the bed with her as he had for the previous nights at the hospital. He said they had some times of clarity and conversation. I am sorry that I missed that, but very glad that he experienced it. That was my biggest fear, that he would miss her last moments. I am glad that he had that private time with her. That night I was going to sleep in my moms bed again, but I never made it there. I was watching a movie in the living room. My oldest brother was on the fold out couch and I was in the recliner. He fell asleep, but I was watching the movie, I had never seen it all (Enemy of the State with Will Smith). Not long before the movie was over my 1 and 1/2 year old nephew came downstairs crying. So I scooped him up and rocked him back to sleep. I was stuck in the recliner the rest of the night! It was okay though. Just after 7 am the phone rang and I grabbed it at the same time both of my brothers did (my parents have multiple handsets and we all had one with us). My sister who stayed at the hospital that night at the request if my dad said "She's gone". We all knew it was coming, but I don't think we were ready for it. The next few days were filled with lots of decisions and stuff for the funeral.

Doing all of this baking today brings to mind my mom. During the last month in particular of her life she baked a LOT. My mother had always been a good cook and baker, but she used that gift during the last part of her life to reach out to others. She baked a lot of pound cakes and shared them with various people. When I came to visit her for a long weekend in January, just 2 weeks before she passed away, she made 3 batches of her famous pecan pound cake. One bundt cake was prepared for her radiologists office. Her radiology appointments were every weekday at 6 am. On the Monday (the day I would be leaving) before her last radiology treatment which would be on Wednesday, she took the pound cake baked in her Rose shaped bundt pan for the wonderful people at her radiologists office. She figured that was a good time to take a cake so that by Wednesday, her last treatment, they would be done with her pan and she could take it home. She had also decided that her goal before she passed away was to take a cake (or some other type of baked item) to each one of her neighbors. She said before she died she wanted to knock on each and every door in her neighborhood. Sadly she never got the chance. She did however get the chance to take coffee and a pound cake to the construction workers who were installing a new drainage system in front of her house. Her house is at the end of a cul-de-sac, but it is the only house actually in the cul-de-sac. The rest is empty and will never been built on because it needs to stay "green". This was all just mere weeks before she ended up in the hospital and passed. She was such a strong woman. I am truly blessed to have had her as a mother. What an example. I am so lost without her here. I just can't believe she is not here. I know I am not the only one who feels that way. . .

well, it is official, I am next years PTA prez. . .

Just got an email telling me that the nominating committe voted today officaially and congratulating me on being the prez. I thought there were gonna be "elections" and such. And, honestly, I was hoping I would "lose"! LOL. Oh well! I have got my work cut out for me, huh? I was finishing the newsletter tonight, or rather, working on it. I can't finish it yet because there are people who (still!) have not given me information. One of which is the principal.

Still feeling puny with the strep stuff. . .yuck. Going to be doing lots of baking later in the week for our church youth coffee house fundraiser. Should be interesting. Lots of stuff to do still, as usual. Right now, I need to go to bed though cuz my knee is hurting. Been bugging me the last couple of days. Tomorrow got to go back to Curves (now that I am not contagious. . .) hope it feels better........

Weekend update. . .

Right now I am waiting for my husband to wake up before we meet our friends for dinner. We are going our with out our children, so there will be 16 less of us! YIPPEE!!!! There will only be 10, of us and we are all adults (well, I think we are at least. . .lol). No kids menus today. It has been awhile since we last got together without the kiddos. We actually all just got together 2 weeks ago for our friends 2 adopted childrens Christening. Then we went swimming. Which, of course meant that I had to buy 5 new bathing suits so that we could go! That was fun. Our friends parents are still in town (they live in Miami) so they will be at dinner with us. They are fun, a little hard to understand sometimes, but very nice and fun.

Last night we had our friends and neighbors over, the ones with the 7 boys. We did the whole St Patricks day thing. I made corned beef and cabbage and also decided to put chili in the crock pot too, just in case there was not enough to go around (there were 16 of us last night). Surprisingly the chili was very popular. Everyone loved it! They thought it tasted really good. Good thing I worked really hard to open up the can! (actually it was really hard with my RA, the big Costco sized can did not fit into the electric can opener so I had to do it by hand! ). I will have to get some more of it. It filled up the crock pot and only cost me $6. Cheaper and less mess then making it from scratch! Good to have ready for those nights I am not feeling well.

We did have fun last night. I made my moms famous pecan pound cakes. I added green food coloring to one to make it festive! I am eating a slice now as a matter of fact. The kids played well (mostly) together. After we ate we watched America's Funniest Home Videos from the DVR, then some Hows that Made. It was a big hit, as the friends do not have cable, they only get like 2 channels and they are both "fuzzy". AFV is always good for a laugh.

Earlier in the day my husband and I borrowed a friends truck and picked up some furniture. A new bed. This one is an old water bed frame that has been converted to a regular bed and it has storage underneath. Right now we just have the mattress in our room on the old frame. It is about 6 inches narrower then our old bed though. So it does not quite fit on the box springs we have. . .But hopefully this bed will be more comfortable on hubbys back. I have not had a good track record with beds. Well, I need to go make sure our van is not too messy, since we are driving tonight for 6 of us. Don't want them to be too disgusted!

Baby Maeson born. . .finally

My sister in law Mary Jane gave birth this morning at 10:08 AM Eastern time to a 6 lb 3.2 oz baby boy, named Maeson. He was named after my late mother Mae. All are doing well, although mom is very tired because even though she was induced yesterday, Maeson did not show up until this morning! He also started coming while mom was only 8 cm, which meant the doctor had to dialate her manually. . .OUCH! This is truly a miraculous event. MJ has been had 3 other babies, one died in utero and was still born- he was only a week before his due date. That was very hard on the family. They also have 2 adopted boys. The miraculous thing is that MJ had to use fertility drugs each time she became pregnant. So at over 40 years old it never entered into her mind that she would need to take any kind of birth control. I mean with her severe endometriosis and past inablility to get pregnant without intervention, why would she need birth control right? Well, Maeson was a SURPRISE baby alright. Her youngest is not quite 2 years old and yes, was concieved using fertility drugs. So when they found out she was pregnant it was indeed a surprise!

While we all know that Mom is looking down on us at this time it is very hard for her not to be here at this time. Before she died she told Mary Jane not to worry about Nick, the baby she lost because now she would be in heaven taking care of him. Even on her death bed mom was thinking of others, not herself!

Going so many different directions. . .

. . .I sometimes don't even know what end is up! I never know when I wake up if I will be too weak to do what I need to do throughout the day. . .much less what I WANT to do. My RA usually acts up 2 days a week, but it is not like I get a warning the night before or something so that I could plan for it. No, that would be too easy! Of couse I suppose there may actually be warning signs, but I am just too frikin' tired and sore to notice or care!

My girls and I have been going to Curves. I have been going since last May. They went for free in the summer time. Just last week my oldest (13) said she wanted to go so I signed them up. Before they could change their mind. . .lol!

I started taking a new med for my RA, an NSAID, and it makes me kind of tired. . .just what I need! Today I had breakfast with a friend then we went (NON) plant shopping (too early apparantly) at Home Depot. On the way home I stopped for bread. When I got home I crashed in bed. It was 11:15, I did not get up until 3:35! The the kids came home and I put dinner in the oven (THANK GOD for Stouffers Lasagna!) and sat on the couch. I did manage to fold a load of clothes. . .it took me a few hours it seems but I did it! I don't know if it is the medicine, but my heart was also racing a lot too.

There is SO MUCH I need to be doing around here, but it seems like I am only managing the minimum at the moment. Good thing I have a friend coming Friday to help me clean. Which means tomorrow I have to get ready for her. . .lol.

I have been posting on a cancer support group for people who have losted loved ones to cancer. That has helped some, but I know that I have barely scratched the surface of what I should be dealing with. I am going back to Maryland for Easter. Just me, on a plane. I have already upset the delicate balance that my sister has created though, and I have not even gotten there! She is upset that I mentioned the big Easter get together to my Aunt and that she is planning on attending. Thing is when I was there in January I visited my Aunts house with my mom and dad. I remember my mother inviting my Aunt and also my other Aunt (who does not drive and has to be picked up) and my Uncle (whose wife, my moms sister, died in October). My mom was excited about Easter because they were all going to be there and my new nephew would be there too (he should have been born today, they induced my sister in law this morning, but I have not heard anything. . .I am taking that as good news. . .). Anyway when I spoke to my sister the other day she got all pissed off and started yelling about not wanting other people, just family to be there. Umm, they are family! I tried to ease her feelings by telling her I did not care either way (even though I do, I want them there cause my mom would have and would want us to become closer after her death) and if she cared she needed to talk to my dad about it. Oh well, not much I can do from here. I get in the Friday before Easter and I told my sister that all they needed to do was give me a list and I would do shopping and cooking etc.

We are still trying to decide what to do about school next year. The oldest son will be in 7th grade and wants to be homeschooled again. I am reluctant because that is a lot of pressure on ME and last time it did not go well (in my mind it did not, they were fine and when they went to public school were way above their peers). So far he would be the only one homeschooled. But that means that I would have a HUGE RED TARGET on my head! Given his "truancy" track record (from legitimate illnesses and medical conditions that I have documented to the peril of several trees at least!) I am not looking forward to homeschooling because I just know they will be knocking on my door to check on him. Esp since they will loose the funding that comes when his little butt is placed firmly in one of their schools chairs!

Oh well, too much to worry about tonight. Right now I need to get my oldest out of the shower and the next 2 out from in front of the tv so they can go to bed. I can't go to sleep with them still awake and I have to get up very early in the morning!

Rheumatoid arthritis- at least now I know that my pain and discomfort have a name. Most of all I am very irritated that I have to do this "alone". It is just really awful that I can't just call my mom up and talk to her about it. Even as I type those words I am still not sure they are real. But the past few weeks have been all too real. Most things kind of ran together. Minutes became hours and before I knew it days became weeks. It was just over a month ago that I went and saw my mother for the weekend. If only I had known that would be the last time I saw her. . .I would have done things differently. Not that there was anything I did that I don't think I should have. But if I had known that those days would be the last that I would spend with my mother here on earth, I would have savoured each moment and tried to remember it. I would have spoken every unspoken word of praise and love I felt. I would have taken pictures so that I could have something to hold on to instead of just the memories in my head. Even though she was sick for some time, I am still in shock as I think about her being gone from this world. I feel as if it is all some horrible dream. I suppose one reason I feel this way is that I never really got a chance to say goodbye to her at all. I went and saw her before she died, but she did not recognize me. That was hard for me. I suppose you can say that I don't feel like I had closure. I just feel empty. And sore. . . more later. . .

My mom passed away on Feb 1, 2007

http://groups.msn.com/MaeDimes/_whatsnew.msnw

I will write more soon.

Update. . .long over due

Thanks, Betsy for the reminder. . .it has been too long since I updated my blog.

I am doing laundry for my weekend trip to see my mom. She has 3 brain tumors and is undergoing radiation for them as well as chemo. Her spirits are really good and she says she feels pretty good. I am visiting for a couple of days with out the kiddos. Ralph and them will fend for themselves this weekend.

My kids have gotten over their HATE for me because I gave the kitty away. Smokey certainly had be hooked. Too bad my allergies decided to flare up! I really wanted to keep her, and if you know me at ALL, you know how weird that was! She wrapped me around her paw from the moment she got stuck in the spare tire of my van! We brought her in out of the freezing cold to our kind of cold sun room. The next day the kids convinced me to let her upstairs for a little bit. Then she was up all the time. Before you know it I was buying her presents everytime I went to the store! She would climb on my lap then up my chest and put her head on my shoulder and fall asleep! The kids got over the HATE because the kitten has been given to our friends and neighbors, so pretty much they can see her when they want to. . .and my allergies don't get attacked when I come into my own home.

Been busy doing the PTA stuff and going to Curves and just doing general stuff for the house and kids. Will try to update more later. . .got to finish laundry and make dinner. . .almost forgot about that, the family wants to eat EVERY day now! LOL

Fighting and dying with my Supergroup!