Welcome to my (crazy) world!

Reevaluating a lot of things right now...

2012-01-08T14:05:00.002-06:00

The new year is a time to reevaluate a lot of things in your life; it is a natural time to see what is working and what is not working. I had to start that early this year...about a month and a half early to be exact! But what I have learned is I have been doing some things really right and some things really wrong! LOL. For obvious reasons I will not get too specific about details here to protect the innocent (and not so innocent, lol!)

I was at my son's school the other day (first to volunteer for an assembly where KC Wolf came and talked to the kids and then later that day as a substitute in a special education classroom. I loved the fact that this teacher who teaches using the Love and Logic method had a TON of quotes around her classroom. I wrote down a few (actually I took pictures of most of them and wrote down the name of the author of others so I could reference them later.)

The first one is by Theodore Roosevelt, "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." No explanation needed for that one I think.

The next one is also by Theodore Roosevelt, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." That is a very simple yet powerful statement! My life has been turned on its head over the past couple of months. People who were close to me have made decisions that have had an impact on me and my family as well as our extended friendship circle. These choices were thrust upon us and have raised questions and concerns about our character because of our association with these people. The hard thing is I still count these people as my friends and it hurts me on a daily basis that our friendship has changed so drastically. So I am doing what I can, with what I have, where I am...each day. It is most certainly a daily endeavor.

I have developed an unnatural attachment to these people and God showed me through this whole situation where I was unaturally attached and what was suffering because of it (my marriage and my family). I am trying really hard to reconcile my own actions and character throughout this whole situation and can safely say that I am capable of holding my head up.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (Various sources have attributed this to Elenor Roosevelt while others attribute it to Joseph Joubert either way it is a good quote!) I have tried to explain this to my kids so many times, but not in those exact words. We give other people too much power over ourselves and our feelings and most importantly over our self worth! We should not five up the right to our feelings to someone else because they say so. Just because someone else "says" something does not mean that it is the truth. My circle of responsibility is for dealing with myself and how what I say or do affect others...that is IT! The only person I need to be accountable to is God. Just because certain people have an opinion about me, does not make it the truth.

I am getting tired (physically and emotionally) and I have to take my son out to pick out something for his class at school for his birthday, so one last one for now.

"You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out." Doug Conant...CEO of Campbell's Soup. Again....does not need much explanation...

I am too tired so I am sure this all was disjointed and hard to follow...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2011-11-24T08:40:00.003-06:00

White Chocolate Blueberry Swirl Cheesecakes!

Broccoli Casserole....YUMMY!

This is what we MUST have at Thanksgiving in order for me to be happy with the food! Of course Turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing are all must haves too...but this stuff...is a yummy, awesome tradition in my family! My mom, God rest her soul, made this every Thanksgiving for the family in place of the yucky (in my opinion!) Green Bean Casserole. Over the years I have updated it. My mom used broccoli, cream of mushroom soup, French Fried Onions, and the golden wonder cheese...VELVETTA. Say what you want about Velvetta...it makes the BEST mac and cheese around and is amazing for casseroles ( not to mention Rotel dip...especially the Queso Blanco variety!) Anyway that was it! I first changed mine when I learned to make a roux...seriously if you don't know how to make a roux yet- LEARN, stat! It will change your life! I'm just sayin'! No, really! You know what goes into your roux and it is not filled with preservatives like the canned soups are! You can build whatever flavor profile you want to! Next I thought Caramazied onions would be a nice touch so I caramalized red onions for the top. WOW! This year I had to go even further and I made my own French Fried Onions! Talk about decadent! It is so good! I made this a few days ago and parked it in the freezer to make today. I, of course, had to try a sample so I put some in my small Rachael Ray casserole dish and tried it out with my Bestie, Jana and my friend Jason when were were crafting the other day. It was a hit!

I am thankful for my family! My baby is home from college for a few days and we have all been blessed with (relativly) good health. I am off now to relax a bit with my Kindle...some more prep to come later when I make my cornbread stuffing and mashed potatoes. Everything else is done (although I may end up making some pumpkin pies too...or better yet, get my son to do it!) Ralph is doing the turkey...which is brining right now! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

All I wanted to do was order my son a birthday present...

2011-10-21T00:36:00.004-05:00

My intentions were good...but so far the results have been far from good! My oldest son is officially 17 now (for a whole 39 minutes!) and he sometimes (often times...) gets the short end of the stick because he is the second oldest and he is such and easy going guy and does not make waves. I wanted to so something really nice for him for his birthday...and I cannot afford a car (although I am hoping to win one in the McDonald's Monopoly game!) for him so I know he has been wanted Rock Band again...Easy, right?!?!

NOT! I mean really not easy at all! I had a $100 Amazon gift card from a market research study I did for General Mills so I chose to use it all for his gift. As soon as the gift card hit my account I ordered a Rock Band bundle and the next day got a shipping confirmation from the seller. Then the next day I got a cancellation notice. WHAT?!?! Of course I had to wait for the credit to hit my account to order another one. So I ordered another one and got shipping confirmation and it arrived a day early today. I got home from subbing at my sons school and on my porch their was the box...totally not wrapped in anything...a ROCK BAND for XBox Box just announcing to anyone who passed by, "Come steal me!" The potential theft of the aforementioned present aside, I brought it in and waited for my son to get home from play rehearsal to open it.

He opened the box and started unpacking the instruments. He started putting the drums (his favorite part...he is a REAL drummer after all!) together first. All of a sudden he exclaims something (probably cannot write it here...lol) and shows me a ziploc baggie filled with a cord...or rather pieces of a cord. REALLY! what the heck. That did NOT happen in transit! So tomorrow I am shipping this one back and waiting on (ANOTHER!!) credit so I can order him (ANOTHER!!) Rock Band. Poor Zach might get to play Rock Band before his 18th birthday, lol!

Playing catch up. . .again!

2011-09-15T11:39:00.002-05:00

It seems like I am always playing catch up! Today I am working on getting my coupons in order for shopping this weekend. And of course as always. . .the house is a mess. What else is new, right? Right now I am going to make some baked goods to send to my "baby" at college tomorrow. I miss her a lot! I am so proud though! More later since I am just avoiding doing what I am supposed to be doing by writing here, lol!

This is it. . .the last week of "summer" vacation. . .

2011-08-09T09:05:00.003-05:00

I am so NOT ready for Summer to be over for a lot of reasons!

The first one being the fact that my baby turns 18 tomorrow and leaves for COLLEGE a week later! How in the world did that happen? She was just learning to walk yesterday! We spent the better part of the day yesterday getting her prepped for leaving which meant a lot of shopping! There is still more shopping and lots of packing that needs to happen.

Secondly, I am not ready for setting the alarm clock. . .I like summer where I can stay up late and sleep in late! (unless I have to take my daughter to the Berry Patch!) Now I will have to not only get myself up early but the kids as well! Most of the older ones do it themselves, but I still need to be up, especially since I am going to be a sub this year. . .

Which brings be to the third (but certainly not the last!) reason I am sad to see summer come to an end. . .I will be working again! While the money will be nice I am very nervous about being a sub! It seems like forever ago that I took the class and I just don't know what to expect!

There are so many other reasons I am sad summer is over. . .but I have kids that need attention right now and errands to run and coupons to clip and laundry to do. .. you get the idea! LOL!

My favorite time of day. . .

2011-08-04T00:43:00.003-05:00

Right now my house is quiet...well all but the bazillion fans I have running to try and keep our house cool in this 100+ degree Missouri Summer heat wave and of course the smoke detector chirping because I forgot (again!) to put a new battery in it!

I love this time of night because my normally chaotic and loud house is calm and quiet. . .something I only experience when everyone is gone or after midnight! Although in summer time it happens less because my kids think summer means they do not have to go to bed at any particular time!

This time of night I can get work done, like finally cleaning off and wiping down the table, loading the dishwasher, clipping coupons, and listing items for sale on Amazon! Sure I could have done these things earlier in the day, but it never seems to work out that way between driving this one here and that one there. Then there is also the phone calls, sick kids, whiny neighbors and hungry husbands to deal with as well!

I don't know what it is about this time of the day. . .but I just seem to get more work done at this time. My best friend and I call it "working well under pressure" when we end up doing out finest work in the wee hours of the morning the day of a deadline or event! What ever it is, I will bask in the glow of the ceiling fan that is missing one light and has a slight wobble for a few more minutes while I check out Facebook one last time, see if Amazon has any new, interesting. . .and free Kindle books for me to download (I found this one the other day and could not pass it up. . .especially with a price tag of FREE!), or see if it is my turn in one of the six Scrabble games I am currently playing (and mostly loosing) on my Evo and then head to bed finally.

My coupons

2011-08-02T22:11:00.003-05:00

I really should be clipping coupons right now. . .but I am avoiding it by blogging about my coupon organizational system, lol! I used to use the binder method, but my pages kept coming out of rings and while it was awesome to be able to flip right to a coupon when I saw something on clearance, it was a pain to clear our expired coupons. So I wanted something different where I could keep all of my coupons with me every time I shop and I went to a box. It is like a shoe box, but it is actually a Tupperware container that was intended for holding pictures. It fits right in the child seat of a grocery cart...unlike my binder which would not always fit in the carts and would slide around and get messed up. So I will see how this one goes for awhile. . .I will let you know! Right now I guess I need to actually clip and file the coupons that I have been printing this week as well as the 6 copies of 4 inserts I have from this past Sunday's paper...

Has it really been that long. . .WOW!

2011-08-02T17:40:00.003-05:00

I cannot believe it has been so long since I last updated my blog. . .what the heck am I saying. . .I can totally believe it! This past year has been like my life always is. . .BUSY, CRAZY, and NEVER a dull moment! Here is a picture my friend took at my Besties daughter's birthday party. It is an awesome picture of my son Robert. . .who has sense gotten his hair trimmed.

There have been two graduations in our house (3 if you count the preschool graduation where I used to work and HAD to not only attend but also help the kids practice for, lol!)! I graduated with an associates degree in Paraprofessional Education from the University of Phoenix in May (finished in March) and my oldest daughter graduated in the top of her class from Belton High School in May! I was working at a preschool in our district but chose to stop working there to be a substitute "full time" within the same district. I want to have more time to be able to volunteer at my children's schools (all 4 of them) more often and when I was working from 10 AM until 6 PM (if the parents were on TIME that is) it was next to impossible for me to volunteer.

One child has their drivers licence and a car and another has a car and will be taking the driving test this week. . .again. My 3 oldest kids all have jobs! Cat still works at Tarjay and Zach and Maeghan work at the Berry Patch (seasonal work, but it helped him get a car and her build up her savings so the rest of us can borrow money)

This coming school year is an "odd" year again. I will have a 5th, 7th, 9th, and 11th grader (all at different schools!!!) as well as a freshman in college (WTF!)! The kids are involved in drama, service learning, choir, A-team, student government, Boy Scouts, and more.

I am working hard at getting my couponing back in full swing since I not only have a family of 7 I also have one in college (and four more right on her heels) and my own student loans to pay off. There is always something going on around here.

I am not on any PTA board this coming year, but I am sure I will still be involved. I am going to be helping with Learning Communities again this year at the 5th and 6th grade center and My BESTEST BESTIE in the whole wide world will be not only volunteering for our 9th graders school occasionally but we have ideas of starting our own business in some sort of way. . .we just have not narrowed down our ideas yet! Right now I have a ton of coupons to catch up with from this week (both printed from the computer and from the papers- there were 4 inserts this week!) before they get too out of hand! I cannot get behind again!

Whirlwind couple of months. . .

2010-06-07T23:55:00.002-05:00

Over the past couple of months I have been really side-tracked as I focused creating recipes for a cooking contest called The Real Women of Philadelphia sponsored by Philadelphia Cream Cheese and Paula Deen.

The contest was an 8 week long recipe contest where women (hence the name of the contest. . . lol) create recipes and make videos and submit them to the contest. 16 finalist were chosen and at the end of this month 4 finalists will be chosen out of those 16 finalists. There will be a live cooking even broadcast live on the internet where all of the wonderful finalists will be cooking. I really wanted to be one of them. I worked on a lot of recipes and stressed about it and submitted at least one recipe each week.

I have gotten the cooking contest bug. I love creating recipes and I really really love cooking. I would love for this love of cooking that I to translate into a career or maybe a cookbook or something! I did not get chosen as a finalist although I did get some recognition from Ms. Paula herself. . .here is the link! My buddy Jana helped me through the whole process and I am very glad that she stuck by me even when I was cranky!

Jana actually gave me the idea to keep creating recipes, but to blog about them instead of doing the contest thing. So I am thinking about it. Right now I am stuck in Grey's Anatomy world though. . .lol and have almost caught up! Ah. . .got to love summer vacation and no alarm clocks! So I may do more blogging and recipe creations and blogging about recipe creations and maybe even some more how to videos that are not tied down to having to include one thing! In my free time that is. . .ha ha

Holiday shop, sleeping in, and kidney stones!

2009-11-24T22:57:00.006-06:00

It must be Thanksgiving! Jana and I are in full fledged Holiday Shop prep mode. Last week we spent hours on the phone while looking through items for the holiday shop online. One of us would find and item and tell the other one the items number to look up, I think we each had a billion different windows opened while we laughed at some of the weird items we found, like this one. Really, who does not need a Spooky Toilet Paper holder? I mean at least you are in the right place when you get the crap scared out of you! *ducks*.

We had a blast looking at items and I was afraid to look at my shopping cart because I kept adding stuff to our cart. We figured we could clear out some of the stuff and we did. . .although we did spend over $1000 on items for the shot though. We did good and got some great items for the kids. Next week we will be pricing items, trying to get volunteers to help us and organizing the holiday shop.

I am looking forward to sleeping in for 5 days straight! NO ALARM CLOCK!!! Whoo-hoo!!! I tried to sleep in this past Saturday, but ended up in the emergency room at 6:30 am. Not cool at all! Not sure yet what is wrong, I think it is another kidney stone. The ER doctor said that all of my blood, urine and CT tests were "clear" and sent me home with 4 prescriptions. I am very thankful for the medicine that I got in the hospital because I went from a pain level of 10 to a 1 or 2. Hopefully I will not have any more problems. The next day I had an MRI for my migraines. . .that was fun. I felt like a burrito in that MRI machine and I am very glad that I did not get stuck in it. . .ROFL! Well since I am under the influence of mind altering meds and it is late, I am going to finish for how. I hope that this all made sense. . .lol.Time for bed.

The Drummond's did not disappoint!

2009-11-17T17:14:00.006-06:00

Well, it is hard to believe, but exactly 24 hours ago, two of my best friends and my daughter and I arrived at Unity Temple on the Country Club Plaza to see Ree Drummond, better known as "The Pioneer Woman". To say that we enjoyed ourselves would be an understatement! We had a blast! We acted like giddy school girls. . .well one of us still is a giddy school girl, but you know what I mean. Even though there was cold, dreary rain outside, we enjoyed ourselves so much.

It was like Christmas for us! Even though we already had our numbers tickets for the book signing portion, we wanted to get there early to get a good seat for the event. And my good, I mean, close. Those seats were very uncomfortable! And for those of us that are fluffy, well. . .they were downright torture! But knowing we were actually breathing the same air as Ree (and Marlboro Man!!!) was worth every minute (and by the time we left there were over 400 minutes!!!) My friend Karen, literally skipped to the car when my daughter and I picked her up! She got in the front seat and clapped

her hands in excitement and looked at me and squealled! Then, noting my earrings, she leapt from the car yelling, "I forgot earrings!!!". ROFL. Did she think that Ree would kick her out if she did not have earrings? Ha ha, seriously, though Ree does have some awesome taste in earrings (and jewelery in general I might add). After Karen jumped back in the car, with her earrings, we were off to pick up Jana.

Jana was all dolled up and ready to go! She said in her Facebook status that afternoon and I quote, "Dear Pioneer Woman, I am

so excited to see you. I have put more effort into my hair, makeup, and clothes than when I am going out with my husband. And you're not even putting out. =o)" Jana is funny like that. Here is a picture of her after we arrived. . .cute, huh!?

After a quick stop for Advil and drinks ( the non-alcholic kind. . .lol) we were on our way to the Plaza. Not even the cold rain and threat of the first snow of the season could dampen our moods! My Google Maps directions were fail, but luckily I had 2 gals with me or navigated us exactly where we needed to go with 15 minutes to spare! We parked in the covered garage at Unity Temple and made our way inside where about 15-30 people were already in line waiting for the doors to open. Jana stood in line while we filled out our tickets for the door prizes and asked about where we could eat our picnic. We were told the lobby would be fine, but not the sanctuary. We were just glad we did not have to eat in the rain!

Maeghan, my daughter and Karen left Jana and I to save our seats while they went window shopping on the plaza for a bit. They missed the arrival of Marlboro Man(MM) and Ree's boys! I know, it is not in focus. . .but we were caught by surprise! One minutes all of us ladies (and a couple of men too!!) were waiting patiently for 7 pm to come so we could listen to Ree speak. . .then the next minute. . .MM comes in carrying a huge bag like it was a feather! The whole room was in a state of shock. I grabbed my camera as quick as I could (I had literally JUST put it away!) and snapped this picture. When MM came back in with another bag of shirts, you would have thought a major movie star was arriving on the red carpet with all of the flashbulbs going off! There were even a few cat calls!

At this point I might have been the only one who knew what he was carrying! I happened to be in Rainy Day Books earlier that day picking up our 3 copies of the cookbook when the owner, Vivian Jennings, called the store to announce that MM was giving every one who was at the evening event a Pioneer Woman t-shirt! They are so very cool, but I digress. (What else is new, right?)

I called Karen to tell her that if MM was there, then Ree was not far behind (she does like to follow his behind after all. . .) and that they should hurry back. After a few minutes we were all seated, with about 1000 other adoring fans eagerly awaiting the arrival of Ree.

Following a few minute introduction and instruction session, Vivian Jennings, brought out Ree and they sat in comfy ( well they looked comfy at least) chairs from Will Wyatt's Cowboy Couture. Vivian asked Ree questions that the audience that had been submitted a few minutes earlier. There was much laughter at some of the questions and even more laughter at some of Ree's answers. Ree even channeled Ethel Merman at the end. . .of course right after I turned off my video camera! ACK! Man those Drummond's know how to avoid having any photographic evidence! LOL!

The boys helped their mom with the door prizes. Here is how one of them helped. (click on the word helped) This picture was taken by MM himself! This next picture is almost the same exact picture, but from my perspective and taken with my crappy camera! One of these days I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a camera as nice as PW's!

I have video of the boys balancing the gift basket that had ceramic tea cups in them on their hands like they were walking a tight rope. . lol. The crowd was amused and I am sure that P-dub was mortified! So stinkin' cute! I was disappointed that none of my friends won a prize. BTW, what ever happened to the KitchenAide Mixer? There was supposed to be one in the drawing. I guess we should not complain, since we all got t-shirts, but I really wanted a bigger KitchenAide (and Jana wanted my older one! )

I bought one of my books over a month ago, so I had 2 tickets that were relatively low numbers, 155 and 156. So Jana and I were in the 4th group to go up and get our cookbooks signed. I went to the car and brought back the picnic basket and we has our dinner in the lobby while we were waiting for our turn. Maeghan and Karen's numbers were 509 and 541 I think, so they had a REALLY LONG wait. Actually we all did since we waited together.

While we waited we got to see:

Marlboro Man signing books
The boys 'rastling- a LOT ( reminded me of my boys without the boots!)
lots of cute little babies with headbands
April from Coal Creek Farm
1 other person on their laptops (we brought ours b/c we knew it would be a long night)
Ree greeting each person very sweetly. . .down to the very last one.

Here is a link to the rest of the pics. . .I do not know why they are not posting right. Karen's camera is better so she will have some more pics too. I am especially looking forward to seeing the one of April taking pictures. She looked like a giraffe trying to take a picture of a mouse! Right now I have to go be the mom and get my boys cleaned up and do some laundry. At least the laundry is easy with Purex 3 in 1 sheets!

Pioneer Woman is coming to town. . .

2009-11-15T12:11:00.002-06:00

. . .and we are going to meet her and get our cookbooks signed. We are extremely excited to go to the Girls Night Out Event at Unity Temple. I will be posting pictures tomorrow night or possibly on Tuesday. I am still deciding whether or not to let my 2 daughters come with me. The older one does not want the younger one to come and I (and the other ladies) do not want our evening to me ruined by squabbling children.

2009-11-05T21:58:00.002-06:00

I just came back from the viewing for a friends 19 year old son who took his life on Sunday. I just do not know how to process all of this. I wish I had the words to say to help this family deal with this profound loss that they are going through right now. There is no way I can understand what this family is going through. It has been tough on me recently and I have been so stressed that I have thought about ending it all. When I started thinking these thoughts I went to the doctor right away. Seeing what this family is going through makes my problems seem so small.

I am so blessed that I have such great friends who have helped me. I have taken a break from school until around the first of the year and I have been working with the doctors to see if we can figure out what is causing my migraines. Already the break from school has helped me to relieve some stress. Now if only I could find a job to help relieve some of the money stress that would be awesome! One thing at a time I guess.

Right now I am waiting for Cat and Zach to get home from opening night of the musical Honk. I think we will go see it on Saturday or Sunday.

The Lord is our Protector

2009-09-07T02:25:00.002-05:00

Do you believe that? I do, although many times I "forget" that I do.

Today, while I was in church, when the pastor gave us the scripture reference I flipped past a tattered tract that I keep in my bible as a reminder that "The Lord is Our Protector" (that is the title of the tract). The tract is a small slip of glossy paper about the size of a dollar bill. I remember when I got this I felt like God himself was speaking directly to my heart.

(I did not intend for this to be another "birth story", but it is. . .not graphic though. . .lol)

On a cold day in January 1997 I went into labor with Maeghan, my third child. My daughter Catherine was 5 and Zachary was 4. We dropped Catherine and Zachary off on the way to the hospital at a friends house. After arriving at the hospital and getting all checked in, we settled into the hospital excited about welcoming our newest Thomas into the world! I should have known that this delivery would not like first two were since the pregnancy was nothing like the first two. I did not have 1 day of being sick with the first two pregnancies, but with this third one I was sick for 6 months straight!

I was laying on my side all hooked up to monitors and the nurse left the room to check on other patients because I was only 3 centimeters along. My doctor was somewhere else in the hospital calling to cancel a procedure he had scheduled so that he could be available to deliver the baby. We all thought that the delivery would go quickly since my first two has gone fairly fast. Ralph was sitting in a chair next to the bed rubbing my arm when a contraction came on. I looked at him and said something like "It's time" or "the baby is coming". He kept stroking my arm and agreed, "I know she will be here soon" or something, to which I responded, "No, you don't understand. I mean NOW. Go get the nurse, the baby is coming!" He looked a little surprised, but was spurred into action by the grip I had on his arm because of the intense contraction!

The nurse walked into the room (way too slowly, lol!) and sweetly said to me (like I was a child who had not clue what I was saying) "So you think the baby is coming?"

DUH!!! Sometimes I wonder where they get these people!

"Well, lets check!" she said, unconvinced that I had a clue as to what I was talking about. After all she went to nursing school, I had only had 2 children already and was the one in LABOR! The nurse helped my turn very ungracefully onto my back so she could see how many centimeters dilated I was now.

This is when I wished I had a video camera for her reaction. She practically screamed, "There's the head"

You think? Maybe I do know what is going on with MY OWN BODY!!!!!

So the next several minutes were a flurry of activity that would have been comical if I was not in agonizing pain! There was no time for an epidural or any kind of pain medicine. Heck there was barely time for the doctor to put his surgical gloves on!

Maeghan was born after 1 push! I could tell right away that something was not right as the baby was taking over to the warmer. The doctor continued to work on me and was stitching me up as the pediatrician worked on Maeghan. A few minutes later Maeghan was taken to the NICU. I had never not been able to hold my baby right away. I wanted to run to be with her, but I could not since the doctor had to stitch me up (Maeghan was 9 pounds 9 ounces and I pused once, so there was a lot of tearing), so Ralph went to be with her in the NICU.

Turns out Maeghan had TTNB or Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn from being born too fast! Normally the fluid in the baby's lungs gets "squeeszed" out during delievery, but there was not enough time for that to happen with Maeghan. I was not allowed to get out of bed to go see Maeghan for what seemed like forever because I was not allowed to walk since I had just given birth.

I was not prepared for what I did see when I finally was wheeled into the NICU. Among all of the tiny preemie babies was Maeghan, who looked like the linebacker of the NICU- with a cake plate over her head (or at least that is what it looked like!) and iv's in her head and tubes in her nose and montitors hooked up all over her! Maeghan ended up staying in the NICU for several days getting antibiotics and breathing treatments and has no lasting effects from the TTNB.

Ok, all of that long story to tell you where I was in my life when I got this tract. It was the morning after Maeghan was born and I was alone in the hospital. Ralph was home with Catherine and Zachary and Maeghan was in the NICU. I did not have any family close. With my breakfast tray came a small paper folded in half. On the front was beautiful mountain scene reflected in a blue lake and the title "The Lord is Our Protector". I am sure that the hospital worker who put that tract there did not know about my story, but God did. He knew I was scared and He met me where I was. I opened up the tract and read it.

The Lord is Our Protector

I look to the hills!
Where will I find help?
It will come from the Lord,
Who Created the Heavens and the earth.

The Lord is your protector,
and he won't go to sleep or let you stumble
The protector of Israel doesn't doze or ever get drowsy.

The Lord is your protector,
there at your right side to shade you from the sun.
You won't be harmed by the sun during the day
or the moon at night.

The Lord will protect you
and keep you safe from all dangers.
The Lord will protect you
now and always wherever you go.

Psalm 121

WOW! I replaced the words "You" and "I" with "Maeghan" and prayed that prayer over and over. I felt like I could rest and let God take care of Maeghan, something I did NOT do the night before!

I have gone back to these words many times in the past 12 and a half years.

Just a year later when Maeghan literally almost died from a virus (that is another post!)
When Zach broke his leg
The time Chris needed stitches
The 4 (yes, 4!) times Robert needed stitches (all before his 3rd birthday!)
In the ambulance with Zach on our way to Children's Mercy when he was only 6 and had a severe kidney infection
In another ambulance with Robert who was spitting up blood after he fell
Driving to Maryland when my mother was dying
watching Wally die just six months later from the same disease
and so many many other times

Lord, I ask for your Protection right now for my family.

Protect Ralph, Catherine, Zachary, Maeghan, Christopher, and Robert from the flu that is causing them to be sick with fever and fatigue. Ease their coughing and cool their fevers.

I lift up Jana, Josh, Bailey and Charlee. Touch them right now Lord. Take the pain away from Jana. Calm the cough and allow them to rest peacefully.

Take away the vomiting from Jessi and protect the rest of her family from the virus, Lord.

Watch over everyone else who has come into contact with the germs from this virus and keep them well. Lord, Thank You for reminding me that YOU will protect me and my family.

Good Eats!

2009-09-02T13:23:00.001-05:00

I love cooking, but sometimes I am just too busy to cook like I should. Today was not one of those days! I started out the day by making an Apple and Pecan Crescent Tart. It was pretty good, I will make it better next time though since this was my first time experimenting with it. My "inspiration" for this dish was Cracker Barrel's baked apples. They are SO AMAZING! Since I had to go to the airport last week I made a side trip to Cracker Barrel since it is right next to the airport and the airport is an hour from my house! I brought home an order of baked apples, hash brown casserole and Sawmill gravy. Yeah. . .that is the stuff!

For lunch today I am having roasted veggies. I cut up zuchinni, onion, and potatoes and drizzled them with some olive oil and Zach's seasoning (he makes it himself and I don't even know exactly what is in it and the amounts!) Bake in a super hot oven and then eat. . .YUMMY! Very good for breakfast with a couple of over easy eggs on top!

I guess I better start thinking about dinner, huh?

16 years ago today…

2009-08-10T22:51:00.001-05:00

16 years ago today, my oldest daughter was born at Shady Grove Adventist hospital. I had gone early in the day with "pre-term" labor and was sent home to "rest" for a little bit before coming back to the hospital. While Ralph rested I ate some scrambled eggs and toast and called everyone to tell them I was having the baby! When the contractions got closer together we made our way back to the hospital. My parents were there, his parents were there, my sister, my brother and sister in law, my niece, our good friends and the god parents of Catherine (and the other 4 children that came after!), and Eric and Betsy were there. The labor was fairly easy, for the most part. At some point most of the people waited in the waiting room for news. The doctor assured us that there would be "hours" until the baby was delivered, so Ralph went to Red Lobster with Eric and Betsy. After all it was down the street only a few miles and he had his beeper on, so he could be reached if we needed him.

Sometime before he came back and after I had gotten my epidural, I started paging him because I was in a lot of pain. Not just pain with contractions mind you . . . but constant pain! The anestisiaologis told me it was because I had a "window" where the epidural could not get to. Great, I thought the epidural was supposed to help the pain, not make it worse! Since Ralph was not back yet and had not answered my pages (and there were MULTIPLE pages!), I had my mom come in with me when I had to start pushing. I pushed for days until Ralph finally arrived! Okay, really, it was about 20 minutes, but it seemed like days!

Apparently Ralph, Eric and Betsy were enjoying a leisurely dinner confidant in the knowledge that I would page them if I needed them. This was before cell phones were EVERYWHERE, folks. So, they figured no news was good news! When they were leaving the restaurant and Ralph went to see what time it was, he noticed the missed pages and they rushed back to the hospital.

So I had Ralph on one side and my mom on one side and I pushed for about 30 or so minutes more. I still had constant pain. The anestisiologis tried to compensate by pushing the epidural, but it did not work, I still had constant pain on one side. Finally, Catherine Elizabeth Thomas was born! I was so excited and could not take my eyes off of her- what a miracle! And what a relief to have her out! You moms all know what I mean! So while the doctor did his "stuff", I enjoyed my daughter! At some point, Ralph went out to the waiting room to tell everyone the good news.

One thing you need to know is I have negative RH factor, which means the placenta needs to be checked to see if the baby also has it. It is not a big deal, but something that needs to be taken care of, especially if I wanted to have any more babies. So the doctor made sure to get the placenta to the lab for testing.

So, while I am in the room with Catherine and my mom, Ralph is in the waiting room telling my family and friends about our daughter being born. As they are ALL there listening to Ralph, an orderly comes out to the nurses' station and PLOPS a Ziploc bag with my placenta in it and very loudly says, "This is the Thomas Placenta that needs to be taken to the lab for testing immediately!" You can only imagine the reaction of my whole family, it is probably the same one you are having right now! Let's face it, we woman want to keep our placentas private!

So after the shock of seeing more than they ever wanted to see, my family and friends came into my room and met Catherine. We spent about an hour or so talking and enjoying each other's company. Then everyone went home. Ralph went to the nursery with Catherine while she got some shots and tests, normal newborn stuff. When he came back to my delivery room it was time to transfer me to the recovery room. The nurse, who was about 75 pounds soaking wet, asks me if I can get into the wheelchair from the hospital bed. Good grief, that is easy I thought! So of course, I told her sure!

Little did any of us realize the implications of all of that extra epidural I was given. . .

So, here is the scene, just so you are clear about it. There is Ralph, who is over 6 feet tall and over 250 pounds and a nurse who was probably about 1/3 my size standing on either side of the wheelchair waiting to help me from the hospital bed to the chair. So here I am on the edge of the bed and let's just say I was not tiny (we do not need to get into numbers here do we?) and I had just given birth less than 3 hours before. I slowly slid to the side of the hospital bed being careful not to flash anyone since I had a hospital gown on. As I try to put my feet on the ground to basically stand up and turn around into the waiting wheelchair, I do not realize that I had NO FEELING in my right leg because of the epidural! So what happens? You guessed it! My right foot hit the ground first and just buckled under me because I could not feel it! But, do I fall to the ground like a normal person? Ha! No way! On the way to the ground my lovely, fashionable mesh underwear that I was given in the hospital gets stuck on the side of the hospital bed! I am literally hanging about 2 inches off of the ground! Ralph tries to help me by ripping the panties off of the bed, and I fall the remaining 2 inches to the floor. The tiny little, slip of a nurse was totally useless to help me, so Ralph came up in front of me to try to help me stand up. Squatting down and putting his arms under mine, he wrapped his arms around me and told me he was going to stand up. As we stood up I told Ralph I did not feel well. He said that was okay and continued to stand up with me.

Then I fainted! Yep, that's right, as my poor husband was squatting down helping me up; I became DEAD WEIGHT and caused him to fall back into the wheelchair. Ralph broke my fall, but he fell right into the wheelchair. Knocking it backward with a very loud crash. I remember waking up on the floor and shaking uncontrollably. I looked around and saw Ralph on the ground, the nurse looking like a deer in headlights and several other hospital personnel standing at the door (they had come running when they heard the noise). One of the people standing at the door was the anesthesiologist who gave me so much epidural and I just looked at him and said, "Well, you did a good job!" I had to be picked up and put back in the hospital bed. Needless to say, I stayed in the bed and was wheeled to the recovery room!

I called my mom to come back up to the hospital and Ralph went to the ER. He stayed in my room that night on a cot.

2009-08-02T16:51:00.001-05:00

I am always looking for other moms on the web who are interested in the same things I am. . .found another today. . .Take a look at The Dirty T-shirt for yourself!

Confession(s)

2009-07-30T11:48:00.001-05:00

Ok, so my first confession is that in the time it took me to open up Microsoft Word, type the title "Confession(s)", and start writing this blog entry I forgot what confession I was going to blog about! That could be partly because I was distracted by: My husband coming into the kitchen opening up the fridge and asking why no on ate the chicken yet (and then proceeding to heat it up for his breakfast lunch), my youngest son coming into the kitchen and asking if he could have the rest of the pancakes I had just finished making, my oldest daughter coming into the kitchen and asking me where all the pancakes were (to which I replied, "In the container, just add water and mix!"), then other son coming into the kitchen asking if he could watch the Redbox movie we rented for free last night from Hy-Vee, my daughter responding to my husband who noticed her "Debate" t-shirt (it is NOT hers, it is a friends) "I am not on Debate! Debate ruins your life! You have to do Debate every weekend. . .(insert more debate bashing/ranting here)" to which I replied, "That's different from Drama, how?", and no less than 25 other interruptions. . .what I was talking about again?

Wow, I think that I would fail English is I wrote a run on sentence like that in a paper! But that is what my life it, a long run on sentence, filled with "rabbit-trails" and interruptions! No wonder I am always staying up until 2 am finishing school work! Right now the oldest is asking to be taken out for driving and parking practice. Like I can do that right now with 4 assignments due to day (ok, 2 are due tomorrow, but they are bigger assignments that I need to work on today), children that need to be fed, a house that needs to be cleaned, laundry that needs to be washed, dried, folded, and put away (like that ever happens!), dinner that needs to be taken care of (what do I get out of the freezer and make that will make "most" of the family happy), go to the school to help my PTA Wife run off some copies, clean out the sunroom, clean out the fridge (I am sure there is a science experiment in there somewhere. . . ), feed the kids lunch…maybe parking practice with a moody teenager in a FULL SIZE van would be relaxing. . .

Confession number two: I still don't remember what confession I was going to write about. . .

Confession number three: I need a nap now. . .

What I want to be when I grow up. . .

2009-07-29T00:36:00.001-05:00

So, I was thinking today about what I want to be when I grow up, and I realized that there is a lot I want to be when I grow up. I was catching up with a friend I had not seen in awhile (they were over our house for dinner a week ago) and she encouraged me to write a cook book. She said that she and her family have been talking about how good the food that we made for our dinner together. Cooking is definitely a passion of mine. Some people, who shall remain nameless (Wuzza), HATE to cook and only do it out of necessity because their families want to eat. Me, on the other hand, I LOVE cooking and baking! I seriously could cook every day. . .if only someone else would clean up for me that is! Not cleaning the mess I make while cooking, that I can handle. My problem is the mess the "fam" makes every day. Cooking is great, but finding the room to cook around all of the mess- that I HATE with a passion! It is annoying to want to come make dinner and have to clean off the counters, load dirty dishes (and probably unload clean ones too!), and wash pots and pans BEFORE I can even cook anything. So, sometimes, even though I love cooking I don't because I don't feel like fighting the mess. Or, more often than not, I am too busy to clean the kitchen and THEN cook dinner. Maybe it is time to go back to a chore chart for the "fam". I am sure they would hate that, but that's life, right?!

I used to cook sit-down dinners every night, back when my father in law lived with us. I felt like he deserved a sit-down, family meal with a main entrée, a vegetable and another side (usually a starch). He was not really a demanding person, but he was "old school" and had certain ideas. Family dinners was one thing that he seemed pleased about, so we had family dinners almost every night, unless I was sick. Very rarely were the meals convenience foods, either. Most of the time they were good ole, homemade meals. My father in law lived with us for about 4 years- that is a LOT of dinners! I think after he passed away I needed a break and we went through a period of convenience meals and many nights of no real dinner plans at all! Now I have come back around to making more family dinners, although now with the kids being older it is hard to figure out when everyone will be home!

I have some standard recipe favorites that I make on a regular basis like: Chicken Splot Pie, Tacos, Spaghetti, Hamburgers, Stir Fry, Black Beans and Rice, Chicken and dumplings, Garlic Studded Pork. . .and others. And of course the standard desserts like Cheesecake (baked and no baked), Homemade Chocolate Cake, Oatmeal Choc. Chip Cookies, brownies, and Jell-O Cake. My kids think that I should try to become the "Next Food Network Star". . .but I am not sure if I could do that. I don't really have any formal culinary training. The closest I ever go was to send in a tape to the Rachel Ray show for her "So You think You can Cook" competition. I never heard back from her about that. . . Here is the link to the video.

Anyway, I have always thought about doing a cook book. Not just a book with recipes, but also with stories about the recipes and tips for the kitchen as well. Maybe I should just start writing one in my "free" time? I mean, it is not going to write itself, is it?

Other things I want to be when I grow up-

Writer (not just cook books, but humorous non-fiction and maybe even a novel or two!)
Bed and Breakfast owner (except I hate mornings so I would probably make it a Bed and Brunch. Who goes away for the night or weekend and wakes up at 7 am to eat breakfast?)
Restaurant owner (not that restaurants don't have a high failure rate or anything. . .)
Personal Chef
Personal Shopper (grocery mainly
Teacher (that is actually what I am going to college for. . .because I love working with kids and helping them learn!)

Visiting family

2009-03-21T21:08:00.002-05:00

I booked my flight last night to go back to Maryland and visit the "fam". I will be staying for a week. During that week I will help my dad go through my moms stuff and clear stuff out. I think he wanted me to have an opportunity to look through her things. . .esp her jewelery. It will be nice to see family too. And of course I will visit my moms grave. I have not seen it with the headstone. It is hard to believe that it has been over 2 years since she passed. I still want to pick up the phone and call her. I am also trying to figure out if I will be taking a break next semester or not. We will see. . . right now I have to work on a paper that is due tomorrow. Oh joy!

Friday night. . .

2009-03-20T22:22:00.003-05:00

Well, it is Friday night and I am doing what I seem to be doing every night, trying to catch up! That is the story of my life lately. I have had a migraine all week and finally got rid of it. . but the meds made me extremly tired! Ugh. I still need to write the introduction and conclusions to my research paper on technology in the classroom. I can not seem to get anything done recently! Oh well...I really must go write now. . .too bad I don't have technology that can do it for me!

Cooking. . .lots of cooking!

2009-03-16T18:59:00.003-05:00

Well, I did a lot of cooking today since I had to make a couple of Chicken Splot Pies for people. One for my best friends family whose lost a beloved Grandpa, one for a friend of a friend who lost a beloved son (way way too soon!), and of course I made one for us and one for Karen because I can't make Chicken Splot Pie and not give her one! I also had an 8 and a half pound Pork Roast, so I cut off 12 chops and froze them in a Balsamic marinade and garlic studded the rest of the roast.

For dinner tonight we had Garlic Studded Pork Roast with baked beans and rolls. Most of the kids made sandwhicheds with the roast and rolls.

I think I might run away now. . .I can't even finish typing because the kids keep coming inside (they are out playing football in the nice weather) and complaining about EVERYTHING! UGH! Is it any wonder I can't think straight?

Oh well, cooking reminds me of my mom. And it was also a small thing I could do to help those around me. Since I can't bring back my friends loved ones, I can give them some small comfort in their time of need. It is what my mom would have done too. . .

Random stuff

2009-03-16T01:56:00.002-05:00

Well it is almost 2 am, and I should be in bed, but I am enjoying the quiet- a rarity around my house! I am not, however enjoying the fact(s) that I am itching like crazy again (cuz I forgot to take my allergy meds yesterday), my house is a mess, my dishwasher is broken (agian!), I can not find a job that I can do while the kids are in school, and that my number 1 key keeps popping off of my laptop!

I am up so late (early) because I had an assignment that was due for school 2 days ago (there goes my 1 key again) so I had to finish it. There was also an assignment due today that I will have to do tomorrow cuz I was working on the one due 2 days ago! LOL. Why did I ever think that I could do this college thing againg with all the other things i have going on in my life? I an getting zero suppor/help from my family and truth be told I am going to call my advisor this week and just tell her that I can not continue after this semester because I am too stressed and also because I need to find a job. The phone is ringin off the hook from 8 am until 9 pm. UGH!111111 (key again!!). I am not a quiter, but I just can not continue on this way, I am so stressed right now. I suspect that may be why i am getting hives. I don't know, but it could be.

Between the one car for 7 people, the college courses, the bills that are due, the house that is always a WRECK, the obligations at the school (volunteering), and the gazillion other things i have going on, I am wiped out all the time! When is it going to be time to focus on me. . .probably never, so I should just get used to it and stop trying!

I have never inhaled. . .

2009-02-04T22:53:00.001-06:00

Someone asked the other day why no one cared about Michael Phelps smoking pot. Well, that is an interesting question. I actually do care. Yes, I do care. Everyone says that he is just a kid and it was a mistake. Okay, I get that, really I do. But, lets me serious, not everyone has inhaled. People say that "everyone" has tried drugs or alcohol. Well, I am here to say that is NOT true. I have never ever inhaled or even touched the nasty evil stuff! Drugs are just stupid and there is no redeeming factors about them. . .at all! Alcohol is a different story, since it is legal. I don't have a problem with people who have a drink now or then. I personally just do not drink. I did try one drink on my 21^st birthday though. . .just did not like it. Don't like the smell or the taste.

My problem with the Phelps thing is this, he is not a young teenager. He is 23 years old, he is old enough to know better. He knows that he has a TON of kids who look up to him. I think his apology was lame. Dude, you have worked so hard for what you have gotten and you awe gonna throw it away so you can get high!? What the heck were you thinking! Was winning so many gold medals not high enough? Really! Give me a break. Grow up already. I have a feeling Phelps mom kicked his ass when she saw him after she found out though. . .she seems like the type who would do that!

FYI to my kids. I will kick your asses if you EVER try to do the same crap. Just don't even start it. . .EVER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! There is NOTHING COOL at all about it! Find other ways to get your "kicks", please!

and the Craziness continues!!!!!!

2009-01-25T21:15:00.004-06:00

Here is a random pic of Catherine's 15th bday party. Just had to post it.. .lol

Right now my head is stinging from the Ovide lotion (although it is more like a liquid really...) that I applied to my head a few minutes ago. If you do not know what it is used for...well, I will just say it, it is used to KILL LICE (and I really hope that it works and kills those nasty buggers! All 5 of my children and myself have had those nasty little things and come on now, after almost 2 weeks. . . I am SO OVER it already! Mix in one child with strep, 2 college courses with work that needs to be done (it does not matter that I have to pick lice and nits out of every one's head, including my own!), physical therapy for my knee and back, normal household chores as well as extra with all of the sanitizing of bedding, clothes, couches, carpets. . .you see where I am going, right? and yes, the craziness does indeed continue.

I am trying to play catch up on my school work and for the most part that is going OK. One of my instructors is not being cooperative though, but what can you do, right? I am really enjoying the courses I am taking and until this "speed bump" I was doing well. But of course with the lice making their appearance I have gotten way behind in EVERYTHING (I mean WAY more than normal, people!)I just do not have any extra time at all to do anything. As a matter of fact, right now I should be doing: laundry, dishes, cutting and organizing my coupons, planning my weeks meals, school work for the week, PTA stuff, faxing receipts to our health insurance so we can actually USE our medical credit card (would have come in handy on the 100's of dollars that has been spent on killing lice), taking out trash, doing the exercises my physical therapist gave me, going to bed (ha ha, yeah right. . .can't do that until all of the kids go to sleep. . .I could go on and on here really. But I am writing this blog post instead, because maybe someone else will read it and not feel so bad about that CRAZINESS that is going on in their life at the moment. Also it feels good to be able to get it all out of my head.

Testing

2009-01-25T21:00:00.001-06:00

Testing Microsoft Word Blog Creation

2009-01-15T22:34:00.001-06:00

So, I saw my good friend Karen using Microsoft Word to create a blog post and I thought I would try it. . .you know since it has been a LONG time since I have posted anything on my blog! So here goes.

I have had a very crazy few weeks. . .but what else it new around here, right? I have been taking online college courses since September and for the most part, I LOVE it. I am still learning how to make ME a priority. I am so used to making everyone else a priority, but the fact that I am even taking classes is a step in the right direction I think. So in addition to my college I also have my PTA obligations, my kids, the house, etc. Needless to say, my life if very busy. Over the Christmas break I told myself I was going to "get ahead" in my college work since I get my assignments at the beginning of each course. Well, of course, I did not even touch any work over the "break"; I just relaxed and spent time with the kids (and tried not to lose my mind!). The first week back after break I had a PTA meeting on Thursday. Monday-Wednesday I was pretty much out with a monster migraine. I mean, I was in bed and feeling like I was going to throw up it was so bad! So Thursday's meeting came around and since it was the first one after vacation we did not have a whole lot on the agenda. The meeting was fairly short and the next day we were going to hand out treasure to the kids who brought "Trash 2 Cash" items.

Friday morning my oldest daughter knocks on my bedroom door, waking me up. She and her brother are old enough to get themselves up and ready, so I do not get up to see them off to school. When I open the door she tells me she found a "bug" in her hair. I asked her to show me and she said that she threw it. So I checked her hair and did not find anything. Of course I was barely awake though! So I told her to go to the nurse's office when she got to school. Since it was almost time for me to get up, I turned off my alarm and got dressed. Then I woke up the other kids and started getting them all ready for school. Right after all of the other 3 kids were gone on the school bus, I got a call from the school. It was lice and I had to come pick her up. WHAT! YUCK!!!! So I called the other kids schools. . .all 3 of them to inform them and have the other 4 kids checked. Then I went to pick up the one who had a confirmed case of lice. On the way I got a call from one school saying yes it was lice and another saying no he is fine. So I stopped at the last school, the one I was supposed to be at anyway, to see if the kids had been checked yet. School had not started yet, so they were just getting checked. One had it, one did not. So I took the one with it with me and then picked up the other one with it. And so began the LONG week. I am so tired of picking at kid's hair I cannot even begin to explain! And I am very, very behind in my school work, which I should be doing now as a matter of fact. But I am very tired. This evening I went to Water Zumba class and then spent another 2 hours at the pool with the kids. I was not swimming after the class though, I was looking for a place to plug in my laptop so I could do some work. Then I got sidetracked talking to people from church. The church we have not been too in like 3 months or something. But that is a blog for another day. Right now it is time to go to bed. I just heard the timer on the washer so I can put the clothes in the dryer and go to sleep. Maybe one day the kids will actually remember before their bedtime that they HAVE to have clothes washed for school. Yeah, right! I can dream can't I?! I love this pic and I just wanted to see if I could insert a picture using this application. . .LOL

Reflection

2008-09-14T00:41:00.003-05:00

Wow. One year ago tomorrow my FIL passed away. I still can't believe it. It was such a surprise when he fell and then when they found the cancer. It was only a month from his fall until his death. So much changed in that short. . . and long. . .month! I really had not fully processed my mothers death, actually I am not really sure if I have now, almost 2 years later!

I still feel tremendously guilty about starting to work at the school last year. It seems like right after I started the you know what hit the fan! I mean literally, I got the call about his fall while I was at the first staff meeting for the school. I still seem to be filled with fear when I think about it. I am very reluctant to actually take another job too for fear something similar will happen. Not that I am just over-run with a lot of "extra" free time or anything. I am over-run with a LOT of bills though. . .amazing how everyone wants their money at the same time. . .lol!

I am sure that I need to talk to someone and try to move past this, but I just don't have the desire or the time!

Apparently I am SASSY!

2008-09-02T22:20:00.002-05:00

Apparently I am Sassy now that I got my hair cut! Who knew? I am just glad to not have to take care of that head of hair anymore!

Today was a pretty good day - I actually got some things accomplished. PTA meeting tonight went pretty well too. Now I have to plan the agenda for Thursdays meeting for the other school! And figure out what I am going to make as a treat for the meeting. Maybe my homemade oatmeal cookies- those could be made ahead of time and will still be good.

There is still a LOT I need to do around here and at the schools too though. Never seems like there is enough time to do it all. I am busy busy busy. Now if I could only find a way to still do all of this and get paid! Maybe one of these days!

I found out that one of my fellow PTA board members and friend is going to move to California at the end of the school year. Her husband is in the Army and is being deployed to Iraq in about a month. They decided to not move until school was out for their kids- so they could finish the year at least. I know she is going to have a hard time with her husband being depolyed and still trying to take care of her family. She has also had a bad year health wise too. I will have to do what I can to help her and her family cope with the changes they are facing.

Well, time for me to do some PTA stuff before I check the WOOT and then go to bed.

I need to blog more. . .

2008-09-02T00:42:00.002-05:00

Maybe now that I have a laptop I should blog more. I will try. . .

Well, I have been feeling pretty crappy lately. Migraines, aches, stomach stuff. YUCK!! I need to try to figure out what the heck is going on. But I seem to be too busy to do that! UGH!

today one of my neighbors brought home my youngest son and told me that he was seen with a rock in his hand at an abandoned house in the neighborhood and that there had been lots of kids vandalizing stuff recently around there. WHAT! He is 7! Boy is he in MAJOR trouble! He says he did not throw any rocks, that his friend "knocked" it out of his hand. HMM, not really buying that. Not buying that he the one doing all the vandalizing either! He will be under lock and key for awhile, I can tell you that!

I have a lot of stuff to do around the house and at both schools that I volunteer at. Tomorrow I think I will focus on the house, especially folding and putting away the baskets of clothes in my room as well as getting my old regular computer hooked back up so the printer can be used. The back up battery went haywire or something.

I can't believe that it has been a year almost since Wally died. It seems so long ago. And my mom died a few months before that. I wish I could just talk to her again, and I know that my sister would LOVE that too. she is having her first baby soon.

Life is busy. . .good, but busy

2008-08-24T23:02:00.003-05:00

Well tomorrow will be the start of the first full week of school. We are still tying to get into a "groove". The kids are not going to bed on time, which means I do not get to bed ontime. Then of course there was the Olympics and as always. . .WOOT and WOOT-TV!! Last Monday was back to school night and we had a picnic sponsored by PTA where we had 100 pizzas. It was crazy busy, but it seemed to go well. Not this coming week, but the week after on September 4th will be our first PTA meeting. So far we have had a good number of parents volunteer or express interest in joining PTA. . .this is awesome news. Most importantly we had someone say she would take over the newsletter! YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!!

I have been busy with PTA stuff and have also done some stuff on the house, although I have a LOT more to do.

Ralph bought me a laptop, which I am on now! YEAH! How sweet is that! Now I can do what I need to on the go! YEAH!

Well, prob time for me to check the laundry and get ready for bed since I have to be at the school early tomorrow for making copies and helping with speech screenings.

Walking with Dinos 1 video of 5 (I think)

2008-06-05T00:31:00.002-05:00

Taken with my phone, so quality not the greatest

Weight Watchers

2008-04-18T23:45:00.002-05:00

I started Weight Watchers last week, and I am both excited and terrified about it! I am so looking forward to the reward of loosing all the weight I need too, but I am not looking forward to the work. So far it has not been too much work though. I am doing well on the Flex Plan. I lost 2.2 pounds my first week on WW. Well, I have to get up early to go choose RIF books, so time for me to go to bed. . .

Been a long long long time

2008-04-18T10:08:00.003-05:00

When someone asked for my blog address today, I realized that it has been way too long since I updated this! I have been SUPER busy lately. Story of my life I know. Right now I have a son who is home sick with Asmatic Bronchitis who also happens to have a broken leg. His cast comes off on April 30. . .I can't wait and I am sure that he can't either! He is being great about it all, but honestly it makes more work for me and I if I am at the school doing PTA stuff I have to make sure to be home to make his something to eat etc. That is only this week since he has been home sick, normally he is at school and I just need to take him and pick him up.

As always, I have a TON of stuff going on in PTA land. The 3rd and 4th grade breakfast is Monday and I am still calling parents to get them to make things for it and coordinating everyting. A couple of the other kids are not feeling well either, so just seems like I am doing a lot more juggling this week. This next month is going to be SO busy with the breakfast, then RIF, then Grandparents Day, and the carnival, and yearbooks need to come in and be passed out and of course the ever present Trash 2 Cash races. If you do not know what that is, here is a link. We are winding down for the year and still have a TON of items coming in. We have submitted Box Tops for Education several times, but still have to count Campbell's Labels for Education, Tyson Labels, Best Choice and Nestle labels. Makes me tired just thinking of it. Box Tops makes it so EASY to submit items. The other companies have annoying requirements. I think we will be dropping Tyson next year. We do not get enough of them and we need to submit 1000 I think before they will send anything! The kids love it though, and hopefully next year we will have more help so it is not just me and Jana doing it ALL!

Well, off to buy a birthday gift for a party tonight. More updating later. . .

Update

2007-09-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

what is happening now. . .

The Worst Barbie Commercial Ever!!!

2007-08-26T00:42:00.001-05:00

OMG. . .that is just funny!

YO! GABBA GABBA

2007-08-18T22:45:00.001-05:00

oh my ga!

Update...

2007-08-16T23:17:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been a bit since I have updated this blog so here goes. . .here is whats going on in my life. . .in no particular order. . . . .

Lee Taylor died this past week after a LONG battle with the same cancer my mother died from 6 months ago, I attended his memorial last night
I started a new job with my youngest 2 kids school
This past Sunday we hosted a pool party for all 5 of my kids friends and families at our local pool. Lots of food and CAKE and then like a TOTAL IDIOT, I let 6 EXTRA children sleep over at my house! They stayed up past 4 am, I had to be up for work at 6 am.
The lifeguards at the pool party saw lightening. . .so they removed everyone for the last hour of the rented time. So we were still there eating and talking but not swimming and since we got kicked out because of weather I get half of my money back! SWEET!
I have been running around trying to price things, solicit donations and generally plan a lot of things for Back to School night and school in general
My FIL fell the other evening and has been in the hospital . . .they believe he has cancer of the upper spine. He will be 85 next month
I found out one of my duties at the school, in addition to watching over recess and lunch is the change the sign out in front of the school. (IT IS REALLY REALLY HOT here. . .so I created a paper template and I do most of the work INSIDE where the AC is, then spend about 5 minutes putting up BOTH sides when I am outside. . .Work smarter. . .not harder I say. . .LOL)
Who knew getting hired at a school meant so much paper work. . .background checks, finger prints. . .but , oddly enough I never had to pee in a cup. . .
I kicked my kids off of my computer. . .they kept infecting it with spy wear! Now they have to use our "old" ones . . .poor babies. . .NOT!
I just finished cleaning up my room somewhat. . .now the door will stay locked so the kids cant make a mess of it!
For the sleep over Sunday I dragged a king size mattress up the stairs with a little help from my son and his friend
Our basement and garage and some of my FIL's bathroom leaked. . .argh! But our insurance responded quickly!
I got my second of 5 shots in my knee for OA. . .OUCH! It only lasts about 5 to 10 seconds. . .but it feels like he hits the bone. . .yikes!
So much more. . .but I am tired. . .and I have another meeting tomorrow and hopefully my FIL will come home tomorrow too. . .LOTS to do still. . .

You know your a parents when. . .

2007-08-05T23:13:00.000-05:00

You go to pour yourself a bowl of cereal (because it is the ONLY sweet thing left in the house. . .) and you find that someone has taken all of the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box! But you find that there are no more unopened boxes so you pour your bowl and grab the milk. . .there is enough left for a spoonful maybe! Welcome to parenthood. . . Maybe I should skip the snack and log onto my computer. . .But wait. . .my almost 14 year old daughter is on my computer because the other 3 computers we have in the house. . .(in her words) SUCK! My younger two boys are still finding excuses to be out of bed, even though I put them to bed over an hour and a half ago. One wanted help lacing his new Chuck Taylors (thanks to TAX FREE weekend and an insurance check. . .) while the other complained of bleeding. (Nevermind the fact that he is squeezing an old cut to make it bleed. . .)AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, parenthood! Why did I want to do this again? I know I complain a lot, but it is not all bad. I just can't seem to think of anything good right now! I guess I am not in the right frame of mind. Too much to do before school starts, and being the PTA president I am responsible for a lot of it. Like making a bulletin board for the front hallway. Does not sound too bad, right? well, I have to do that as well as getting kids ready, going to orientation for the job at the school that I accepted (yippee!!!!!), writing the newsletter, planning the first PTA meeting, writing the newsletter, getting ready for Back to school night, and so much more I can't even remember. . .and all I want to do is go to bed with my husband. . .if only those dang kids would go to sleep already!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

2007-07-24T12:01:00.001-05:00

WOW, WOW, WOW!

America's Got Talent (Chicago) - Cas Haley

2007-07-16T09:28:00.001-05:00

Re-post. . .it disappeared. . .

NEW America's Got Talent © Veniamin's Eyes AGT tape Audition

2007-07-15T20:07:00.001-05:00

OMG. . .this is just too weird!

America's Got Talent (Chicago) - Cas Haley

2007-07-15T20:05:00.001-05:00

This guy rocks! He is awsome!

America's Got Talent (Chicago) - Boy Shakira

2007-07-15T20:04:00.001-05:00

WTF!!!

AWESOME SITE

2007-06-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

This website was set up by someone to update Lee's friends and church family about his progress with Lung/Brain cancer. It is hard to see him and not think of my mom. Not just because of the same nasty evil cancer that they have in common, but also the way they continue to count it all joy. Their strength is a testament to their faith. . .I only hope I can live as they have.

2007-05-12T07:32:00.000-05:00

Well, 2 of my kiddos have strep. . .again. Came home from a marriage conference last night, after having gotten several calls from one of the sick children, then went out to my local 24 hour CVS. Only to find out that even though I had a prescription filled there that very afternoon, as well as 2 others this week, they no longer participate in our prescription plan. WHAT??? The medicine was not that pricey, only $25, so I just payed it. There were several other people waiting and only one person working and it was after midnight and my husband and I are due back at the conference at 8:30. I will try to figure out the insurance craziness later. So I got the medicine, came home gave it to the child who needed it, checked my email, and went to bed. . .then got up early on a SATURDAY no less! I hate getting up early on a Saturday. It is the ONLY day until summer that I can sleep in.

Our school district finally decided to change the last day of school back from June 5 to the origional date of May 31. I am very happy about that as are my kids. Not much has to be moved around at this point but it will mean a little more stress at the end of the school year though.

Well, time to leave for the conference. . .more about that later. . .

More flooding

2007-05-10T02:59:00.001-05:00

Time for an update!

2007-05-07T23:22:00.000-05:00

Been awhile since I updated here, so here goes. . .
I am watching Law and Order Criminal Intent on my computer while writing this, gotta love the computer where I can have 2 windows open at the same time! I am making my way. . .albeit slowly. . .through Law and Order, starting with Criminal Intent. I like them all though! Love the Blockbuster Total Access! We take full advantage of it too! When I finish a DVD of Criminal Intent, I run up to Blockbuster to get one for the kids. Works great. So I get the most bang for my buck so to speak. Okay, okay, so much for my plugging Total Access.

This week has been kind of crazy. I was very busy this week with stuff at school. The rest of the year will probobly be very busy too. Just about a month ago in fact. Can't wait until I don't have to get up so early! I am considering applying for a job next year at the elementary school. It would be part time and would be at the school so that hours would work. That would be nice.

Mother's Day is coming up. . .not looking forward to that day. The first without my mom. I need to do something for my mother in law, but I am not sure what to do. The online cancer support group I belong to is ending for a few weeks to a month. Then it will start again. I am going to miss it. it is very helpful to be able to talk to people who have been there. This particular group has a lot of people who have lost loved ones to lung cancer. The man at our church who has lung cancer fell this past week and is having a hard time. That is what was the turning point for my mother. She fell while going into church on a Wednesday night. She went downhill after that.

I spent the weekend in bed with a migrain, well as much as I can with a house full of people! What fun! It was worse today. I spent the whole morning and part of the afternoon in bed today. I did manage to make dinner and do some laundry. Right now I am waiting for my Tylenol PM to kick in . . .finally the kids are asleep! I can't go to sleep until they are all in bed and asleep. Well, I better go to bed since I am getting really sleepy, finally! Hopefully I will be able to get up on time tomorrow!

my backyard

2007-05-07T08:50:00.000-05:00

picture of my mom

2007-04-26T07:35:00.000-05:00

How pathetic am I. . .

2007-04-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

What does it say about me when the high point of my day was when I narrowly beat out a fumbling first time dad at the Saturday Clinic by getting my paper work filled out before him. . .even though he came in before me! Lets start at the beginning. . .After going to the Deanna Rose Farmstead for a kindergarten field trip where I chaperoned yesterday and then today I went downtown to pick up over 350 books for RIF. I was home for just about an hour so I downloaded pics from the digital camera of the field trip to the computer then uploaded them to Wal-mart.com to put in the scrapbook. Got lunch in the oven, ate it really quickly then ran out the door to take the pound cake to the church for the ladies spa afternoon. Pound cake that I bought by the way. After being at the farm all day and on my feet the WHOLE time since Robert's teacher is due to have a baby in 2 weeks and we all tried to make her rest as much as possible. When I got home yesterday and was SO TIRED and still had to make dinner I decided to just make the roast chicken I had gotten out of the freezer before I left and a vegetable to go with it. Only problem was I was out of veggies. . .ugh. Since I did have tomatoes and some of the great mozzarella cheese in olive oil and seasonings I decided that is what we would have with it. Normally we have a starch also but I was too tired to worry about it. Well, all of that boring stuff just to say I was way too tired to make homemade pound cakes so I bought them. So besides all this my son says, in a very crackly voice no less, that his throat is hurting. The only night clinic open was Children's Mercy and if you remember the social worker story. . .you KNOW I am not going there unless one of my kids is dying! So I told him I would wait until today to go.

So I dropped off the store bought pound cakes, came home and picked up Chris and we went to the Saturday clinic at our doctors office. About a 20 minute drive each way. And on a Saturday it normally a HUGE wait! Believe me I have 5 kids, I know about waiting in doctors offices to see doctors. . .and waiting. . .and waiting. . .and well. . .waiting! And having 5 kids who always seem to need stitches or have sore throats or twist something AFTER hours I am familiar with the night and Saturday clinic procedures. So I came in prepared with my insurance card out and ready (even though they have enough copies of it by now to save the rain forest) and my medical credit card in the other. With nimble fingers I wrote down my child's name, DOB, insurance company and reason for visit on the form before the receptionist could even greet me. Just as quick I grabbed a clip board to fill in the form required for Urgent care visits. With amusement I looked over at a man, who was by himself with a tiny baby in an infant seat. He was fumbling with the diaper bag and the clip board, looking for the insurance card presumably. Amateur. . . I sat down just long enough to finish the form and then I was up and handing it to the receptionist before the man even started! I got some kind of perverse pleasure out of knowing that my son would be seen before this poor first time dad. How sat is my life! So about 30 minutes later when with a script in hand for an antibiotic for my sons strep. . .we were on the road.

Laughing so hard!

2007-04-19T23:39:00.000-05:00

"We shared an almond croissant, and Mommy had a delicious and much-needed cappucino, and we played the world's longest game of 'Got Yer Hat!", the adorableness of which undoubtedly made the other patrons grow a new ovary, or else frow up in their mouths a widdle." Oh, my gosh! Betsy you are so funny!

Tickle me Elmo TMX. . .

2007-04-19T23:08:00.001-05:00

My cute little neice "tickling" her new Elmo. . .and my first You Tube blog video!

Easter Pictures. . . .

2007-04-15T23:13:00.000-05:00

These cuties are my neice (getting a loving pinch from Grandpa!) and her new baby brother, Maeson!

SNOW!!!!

2007-04-14T11:27:00.000-05:00

Well, it snowed last night. . .on Friday the 13th! TOO weird, we had measureable snow here yesterday! During the kids spring break for God's Sake! After raining all day, it started snowing around 7pm. Needless to say the kids thought it was cool! I think most of it will melt today though. We will see. . .

My week has been pretty much uneventful. . .save water balloons being popped in the living room and kids hopped up on Trix Crispy Treats (yeah. . .Trix and marshmallows! Yippee, can you say HYPER!!!) I guess by uneventful I mean I did not get to do anything that I needed to do, except laundry, this week. The girls and I did go to Curves, but that is about it. Hopefully this week, when everyone is GONE, I can get some things done.

I started out the week in Maryland. We took my Aunt and cousins to Einsteins for breakfast then my sister drove them home. When she got back we talked for a little bit then we left for the airport. On the way to the airport we visited my mom's grave. She says she goes often, since it is only about 10 minutes from her house at the most. My check in time was 4:45 for a 5:15 flight. We left the cemetary at just before 4 pm. I arrived at the skycap at 4:40 to check one bag. He asked me when my flight was and I told him 5:15, he looked at me like I had horns or something and threw my boarding pass back at me (I had already checked in online at my dad house) and told me I better RUN! I was like, dude, I just made this flight a couple of months ago. . .relax. So I went about 1000 feet to the security check point at Reagan National Airport, which is about 1500 feet or so from my gate, gave them my id and boarding pass and got in line. As I took off my shoes, cuz everyone these days has to do that, I put took out all the metal I had. . .my cell phone etc and put it in my carry on. I made a mental note of my person to make sure I was "good to go". I had the same bra on I flew out to Maryland with and it was an underwire, but it had not set off any alarms in KC (unless you count my husbands. . .) so I figured I was fine there. Nothing else metal on me so I knew I would breeze through the checkpoint. WRONG!

I kept setting off the alarms! We could not figure out what is was so I was taken aside to wait for a female TSA agent to inspect my "wares". Of course she was taking a break or something and did not seem to interested in moving quickly. She leisurly finished her conversation with another TSA agent as I stood there in my stocking feet waiting to be patted down so I could catch my flight home. After another agent gathered all of my things, my purse, my shoes, my carry on and the little bowl that now held my earrings and necklace. . .just in case they were the metal detecting culprit, and took me further down to wait. Right next to a wall clock that read, 4:50. I sat patiently, well at least I seemed patient on the outside. . . Ask my husband, I am not very patient when it comes to being on time. I HATE to be late. I did not want to leave as late as we did from my parents house, but I was not driving so I just went with the flow. So here I am trying not to cause any undo commotion that would get me in big trouble, waiting, so it seemed, patiently. The female agent finally comes over and in painstaking detail explains exactly what she will be looking for and at and when. Inside I'm thinking, just a quick pat down and you will see that yes, indeed this is all my fat. . . I tell her quietly since now there is a man and his cooresponding male TSA agent right next to us, that I have on an underwire bra. She notes that and proceeds to scan my body with the metal detecting wand of doom, which goes off at my bust on both sides of my body. Great, lets go I think. Nope, not so fast. The wand started beeping at my head now! What, my head? Ma'am, Are your barrettes metal? DOH, why yes they are. I did not wear barrettes on the flight out to MD. So now it is time to put down the wand and use her hands on select places. . .which she again explains in excrusiating detail! Finally she is done and I can go. I try not to run as I grab my things, put my shoes back on. . .thank God for slip on shoes! As I arrive at my gate, there are just a few people in line waiting to board. I casually, on the outside again, fall in line like I have been here for hours looking at the overpriced magazines, books and $5 bottles of water. Whew, makes me tired just thinking of it! After some chit chat with my seat mate, I dove into my book, determined to finish it before we landed in KC. The rest of the flight I only stopped reading long enough to get some pretzets and a drink. . .and then 2 world famous hot chocolate chip cookies. I finished the last sentence just as we touched down. Perfect timing. . .

Easter Weekend in Maryland

2007-04-12T22:17:00.000-05:00

Well, gonna try to write an update now. . .The weekend was quick. . .too quick! I got in on Friday at 4:45 and my sister met me at the airport, we drove to the house and talked a bit while we waited for her husband to get ready and for my dad to get home (he was at his sisters, she lives close). Then we went out to Buca di Beppo for dinner, which was a lot of fun! The next day we picked up my Aunt and 2 cousins (they do not drive) and did the grocery shopping for Easter. My aunt and cousins arrived just after lunch, so I made them some sandwiches and we looked at the albums I brought (did I tell you all that I had a box of pics that I put in about 10 albums- each with over 200 pictures in it??? Then we went to the Easter production at my moms old church, the one my sister still attends. Lets just say it was HUGE! there were 12 of us there. On the way home we picked up pizza and I HAD to get a sub too since you cant get a decent sub here in Kansas City. . .go figure!? After dinner we made pies, played cards, looked at pictures, dyed Easter eggs, talked and talked and talked! We all slept in on Easter, since we had gone to church the night before. The rest of the clan arrived around 2ish and we finished prepping dinner while we talked and had fun. My newest nephew, who was named after my mom, was there. . .he is only 3 weeks old. His name is Maeson, after my mom Mae. All in all it was a good trip. I did not get to spend as much time alone with my Dad and sister as I would have liked because my cousins were there. Both of them are mentally delayed. the oldest one is 28 and she probobly has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. She is actually smart, but her social skills are very very delayed. My other cousin is 21, and is a senior in high school. Their mom is my late mothers sister. Another one of my moms sisters died in October. Spending the weekend with them made me wonder what would happen to them if my aunt were to pass away. They are on welfare and assistance. They have very very little. My younger sister is going to help them by trying to get my younger cousin to go onto college and my older cousin to work. Right now she does not work. I know she can hold down a job. Their mom is not in great shape, she has a lot of physical problems. I know before she passed away, my mom was trying to help my aunt. They had just gotten back in touch. My aunt had moved and not told anyone and they were not able to track her down until the last few years. Anyway, since my aunt and cousins were there until Monday (they were supposed to go home Sunday night, but my sister asked them if they wanted to stay the night again) I did not get to go to my moms grave until Monday on the way to the airport. That was really hard. There is no marker yet, just a long patch of dirt. It was hard to believe and still does not seem real. My dad seems to be doing okay. He is having finacial issues waiting for the insurance money and my moms savings account to be freed up for him. I wish I could do more, I got him a $50 grocery gift card and put it in a card before I left. I wish I could have stayed longer. Easter was also my brothers birthday, he was not there, he lives in Florida and since he already missed 2 weeks when my mom was sick and passed away in January and February he could not make it. We called him. He did finally get to see his oldest daughter though. Her step father was killed in an accident just about a month after my mom died. She is supposed to spend the weekends with my brother, she had not since her step father passed away. Supposedly to be with her mom. This past weekend was the first time she went to my brothers since then. He was very happy to see her again! I am trying to write in the journal I got from my mom every night. I found hers, one very similar to the one I have from her, and it had about 4 pages written in. I photocopied them. It is the leather bound book with a bible verse and short "story" on each page with a place for you to write in. One of the things she wrote was how she wanted to keep a record for her kids. Just about 3 weeks before she passed away she started a writing class, she was SO EXCITED about that class! She went to one class before she went into the hospital! I don't think I have nearly as much to say as she did, but I want to say it anyway! So I am going to try to be consistant with writing every day in it.Sorry I have been away so long! Hopefully next week when the kids go back to school I can get back into everything I need to. . .it is amazing how busy they keep me! Today they popped a water balloon in the living room, all over the coffee table, carpet, and Wii Motes! ARGH!!!! And the fact that it is hard to get them to bed at a decent hour!Dawn

LOTS of Baking and some writing. . .

2007-03-24T23:57:00.000-05:00

Between last night and all day today I have baked 8 full sized cheesecakes (with my "famous" pecan crust), 14 mini cheesecakes, 30 star (baked in Reynolds shaped foil pans) shaped M and M brownies, 6 full sized loaves of Pecan Pound Cake, 6 mini pecan pound cakes, 1 cookie pizza, and one HUGE homemade Chocolate Cake with Whipped Cream Cheese frosting, all for the churches youth group fundraiser tomorrow. I may do more when I come home tomorrow from church before the Coffee House Fundraiser. I am tired, but mostly feel good.
Here is some stuff I have written to try to process my moms death. . .
For the most part I like living in Missouri, even though it is 1200 miles away from my family. That is until my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Did I miss the family the previous 12 years? Yes, but there was always "time" and there were visits, however infrequent they were. I did talk to my mom at least a few times a week, but usually every day. There was not much I could do about being so far away. With a large family it is not very easy to just up and move. Especially when the cost of living is so much different. I did talk to my husband about pulling the kids out of school and temporarily moving to Maryland if I thought there was a way to help my mom and if she needed it. But that time never came. She tolerated her treatments very well and then I got the "call" to come because the end was very near. It was all way too fast! Yes, she had been sick for over a year but things seemed to be looking up. I had just been to visit her 2 weeks before she passed away. I am very grateful for that visit. But at the time if anyone asked me if I thought my mom would be gone in 2 weeks, I would have said no. She was doing great! The weekend I was there she baked about 5 batches of pound cakes to take to people. She took one to her radiologists office and even made some for the construction workers who were out in front of her house working on a drainage ditch. I am still amazed at her stamina and strength. My brother who lives in Florida came to visit her the following weekend. Neither one of us thought we would be there again so soon for her death.The whole time I was riding in our van to Maryland, I was torn between wanting my husband to somehow go faster so that we could be there NOW, to wanting to go just as fast in the other direction. Maybe if I did not go she would not die. Crazy I know, but that is what I was thinking. I still don't know how I made it into the hospital room in one piece. It was like a bad dream. When we were getting closer to the hospital, the same hospital that my first 2 children were born in, I felt like the first thing I was going to do when I got out of the van was to throw up! Some how I did not, I made my way into the hospital and was met by my oldest sister in the lobby (she had been coming to the lobby looking for me every few minutes because we had called to say we were close). We hugged as we were walking to the elevator. Neither one of us wanted to delay my seeing my mom, thats how close we all thought she was to death. As we got off of the elevator I saw literally dozens of my family members, my moms co workers, family friends, as well as people who I did not know (at the time, I would meet them all over the next few days.). It was surreal, as they all seemed to part and make room for me to go into the room. I hugged my dad who was just outside my moms hopital room and I know I said something, I just dont remember what it was. No one else tried to talk to me or anything and as I entered my moms room everyone left so that I could have private time with my mom. My brothers and sisters (I am one of 6) all hugged me on the way out. My aunt told me later that week that I looked like a ghost as I entered my moms room. I spent a few minutes talking and hugging my mom although she was not responsive at the time. Then my husband and kids came in as did my younger sister (when she got married 2 years ago my parents finished their basement into a seperate apartment and she and her husband live there so she was my moms caretaker along with my dad). There was a certain thing that my sister did to rouse my mom and she did this as the kids talked to my mom. She responded to the first 2 of my kids verbally and looked at them. My oldest, a 13 year old girl, had the hardest time and was reluctant to go up to my mom. She finally did and talked to her and said her goodbyes. One of my cousins comforted her in the hallway afterward. I don't know how long it had been, but the kids and my husband left and went to eat (we had not eaten in a LONG time because we had been driving in a blizzard) and then to stay at my mother in laws. I went home that night to my moms house and since my clothes were in my van in a repair shop in West Virginia, I slept in my moms pjs and in her bed since 2 of my brothers were also staying at her house that night. My dad stayed at the hospital. I washed my clothes and put the same ones back on the next morning. We all went back to the hospital. We stayed there all day. It was my daughters 10th birthday. She and the rest of the kids were with my husband still at my MIL's house. I thought it best that they not hang around the hospital and I also thought that I needed the time to focus on myself not them. That night we left the hospital reluctantly. We all had a sense that she would pass while we were gone for the night. My dad stayed the night. He climbed into the bed with her as he had for the previous nights at the hospital. He said they had some times of clarity and conversation. I am sorry that I missed that, but very glad that he experienced it. That was my biggest fear, that he would miss her last moments. I am glad that he had that private time with her. That night I was going to sleep in my moms bed again, but I never made it there. I was watching a movie in the living room. My oldest brother was on the fold out couch and I was in the recliner. He fell asleep, but I was watching the movie, I had never seen it all (Enemy of the State with Will Smith). Not long before the movie was over my 1 and 1/2 year old nephew came downstairs crying. So I scooped him up and rocked him back to sleep. I was stuck in the recliner the rest of the night! It was okay though. Just after 7 am the phone rang and I grabbed it at the same time both of my brothers did (my parents have multiple handsets and we all had one with us). My sister who stayed at the hospital that night at the request if my dad said "She's gone". We all knew it was coming, but I don't think we were ready for it. The next few days were filled with lots of decisions and stuff for the funeral.

Doing all of this baking today brings to mind my mom. During the last month in particular of her life she baked a LOT. My mother had always been a good cook and baker, but she used that gift during the last part of her life to reach out to others. She baked a lot of pound cakes and shared them with various people. When I came to visit her for a long weekend in January, just 2 weeks before she passed away, she made 3 batches of her famous pecan pound cake. One bundt cake was prepared for her radiologists office. Her radiology appointments were every weekday at 6 am. On the Monday (the day I would be leaving) before her last radiology treatment which would be on Wednesday, she took the pound cake baked in her Rose shaped bundt pan for the wonderful people at her radiologists office. She figured that was a good time to take a cake so that by Wednesday, her last treatment, they would be done with her pan and she could take it home. She had also decided that her goal before she passed away was to take a cake (or some other type of baked item) to each one of her neighbors. She said before she died she wanted to knock on each and every door in her neighborhood. Sadly she never got the chance. She did however get the chance to take coffee and a pound cake to the construction workers who were installing a new drainage system in front of her house. Her house is at the end of a cul-de-sac, but it is the only house actually in the cul-de-sac. The rest is empty and will never been built on because it needs to stay "green". This was all just mere weeks before she ended up in the hospital and passed. She was such a strong woman. I am truly blessed to have had her as a mother. What an example. I am so lost without her here. I just can't believe she is not here. I know I am not the only one who feels that way. . .

well, it is official, I am next years PTA prez. . .

2007-03-20T22:47:00.000-05:00

Just got an email telling me that the nominating committe voted today officaially and congratulating me on being the prez. I thought there were gonna be "elections" and such. And, honestly, I was hoping I would "lose"! LOL. Oh well! I have got my work cut out for me, huh? I was finishing the newsletter tonight, or rather, working on it. I can't finish it yet because there are people who (still!) have not given me information. One of which is the principal.

Still feeling puny with the strep stuff. . .yuck. Going to be doing lots of baking later in the week for our church youth coffee house fundraiser. Should be interesting. Lots of stuff to do still, as usual. Right now, I need to go to bed though cuz my knee is hurting. Been bugging me the last couple of days. Tomorrow got to go back to Curves (now that I am not contagious. . .) hope it feels better........

Weekend update. . .

2007-03-18T14:42:00.000-05:00

Right now I am waiting for my husband to wake up before we meet our friends for dinner. We are going our with out our children, so there will be 16 less of us! YIPPEE!!!! There will only be 10, of us and we are all adults (well, I think we are at least. . .lol). No kids menus today. It has been awhile since we last got together without the kiddos. We actually all just got together 2 weeks ago for our friends 2 adopted childrens Christening. Then we went swimming. Which, of course meant that I had to buy 5 new bathing suits so that we could go! That was fun. Our friends parents are still in town (they live in Miami) so they will be at dinner with us. They are fun, a little hard to understand sometimes, but very nice and fun.

Last night we had our friends and neighbors over, the ones with the 7 boys. We did the whole St Patricks day thing. I made corned beef and cabbage and also decided to put chili in the crock pot too, just in case there was not enough to go around (there were 16 of us last night). Surprisingly the chili was very popular. Everyone loved it! They thought it tasted really good. Good thing I worked really hard to open up the can! (actually it was really hard with my RA, the big Costco sized can did not fit into the electric can opener so I had to do it by hand! ). I will have to get some more of it. It filled up the crock pot and only cost me $6. Cheaper and less mess then making it from scratch! Good to have ready for those nights I am not feeling well.

We did have fun last night. I made my moms famous pecan pound cakes. I added green food coloring to one to make it festive! I am eating a slice now as a matter of fact. The kids played well (mostly) together. After we ate we watched America's Funniest Home Videos from the DVR, then some Hows that Made. It was a big hit, as the friends do not have cable, they only get like 2 channels and they are both "fuzzy". AFV is always good for a laugh.

Earlier in the day my husband and I borrowed a friends truck and picked up some furniture. A new bed. This one is an old water bed frame that has been converted to a regular bed and it has storage underneath. Right now we just have the mattress in our room on the old frame. It is about 6 inches narrower then our old bed though. So it does not quite fit on the box springs we have. . .But hopefully this bed will be more comfortable on hubbys back. I have not had a good track record with beds. Well, I need to go make sure our van is not too messy, since we are driving tonight for 6 of us. Don't want them to be too disgusted!

Baby Maeson born. . .finally

2007-03-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

My sister in law Mary Jane gave birth this morning at 10:08 AM Eastern time to a 6 lb 3.2 oz baby boy, named Maeson. He was named after my late mother Mae. All are doing well, although mom is very tired because even though she was induced yesterday, Maeson did not show up until this morning! He also started coming while mom was only 8 cm, which meant the doctor had to dialate her manually. . .OUCH! This is truly a miraculous event. MJ has been had 3 other babies, one died in utero and was still born- he was only a week before his due date. That was very hard on the family. They also have 2 adopted boys. The miraculous thing is that MJ had to use fertility drugs each time she became pregnant. So at over 40 years old it never entered into her mind that she would need to take any kind of birth control. I mean with her severe endometriosis and past inablility to get pregnant without intervention, why would she need birth control right? Well, Maeson was a SURPRISE baby alright. Her youngest is not quite 2 years old and yes, was concieved using fertility drugs. So when they found out she was pregnant it was indeed a surprise!

While we all know that Mom is looking down on us at this time it is very hard for her not to be here at this time. Before she died she told Mary Jane not to worry about Nick, the baby she lost because now she would be in heaven taking care of him. Even on her death bed mom was thinking of others, not herself!

Going so many different directions. . .

2007-03-14T21:47:00.000-05:00

. . .I sometimes don't even know what end is up! I never know when I wake up if I will be too weak to do what I need to do throughout the day. . .much less what I WANT to do. My RA usually acts up 2 days a week, but it is not like I get a warning the night before or something so that I could plan for it. No, that would be too easy! Of couse I suppose there may actually be warning signs, but I am just too frikin' tired and sore to notice or care!

My girls and I have been going to Curves. I have been going since last May. They went for free in the summer time. Just last week my oldest (13) said she wanted to go so I signed them up. Before they could change their mind. . .lol!

I started taking a new med for my RA, an NSAID, and it makes me kind of tired. . .just what I need! Today I had breakfast with a friend then we went (NON) plant shopping (too early apparantly) at Home Depot. On the way home I stopped for bread. When I got home I crashed in bed. It was 11:15, I did not get up until 3:35! The the kids came home and I put dinner in the oven (THANK GOD for Stouffers Lasagna!) and sat on the couch. I did manage to fold a load of clothes. . .it took me a few hours it seems but I did it! I don't know if it is the medicine, but my heart was also racing a lot too.

There is SO MUCH I need to be doing around here, but it seems like I am only managing the minimum at the moment. Good thing I have a friend coming Friday to help me clean. Which means tomorrow I have to get ready for her. . .lol.

I have been posting on a cancer support group for people who have losted loved ones to cancer. That has helped some, but I know that I have barely scratched the surface of what I should be dealing with. I am going back to Maryland for Easter. Just me, on a plane. I have already upset the delicate balance that my sister has created though, and I have not even gotten there! She is upset that I mentioned the big Easter get together to my Aunt and that she is planning on attending. Thing is when I was there in January I visited my Aunts house with my mom and dad. I remember my mother inviting my Aunt and also my other Aunt (who does not drive and has to be picked up) and my Uncle (whose wife, my moms sister, died in October). My mom was excited about Easter because they were all going to be there and my new nephew would be there too (he should have been born today, they induced my sister in law this morning, but I have not heard anything. . .I am taking that as good news. . .). Anyway when I spoke to my sister the other day she got all pissed off and started yelling about not wanting other people, just family to be there. Umm, they are family! I tried to ease her feelings by telling her I did not care either way (even though I do, I want them there cause my mom would have and would want us to become closer after her death) and if she cared she needed to talk to my dad about it. Oh well, not much I can do from here. I get in the Friday before Easter and I told my sister that all they needed to do was give me a list and I would do shopping and cooking etc.

We are still trying to decide what to do about school next year. The oldest son will be in 7th grade and wants to be homeschooled again. I am reluctant because that is a lot of pressure on ME and last time it did not go well (in my mind it did not, they were fine and when they went to public school were way above their peers). So far he would be the only one homeschooled. But that means that I would have a HUGE RED TARGET on my head! Given his "truancy" track record (from legitimate illnesses and medical conditions that I have documented to the peril of several trees at least!) I am not looking forward to homeschooling because I just know they will be knocking on my door to check on him. Esp since they will loose the funding that comes when his little butt is placed firmly in one of their schools chairs!

Oh well, too much to worry about tonight. Right now I need to get my oldest out of the shower and the next 2 out from in front of the tv so they can go to bed. I can't go to sleep with them still awake and I have to get up very early in the morning!

2007-02-15T20:33:00.000-06:00

Rheumatoid arthritis- at least now I know that my pain and discomfort have a name. Most of all I am very irritated that I have to do this "alone". It is just really awful that I can't just call my mom up and talk to her about it. Even as I type those words I am still not sure they are real. But the past few weeks have been all too real. Most things kind of ran together. Minutes became hours and before I knew it days became weeks. It was just over a month ago that I went and saw my mother for the weekend. If only I had known that would be the last time I saw her. . .I would have done things differently. Not that there was anything I did that I don't think I should have. But if I had known that those days would be the last that I would spend with my mother here on earth, I would have savoured each moment and tried to remember it. I would have spoken every unspoken word of praise and love I felt. I would have taken pictures so that I could have something to hold on to instead of just the memories in my head. Even though she was sick for some time, I am still in shock as I think about her being gone from this world. I feel as if it is all some horrible dream. I suppose one reason I feel this way is that I never really got a chance to say goodbye to her at all. I went and saw her before she died, but she did not recognize me. That was hard for me. I suppose you can say that I don't feel like I had closure. I just feel empty. And sore. . . more later. . .

My mom passed away on Feb 1, 2007

2007-02-12T22:31:00.000-06:00

http://groups.msn.com/MaeDimes/_whatsnew.msnw

I will write more soon.

Update. . .long over due

2007-01-11T15:19:00.000-06:00

Thanks, Betsy for the reminder. . .it has been too long since I updated my blog.

I am doing laundry for my weekend trip to see my mom. She has 3 brain tumors and is undergoing radiation for them as well as chemo. Her spirits are really good and she says she feels pretty good. I am visiting for a couple of days with out the kiddos. Ralph and them will fend for themselves this weekend.

My kids have gotten over their HATE for me because I gave the kitty away. Smokey certainly had be hooked. Too bad my allergies decided to flare up! I really wanted to keep her, and if you know me at ALL, you know how weird that was! She wrapped me around her paw from the moment she got stuck in the spare tire of my van! We brought her in out of the freezing cold to our kind of cold sun room. The next day the kids convinced me to let her upstairs for a little bit. Then she was up all the time. Before you know it I was buying her presents everytime I went to the store! She would climb on my lap then up my chest and put her head on my shoulder and fall asleep! The kids got over the HATE because the kitten has been given to our friends and neighbors, so pretty much they can see her when they want to. . .and my allergies don't get attacked when I come into my own home.

Been busy doing the PTA stuff and going to Curves and just doing general stuff for the house and kids. Will try to update more later. . .got to finish laundry and make dinner. . .almost forgot about that, the family wants to eat EVERY day now! LOL

Fighting and dying with my Supergroup!

2007-01-03T11:45:00.000-06:00

2007-01-03T11:34:00.000-06:00

2006-12-25T08:48:00.000-06:00

OK, so now I am just irritated! I have been looking for weeks for the Nintendo Wii. Why did'nt I look earlier you ask? Well, because I did not have an extra $250 laying around! And I can't afford to buy it from eBay because there are yahoos like this one. Give me a break! And it is people like this one who really really tick me off! That and the guy sitting on his couch surrounded by 13 Wii systems! Come on people, no wonder they are sold out! And then there is this idiot!

I have been calling and going into countless stores asking if they had the Wii in stock only to be told NO EVERYTIME! Oh a few times I was told, yes I had 5 yesterday and one person bought them all. ARGH! I have 5 kids who just want one and cant find it at retail price. Oh yeah I can find it on eBay for $500 and up, but not anywhere near retail! A lot of people are making a lot of money at the expense of a LOT of families and it makes me sick!

My mom

2006-12-23T21:50:00.000-06:00

Well, my mom is in the hospital. She went to the oncologist yesterday because she was sick and vomiting and generally feeling awful. She had chemo on Tuesday. Her oncologist sent her to the ER where they ran tests and ended up admitting her. The tests reveals that she has 3 lesions on her brain now as well as pancreatic problems related to her lung cancer. This afternoon when I first spoke to my step father I was just in shock. He told me that they thought it was pancreatitis. That is what my father died from when I was 7 months old. He was misdiagnosed and by the time they discovered what it was he was already in shock, so there was nothing they could do about it. Hearing my step father say that was not good, I can tell you that! I am torn, my husband has offered to drive us to Maryland. But that is a 2 day drive and with 5 kids and not much money it is just too much. My sister has promised to tell me if she thinks I need to come out. Of course I want to drop everything and just go, but that is not practical at all.

She should be able to go home tomorrow. They removed the tube from her nose that was removing the bile from her stomach (sorry so graphic) so she was able to eat some clear things this afternoon/evening and keep them down. They said if she does the same at breakfast they will send her home. She goes in for radiation on Tuesday morning. Her spirits are good and she sounded very good when she called me this evening. She called me because she knew I would be worried about hearing she had pancreatitis.

All of the things I have been worrying about the last few weeks are forgotten. I could care less that I was unable to find a few things on my kids lists and unable to afford a lot more! None of that matters now.

We pretty much have to drive to Maryland when we all go as a family because it is too pricey to fly and we still have to rent a van big enough to fit us all which is a lot of money too. No one in my family has an extra vehical big enough for us to borrow. Even if we take the train, which is not as cheap as I thought anyway, we would still have to rent a vehical because they dont have auto trains from Missouri to Maryland. Then there is the hotel stay somewhere between here and there (usually around Indiana or Ohio) . . .you get the picture. I will hopefully be able to go sometime in Janurary or February by myself. That would not be too bad if I buy plane tickets early enough.

Well, thanks for praying for my mom. There is a man at our church named Lee who has the same cancer. His spread to his brain several months ago and he is not doing well at all. He can't drive anymore and is having balance issues and has fallen a few times. He is a young (under 50) father of 6 and is expecting his second grandbaby in May.

We are all recovering from sickness here, bronchitis, ear infections, upper respitory stuff etc and I started my natural hormone therepy this week too.

2006-12-11T02:52:00.000-06:00

While talking after dinner together about Christmas and the fact that there is no Santa, our son looks at my husband and says, "Your an elephant!". Now my husband and I are both overweight so we thought it was a commentary on our size. We asked him what he meant and he said, "well, you said that you helped Santa so you are elves and your also parents, so your Elfhants!" We started cracking up. . .

quick update

2006-12-10T09:42:00.000-06:00

Been crazy busy between the PTA, RIF, overflowing kitchen sink, home stuff and of course lets not forget the broken thumb by my son, the stomach bug that I picked up and now the cold that I managed to get as well. NEVER a dull moment! Got to get the kiddos ready for church.

2006-11-24T11:17:00.000-06:00

Well the social worker visit came and went uneventfully. We will have to see how much it will cost us to have the lawyer come to our house for it though. Nothing came of it. She herself admitted that it was a bogus claim against us and was a waste of time. . .

Thanksgiving. . .

2006-11-23T09:32:00.000-06:00

A quick post before I leave the comfort of my cozy bedroom with my husband. . .

I was awaken not by the alarm at 5:30 (am and am thankful) but by a tiny knock at my door, from my youngest, Robert. When I asked him what he needed he said "to give you something." I know that this something is a paper because Robert is almost 6 and in kindergarten and even before he started kindergarten he found any paper he could and wrote me notes! He loves to read and write. This one (wish I had my scanner hooked up. . .) was adorable. It said Happy Thanksgiving Mom and dad. Gobble Gobble. . .and had a drawing of a turkey on it. . .so cute.

Well, more later. Now I have pecan pie to make and Phase 10 to play with my kiddos!

2006-11-21T22:51:00.000-06:00

I am trying not to be stressed, but it is getting difficult! Got a call yesterday afternoon from our lawyer informing us that we HAVE to meet with the social worker in our home. ARGH! I thought this was done with. But apparently it is not. So instead of just making pies and enjoying the day off with the kids, we are cleaning like mad and getting ready for our home "inspection" and interview with the kids. This is so frustrating for me.

Yesterday I spent the day working on things for the PTA at the elementary school. I am the chairperson for the Reading is Fundamental program and am getting ready for our first ever book distribution. When I came home, I was extremly tired. I rested for a bit in the afternoon, then had to go pick up my oldest from basketball practice. Then I came home and started dinner. I had to have my husband finish it. I was wiped out. I sat down to dinner and ate like 2 bites of dinner and I was just too tired to even eat. The brick wall I have heard about from other women who have had a hysterectomy. I have been feeling well and doing stuff.

So then today I had 3 Thanksgiving "feasts" at my younger 3 kids school. But before that I had to take my FIL to get an MRI. When I got home from that I simultaneously cleaned up the kitchen, made and ate breakfast, prepared mac and cheese for the feast, did laundry, checked PTA business on email, and made some calls. Then I went to the school for the feasts. Lots of bending to serve the kids, then lots of walking back and forth to get the kindergarten feast underway. Then I delivered the 5 boxes of books to the library for the RIF book distribution. I went home, had lunch and crashed! Gave the kids their snack when they came home, then went and picked up dd from basketball and other dd from art club. Then we went to the grocery store for milk and bread and "stuff". Next it was home to make dinner after the stuff was unloaded. At dinner again I was wiped out. I felt like I was hit by a mack truck! And I still had to help clean and get ready for the social worker visit. The kids really stepped up and did what they needed to with the help of my husband and I was pleasantly surprised and thankful. The smell of the cleaner mixed with my already tired body made it hard to do much else so after I scrubbed my bathroom I went to the store and got a few more things that were forgotten earlier. . .

Hopefully there will not be too much to do tomorrow and the social worker visit will be done and over with. . .I want to get this all behind us! Right now I need to figure out a way to get my 7 year old son out of my bed and into his own, then I think I will read and sleep! No alarm in the morning! Can't really sleep in with the impending visit, but wont have to be up at 5:30 either!

2006-11-19T16:32:00.000-06:00

I am not even sure where to begin. . .or what to say! My head is pounding still from a migraine. I am used to migraines, but I had hoped that the hysterectomy would take them away. That did not happen, I wake up almost everyday with one now. Can't start hormones yet because of the endometriosis. Physically I am doing pretty well but emotionally I am a wreck! Might have something to do with the fact that I have not been able to sleep through the night since the surgery. Not sure. . . Kids are not being helpful, husband is some but not like I would like. I feel like I am being too demanding, but I don't think that they realize that this surgery was very hard on me. It may not seem like it because I am doing well. Most of the women on the hystersisters are not doing the things I am able to do now. Sure I get more tired more quickly, but overall I am doing pretty well. Just wish I could get my house in shape. Can't afford to have someone come help me though. Christmas is coming and bills are due. . .what else is new, right?

I really wanted to surprise my husband with a night or weekend away for his bday or while my mom was here. That did not happen though. Maybe next month for our anniversary. . .we will see. Money will be tighter then though I imagine. Maybe it will have to wait until January. We will see.

Oh well. . .thats about all now . . .just a jumble of disconnected whining as usual. . .

Yes, I am still alive. . .lol

2006-11-11T23:15:00.000-06:00

not that anyone else is reading this, but I am still alive. Just busy with life. Recovery, visiting with my mom and normal life. . .lol

will try to write more soon. . .after I (start!!!) finish writing thank you notes to everyone who helped me after surgery. . .that needs to be done soon!

whine whine whine

2006-11-03T22:25:00.000-06:00

Still recovering from surgery and am in a BAD mood. Been having migraines since last week, that sucks. Also my dd's sprayed (a LOT) of Febreeze in their room and it is NOT helping. Neither is the fact that my 9 year old just came into the room and told me that her sisters teddy bear hamster is MISSING! My 13 year old apparently did not close the cage well. . .or at all before she went to sleep at her friends house! ACK! We just killed a mouse that had taken up residence in our bedroom a couple of days ago. . .now this rodent is running around. I hate rodents running around. And of course there are plenty of places to hide around here since the kids have not been doing their chores at ALL, on the contrary, they have been making a bigger mess! They were off of school today, which drove me NUTS! I still cant drive so we were all stuck here! Me with a migraine and them making a mess and NOT doing their chores or getting ready for Grandma's visit monday! And of course my husband had to work late, which I understand, but it is still annoying. He is not yet back from taking the oldest dd to her friends house. The youngest boy fell asleep on our bed. Cant move him, heck I cant even move a gallon of milk yet! Would love to sleep in tomorrow but not sure if that will happen. There is a LOT to do tomorrow to get ready for my mom coming monday. I cant make house perfect and she does not expect it, but I am annoyed that my family is not stepping up and helping. I at least need to figure out a comfortable relatively clean place for her to sleep. . .

This weeks Monkey Punch!

2006-10-27T08:23:00.000-05:00

This past week, right after my hysterectomy, my son on his way down the stairs in our front foyer to catch the bus, tripped down the stairs. He injured his big toe. My husband and I (who both heard him fall) came to ask him if he was okay. Although he seemed a little irritated and embarrassed (been there, done that. . .last time at my dd's middle school right in the middle of the hallway! OUCH!) he said he was fine. So off he went to catch the bus, then the younger 3 followed suit. My husband who had been home already for 1 full week taking care of me and the kids after my major surgery and 2 day stay at the hospital as well as manadory bed rest at home HAD to go into work that day. So after getting kids off to school and doing some things around the house (I cant even load the dishwasher!) he tried to log on and work from home. He soon discovered that he had to actually go into the office and "put out some fires". So in the early afternoon he went to work. When Z came home I asked him how his foot was and he said it was fine. A little while later he told me it hurt and when I looked at it I saw that it was bruised and figured he needed to get an xray. Not that it really matters with toes, because they cant do anything but confirm a fracture. They dont cast toes, they just wrap them. I could have done that at home. But I am always very cautious with my kids and their health, I would much rather take them to the doctor and have THEM tell me oh they are fine, no need to worry, you did not have to bring them in then to not bring them in and miss something major. So I called my husband and left a message telling him that he had to take Z to the doctor when he got home. Z did not feel like he needed to go, he said it was fine.

So jump forward a bit to around 10 pm, when my husband arrived home and agreed that he needed to go to the doctor. We briefly discussed whether or not we should take him into the urgent care clinic or the reg doctor the following day. It was decided that the urgent care clinic was the best thing to do, that way he would not miss any school. So my husband took Z to the urgent care clinic. After the urgent care clinic Z came home with a soft-sided ÂbootÂ to wear for his slightly broken big toe. The next morning not long after he left for school the urgent care clinic called back and said that the radiologist who checks the x-rays said his toe was in fact NOT broken at all.

That afternoon, about 5 minutes after my younger 3 kids got home from elementary school, I saw a woman coming to the door. Must be a sales person I thought. So I went to the door to get rid of her quickly (or so I thought!) by telling her I had just had surgery. She had an id badge hanging around her neck and a stack of papers and folders in her hands, but honestly I did not pay attention to her id badge, cause seems like everyone has one these days. She began by asking for my husband. I told her that he was not home but I was his wife. She then asked me if I was ZÂs motheProbablybly not a salesperson I thought, but I still did not know who she was. After I told her I was ZÂs mother she said ÂWe have gotten a report that your son broke his leg and you did not seek medical attention for it.Â

I responded by saying, ÂFirst of all he told that he broke is big toe last night and they already called this morning to say it was in fact NOT broken. And second of all, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!Â Only then did she ÂidentifyÂ herself as being from social services. A lot of the rest of the conversation is really a blur. To tell you the truth I was so shocked and totally annoyed that I canÂt remember exactly what was said. I remember telling her that I had just had major surgery a WEEK ago and could not drive that is why my husband took our son in late in the evening. She also repeatedly asked me if she could come into my home and Âlook aroundÂ. Each time I told her, ÂNot without a search warrant you canÂtÂ. She kept pushing that issue, like I was an idiot who did not know my rights. My other kids were on the steps behind me and she looked passed me and asked if those Âwere all my kidsÂ. I told her, yes in fact they were all my children. I had 5 children and they were all my natural children and they were all healthy and fine.

Then she asked me if Zwas home. I told her no, that his bus did not get home for another 15 minutes and it came later then the other kids bus. She seemed to want to wait for him and I told her she was welcome to wait and see if he was indeed okay. I asked her for something in writing and she gave me a generic form with her name and todayÂs date. Then she got into her car and after a few minutes left. I waited in my foyer for ZÂs bus to insure that she did not try to talk to him alone or anything. Then I called my husband , who called our lawyer. Z arrived home around 4:10 and she was no where in sight and did not come back that evening.

Then I began running around and cleaning. . .doing all the things the doctor had forbidden me to do! Bending to pick things up, loading and unloading the dishwasher, washing dishes, doing laundry. . .all the things I had left for my husband and kids to do. I was beginning to hurt. Then one of my friends called back and said she had gotten at least one other lady from the church for sure and they would be there in an hour to help me crisis clean the house, in case they came back. I nearly burst into tears! Okay, I did. . .not that it was hard cause I had been doing that on and off since I closed the door on the social worker. I had not idea if or when she would show back up and if she would be alone or with a police officer and a search warrant! Talk about stressed out!

The next day I jumped everytime I heard a car pass and was looking out the window the whole day! I jumped out of my skin when a neighbor sent her son down to borrow some butter! Around 1:50, the phone rang and it was the social worker from the day before. She was cpositionto see if my positon from the previous day had ÂchangedÂ. When I asked her what position, she said the one where I refused to allow her to come into my home. I assured her that no, my position had not changed. (I mean was there a constitutional amendment I did not know about in the past 12 hours!?!?!?) She then went on to insist that she needed the names and birthdates of each of my other children and that she wanted to interview each of them as well. Of course I told her no way was she going to be getting that information or doing that! I cited the fact that the ÂcomplaintÂ was against my husband and one son, Z, not the rest of the nonsensee spouted some nonesence about having the ÂrightÂ to talk to all the children as well as to come into my home if she wanted to. I told her that I would double check with my lawyer and if he felt like she had a legal ÂrightÂ to that information then I would give it to her at the meeting that afternoon. She was not happy at all. The last question she asked me was what school my son attended. I refused to give her that information as well. As I suspected when I spoke to my lawyer after that phone conversation he agreed that the information they requested was not needed by them and should not be given to them at all.

I had previously arranged for a friend to video tape the meeting scheduled for that afternoon. About 5 minutes before my friend arrived, the phone rang. This time it was the social workers supervisor. She was unclear about some things that had transpired at the first meeting and wanted to Âclear some things upÂ. I told her I was more then happy to do just that. Then she proceeded to tell me that they did have the right to enter my home if they wanted to. I again reminded them that they were more then welcome to if they had a search warrant. She told me that she did not need a search warrant, she could come into my home whenever she felt it was needed. To which I responded, then why have you not been in there yet? Then I handed the phone to my husband. She continued to argue that they had the right to come into our home. She even went so far as to quote Senate Bill 757 saying it gave her that right. (We looked up that Senate bill later that evening and it is about deer hunting!). The conversation ended and we waited for the social worker to arrive. Meanwhile my younger kids arrived home from school and I sent them up to my friends house right away, as my lawyer had told me to do. My videographer and friend arrived and we all prayed together.

Then the woman arrived and we met her in the driveway of our home. When I asked her for her ID, she had to go to her car to get it. She began by asking my husband some questions. My son was next. Then she again asked to come into our home and to see the other kids. That is when we gave her our lawyers name and number. Before she left she filled out a form that stated that Z was indeed in a safe environment and my husband signed it. She tried to get us to sign a HIPA form, but we refused. She left after telling us that they would contact us to set up a time to meet with the other kids. We doubt that the lawyer will let that happen. There is no legal reason for it to happen.

AWESOME SITE

2006-10-21T23:55:00.000-05:00

Hysterectomy Support by HysterSisters.com

Long road to recovery begins. . .

2006-10-20T22:09:00.000-05:00

I am home from the hospital now, have been since Thursday afternoon. Finding it hard to rest. Lots going on here and my staples are sore. . .

Surgery at 7:30 am today

2006-10-17T04:52:00.000-05:00

Off to surgery now. A little nervous and still have a migraine but overall very happy to be getting this done! Keep me in your prayers. . .if you read this

Red Lobster. . .or not. . .

2006-10-15T21:37:00.000-05:00

Well today was my FIL's anniversary. . .of when he joined the Navy. Something like 66 years ago today! WOW! As usual he wanted to take us out to lunch, which for some reason causes a LOT of problems with my 5 ungrateful children! they all complain about where, do we have to go, not this place again, but I want to play with my friends instead. . .you name it they pull it. Well today, because of the anniversary, my FIL wanted to go to Red Lobster to celebrate. This sounded good to me! Sort of my last hurrah before my surgery and a place that none of the kids will complain about. So this morning as I made eggs for myself (and 3 of my other kids too!), I called the Red Lobster closest to us to see if they take reservations. And the one we normally go to is closed, so I call another one, that is further, but not too bad. They are open but do not take any reservations or even call ahead seating, so it is first come first serve.

So of course it is always hard to get everyone out of church in time to go home and get grandpa and go to a restarurant and get a decent seat with out a long wait. So we all rushed out of church and planned to meet at home to get grandpa then go get gas cause the van was practically on empty. We decided to wait on the gas and just go. Apparently my FIL told my husband that it did not have to be Red Lobster, just anywhere he can get shrimp. When I got into the van my husband tells me this and I am stumped. I do not have a clue what he would consider a good place to get shrimp, esp one that compare to Red Lobster. So we explain that we can go to where ever he wants and we dont mind driving to Red Lobster. He does not really say anything just throws his hands up. ARGH!! I hate having to decide something when I know there is the potential for him to get upset. Lets just say he is "set in his ways". Sometimes he can be very opinionated.

A little while later we arrive at RL and of course it is packed, afterall it is a Sunday afternoon, right? I go in to put our name in, followed by some of the kiddos. After I finally made my way through all the waiting people to put our name in, she tells me the wait is for 1 hour at least. As I turned around I shuffled the kids out too, cause I knew my FIL would not want to wait that long. Of course he did not. As we are leaving the restaurant a lady says to me, "He threw up." I looked at her like, huh?!?! She points to my youngest, who I am guiding out of the first lobby (you know between the 2 front doors), and repeats herself, "He just threw up.' Seemingly all at once I look at my son, who looks like he just threw up, right down to a dribble down the front of his sweatshirt, then at the lobby floor where a RL employee is putting napkins over what I presume is my sons "cookies", then back at the woman. Next I took off the offensive sweatshirt as we were (quickly) walking back to our van. We all pile into the van and my FIL says he wants to go to the Chinese buffet he sees next door. So we make our way over there, green little boy and all. When we got there I told my husband I was going to take our son to Kmart (it was in the same parking lot) and get him some medicine for his tummy. Even though the Kmart was close, my son no longer had a sweatshirt on and I did not want to make him walk feeling as bad as he was. A very short ride later we parked at the Kmart and I waited for my son to open his door before locking it. Apparently his arm was right where the lock is, cause he started screaming. I had pinched his arm in the lock when I locked the door. He climbed back in and over the driver seat to me and I carried him inside. Good thing he is a tiny 5 year old! I went and got the medicine for him and then some crackers and a new sweatshirt. I asked him if he wanted to go into the restaurant or just stay in the van. At first he said he wanted to stay in the van, then he changed his mind.

A few minutes later, after getting lots of sympathy (and some plastic bags!) from the Kmart cashier we arrived back at the buffet. He seemed like his normal perky self and we went inside with plans on eating white rice and maybe some noodles or other bland things. He ate some of that, and also ended up eating several chicken on a stick ( cooked in a teriaki sauce I think) and he even ordered a "Dr. Pibb". Everything seemed fine, I even got to eat some food. (it should be noted that he has had a recent history of feeling like this,esp when we were driving cross country. . .so this is not a new thing, just not usually when we are so close to home. . .) All of a sudden he says he thinks he needs to throw up and looks like it too! Remember this is a Sunday afternoon, and this place is packed. . .and HUGE. And where are we sitting? You guessed it all the way in the back corner, far from the bathroom, far from the front door and surrounded by families eating lunch. So I quickly asked my other son to go to the other side of the table so that I could scoot over closer to the wall to try to shield the other diners should anything "happen". The best thing I had to catch with was several napkins from the table. I tried to help my son and comfort him while at the same time looking for a way out that would not involve my son puking on or near other people eating their egg rolls. The front door might as well have been a mile away at this point! I asked my son if he thought he could make it to the van without throwing up. He said yes, so I grabbed my keys, my purse, his new sweatshirt and the napkins were at the ready, right near his face. We quickly left. No conversation, we just walked out. I think I might have told my husband "we are going to the van". I knew he realized that anyway and we did not have time for chit chat. . .or more tossing of cookies!

In the van my son was fine again and he saw my notebook from church and asked me if I had a pen. I gave him a pen and he wrote and drew for awhile. He has been fine ever since. No complaints before and none since. . . .

Our school has a 24 hour policy, if you throw up or have a fever you have to stay home until you have no fever or throw up for 24 hours. But given the fact that my son seems to have had this episode from car sickness and I have surgery to prepare for. . .he will be going to school! That is all I need,a sick kid on my last day to prepare for surgery. As it was I did not do much today. I had a migraine (still do). I did manage to make dinner, even though only my FIL, my youngest and myself bothered to eat. (the rest were asleep, out playing or over friends houses) Then he had to go to the grocery store, and so did I. When I got into the van I was met with a big E. We never did get gas earlier. So I filled up then went to the grocery store, then came home and put the stuff away, bathed the youngest, scrubbed my shower floor (gross textured finish. .argh), folded MOUNDS AND MOUNDS of clothes, washed more clothes, loaded and started the dishwasher, put the kids to bed, and then got a snack and came to blog. . . .

It is sad when going to the hospital to have a hysterectomy is like a vacation. . . .

Getting ready for surgery. . .Tuesday!

2006-10-15T00:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I went to the doctor on Wednesday to discuss what the next step would be considering I had such a rough time during my period, even after the surgery. He told me there was no reason to wait, that he knew I needed relief. So we scheduled surgery for Tuesday, October 17. At 7:30 AM. WOW. That is early, that means we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 to do labs, and we have to leave here at 5 AM. My wonderful friend and neighbor will be coming over (agian!) at 5AM to be here with kids and get them up and ready for school. She is a lifesaver! Esp because she is NOT a morning person! The house is slowly getting clean. . .not the way I would like, but I only have so much time and help. I am tring to prioritize. The kids did manage to clean their rooms, but that means now my laundry pile is HUGE! On monday, my friend Cassy is coming over to help me with some meal prep. What a sweetie! More tomorrow. . .I am still looking around the hystersisters website. . .

Homebirth Diaries

2006-10-14T20:44:00.000-05:00

Homebirth Diaries
Congratz!!!! It is a boy. . .great job!

Saturday Night

2006-10-07T23:07:00.000-05:00

Well, it is Saturday night, and right now I am sitting at my computer listening to my 5 year old whine . . .he wants to sleep on the floor and since I told him no he is in there crying. . .

ARGH!!! And 3 of my 4 other kids are still awake. And my mother in law just called. . .and it is 11pm. There goes my relaxing evening playing COH with my hubby.

I spent most of the day in the garage- I cleaned it out in preparation for a garage sale next week. The main goal of which is to make money AND get rid of the bed. Well get rid of crap and declutter too. . .

Well, hubby is waiting for me to log on to COH now. . .more tomorrow!

back again

2006-10-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

should be doing my homework, but it is 10:30 and my kids are not all in bed yet. I just got back from picking my two oldest and their friend up from youth group and then taking my son to Blockbuster because he HAD to trade his games and get a new one NOW. House is a mess, laundry needs to me folded, room needs to be cleaned ( kids made it messier while I was getting other kids from youth group), homework has not been touched ( I did read most of the chapter though. . .), I should be vacumming up the hair on the bathroom floor from cutting my husbands hair this morning, but I am just too tired. There goes what I thought would be the ideal evening. . .me and my husband doing our homework together then "cuddling". everyone else hijacked my plans. . .as usual. So instead of homework with hubby, I will play my new pc game, Penguin Puzzle or Drop, probobly drink another Coke (I had given them up. . .) and eat some chocolate therepy, then go to bed. . .when and IF my daughter finally finishes her homework and goes to bed (she told me this afternoon she did not have any homework!). And tomorrow is more of the same. Run off the newsletter, figure out what to make for dinner, make dinner, clean up the kitchen so I can make dinner, run errands, go to an appointment, finish (start) my homework, go to my class, mail my moms bday cards (late of course), and a million other things. . .welcome to my CRAZY world, alright! Where do I get off. . .

running around again. . .like always!

2006-10-04T15:39:00.000-05:00

It seems like I am either feeling like crap and in bed or running around trying to catch up after the last bout or before the next one! Story of my life. Right now I am trying to get my world famous chicken pot pie going (cooked chicken yesterday and even made the stock!). Also doing laundry, finishing newsletter for the elementary school, cleaning my room, doing my homework for the class my husband and I are taking, yadda yadda yadda. . .well the kids bus is here . . .got to go now

Random thoughts and updates. . .

2006-09-30T19:09:00.000-05:00

Busy week here, as usual. Friday I was wiped out after the field trip, which was fun up until ride home. I sat in the back of the bus to keep the kiddlets under control there. Bad idea! Those buses have NO shocks. . .or at least it feels that way all the way back there! Then I came home and made dinner and went to our communication class. I wanted to get the house in better shape before Karen and Angela came over to clean this morning. .. but that never happened. It was such a HUGE blessing though to come back home and have the living room and kitchen done. I mean DONE! Not just skimmed over, like I have been doing. I have wanted to mop/scrub the kitchen floor for over a month and was just too sick or weak to get to it. I have been spot cleaning with bleach spray, a towel and my foot. Not very effective.

I have the elementary school newsletter to work on. . .only problem is only 2 people have sent me anything for it, and one of them was just for the website, not newsletter bc the event will be done by the time the newsletter come out! ARGH. Now I have to call and or email everyone . . .again to ask for their submissions and get them all done by the Tuesday afternoon meeting. annoying.

I am having a period now. . .well almost. everything but the bleeding. Sucks. Guess the surgery did not help. ARGH! Will call the doctor on Monday and make an appointment. I knew this was a possiblility but it is still very annoying.

My husband and I have been taking a Christian Communication class for a couple of weeks now. Last week we had to pick a non stressful issue each to talk about and practice with in class. He picked his Crown Vic. He bought another former police Crown Victoria at an auction this past spring. The old one is a blue one and other then packing more power then a regular vic, looked like a regular one. We went to the auction in the spring and bought this new one. Nice and white. With a police spotlight as well as police power. The police decals had been removed however the car still had lots of sticker residue on the doors and back panels. When the car was clean this was not an issue. But, when the car is dirty though it looks kind of like the stickers are still on. So for the past several months (okay all summer. . .and most of spring!) my husband has been driving it like this. He has made several attempts to remove the sticker gunk with several rather expensive chemicals with not much luck. Besides the fact that he has a bad back and the bending does not help. So anyway he used this as his "issue" because it bothers him that it is not done yet, and some of the guys at work make funny comments about it when they go out to lunch together. So fast forward to thursday morning. The day of the field trip and our class. I get up at the normal time of 6 am to get oldest out of bed etc and ready for school. As I start to make her sandwich I discover that there is not enough bread left for everyones lunch so I go down to the freezer to get more. none there. . .of course! So I realize I need to go get more from the store. I made my dd's sandwhich and told her I had to go to store so she needed to leave on time etc. Then I tell my sleeping husband where I am going. Anytime I am running around town I use my husbands car, cause it does not cost over $100 to fill up! KWIM??? So here I am, 6:15 in the morning in sweatpants (with no underwear, not that anyone else would know that. . .), a night shirt with no bra covered up by one of my husband flannel shirts, and my crocs. I was planning on taking a shower before I got the other kids up so no point in getting dressed, right? So off to the local Hy-vee I go. Getting my bread, and of course other stuff. A few minutes later I exit the store and in the parking lot I see another white Vic similar to my hubbys parked back in the parking lot facing me. It looks like someone is in the drivers seat, but I think nothing of it, other then the car is just like the one I am driving, you know how you do when you see a car like one you have or have had right? So I open the trunk and start to unload my cart and the other Vic starts to drive away, or so I thought. The car pulls up behind me and I hear the driver saying something. I look back and it is an undercover police man with a K-9 in the back seat. He then proceeds to tell me that it is illeagal for me to be driving a car like that and I could get in trouble for "impersonating a police officer". WHAT!? What idiot would think that this car was a police car. . .still? What police department is so poor that they cant afford to put stickers on its car? So I played the dumb wife card and blamed everything on my husband! I asked the man several times what we could use to remove the stickers, telling him that we had tried like four things, but everytime he just ignored the question. He did however tell me that the licence plate info had been recorded and they would be "out to check" to see if the sticker residue had been removed. This was just a warning, but the next time. . .well he never said but he implied there would be a next time. He even said some stupidity about his dog could even mistake my car for his and that could be bad. Whatever that means. So I was already feeling like crap that morning this is JUST what I needed, right! After I got home I woke up my husband who went outside after he got dressed and removed the words, "police" and "traffic enforcement" from the car. Took him about an hour and of course was not great for his back! There is still some strips on the back panels of the car, but nothing to even remotely resemble a police car, except the one front hub cap that says "call 911". weird, all the other 3 say "FORD", but this one says "call 911". Funny how God always brings issues up when you start to work on them or talk about them.

exhausted. . .and tired of being behind in everything!

2006-09-27T20:09:00.000-05:00

My surgery was 20 days ago and I was doing well, maybe too well! I tried going to Curves again on Monday and then ran errands. Not such a good idea! Curves usually makes me tired. . .by the end of my 30 minute work out, but Monday it made me tired right away. It did not hurt my incisions, just wore me out. I skipped a few machines that might have caused me problems bc of the bending required and the placement of my incisions. One of them is still not closed up properly. I probobly need to go see the doctor about it. But WHICH ONE?? The one who did the surgery, who has awful bedside manner and is a specialist so my copay is double, the new one I am switching to and saw last week, who is awesome, but also a specialist, or my reg. GP who is good, but I fear he will send me to the specialist anyway and I will have wasted my time and my money, neither of which I can do right now. ARGH!

I am going on a field trip tomorrow with my second graders class. Not sure if that was such a bright idea either after the last few days. I keep having pains in my right side, esp when I get up and I am just so worn out still. About all I can manage everyday is to get the kids fed breakfast, dressed, lunches made, and out the door (on time!) for the bus, and then laundry (cause I can sit down and fold it. . .even though that makes me tired too) and the bare minimum in the kitchen. It is very frustrating to me! I have so much I want and need to do. One of my neighbors offered to come over and clean my house on Saturday with some other people from church and frankly I am happy but also stressed. I am embarrassed by my carpet and the mess that has built up over the past few weeks. I hate not being able to do anything about it. . .I mean not like I am the world best house cleaner on a good day. But, my house is really bad. . .and it annoys me! Oh well, I agreed because I know it needs to be done. I have been trying to take care of myself and this is one way that I can do that. But of course this is still really hard for me. I am not good at taking care of myself. So since the surgery I have been trying to take it easy. That is hard for me.

I am finally being heard!

2006-09-21T22:32:00.000-05:00

Today started out bad with me waking up not feeling well. Coughing achy and generally blah. My husband blessed me by helping get the kids breakfast before school. Then they left and I sat on couch with some hot cocoa and vegged for awhile before I planned on taking a shower and getting ready for my doctors appointment. So I am sitting on the couch finishing watching the Rachael Ray (which is actually pretty good. . .even though her perky personality does annoy me sometime.)show and one of our city water trucks pulls up and proceeds to shut off our water. Apparently we over looked this bill with the whole surgery and just general life with 5 kiddos. ARGH! So I had to go to the water department and pay them what was due, plus a $35 reconnect fee. . .before I could get a shower etc. They are not very forgiving here in our town when it comes to the water bill. No questions no reminders. . .just OFF. So I had to take a check up there and pay them and then wait for the water to be turned back on so I could tak a shower. Then my husband calls just as I am about to take a shower and asks me to have lunch with him before my appointment. That was very nice. I was happy to be able to spend some alone time with him. So I got a little sidetracked with explaining how crappy (with sprinklings of goodness from my wonderful husband) my morning was and I have not gotten to the whole reason behind the title, I am finally heard!

So I get to the doctors appointment and check in and fill in paper work and pay my copay etc. And a few minutes later they call me up to the front desk and ask if it was alright with me if I saw the nurse practitioner instead of the doctor. The doctor was delivering another patients baby via an unexpected c-section and was out of the office still. I had no problem with this and a few minutes later a nurse took me to an exam room and took my vitals and medical history. Then the nurse practitioner came in and she was wonderful! Her name was Bridget. She actually LISTENED to me for about 30 minutes and made me feel like I was worth "fixing" not just annoying and in her way! She even continued to talk to me and not rush me when the nurse told her the hospital was on hold for her. It is so nice to find someone who actually thinks I might have some insight into my own body and care! FINALLY! I will be switching my GYN care to this office for sure!

Greg and Heather's Blog

2006-09-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

Greg and Heather's Blog really funny blog. . .glad my kids are not the only curious ones. . .

Update. . .

2006-09-14T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, at this exact time last week I was having surgery. After a few years of extreme pain that just seemed to get worse with my periods I was finally doing something about it! It was not always this bad for me during my periods. In retrospect it makes sense now to me. I had painful periods all my life and after I started having children it got better. I got pregnant with my first baby at age 19 and then a year later got pregnant again, then 2 years later again, then a year later again and yes, a year later again. That is 5 pregnancies and 5 babies. Now that I read about this nasty thing called endometriosis it all adds up! Pregnancy prevents endometriosis from rearing its ugly head sometimes for a few years. . .not that until after my last baby I gave it that long to come back mind you. Of course I have heard of endometriosis, but I never thought I had it because we got pregnant when we looked at each other it seemed! (okay, so that is a bit of a stretch, but you know what I mean right? We never tried to get pregnant, it just happened. Me infertile. . .yeah right!). It seems that other then that fact that I would not trade my children for anything. . .usually. . .they have helped keep me out of the endometriosis hell for quite some time now. Oh, but endometriosis came back with a vengeance to make up for all the lost time!

The past few years have been awful. I was lucky that my period was only 3 days, esp because recently I spent most of those 3 days either in bed or in the bathroom. . .or on the way from one to the other. I'm talking migraines, heavy bleeding, cramps so painful I just want to die, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and extreme fatigue. My doctors tried some meds to help with the amount of bleeding which did not work. Then they suggested I take part in a study they were doing. That medicine actually worked . . .for the bleeding at least. But I still had all of the other symptoms, like clockwork, every month. And I knew that this medicine would not be available to me when the study was over.

Around April or May of this year I was having a particularly bad period and was trying to lay still in bed to help the migraine. The kids had other plans. . .they were across the hall playing and arguing and yelling. . .and basically just being normal kids you know, but I could not take it anymore. When your head is pounding and if feels like someone is shredding your internal organs. . .something just snaps. So I got up and went into the kids room, where 4 of the 5 kids happened to all be (everyone but the oldest girl) and I looked around for a second and then picked up this deflated soccer ball (similar to the one in the picture, but not as deflated at that one) and I squeezed it with both hands and threw it to the ground and stomped on it. Then I said to the kids "This is what my uterus feels like right now, so SHUT UP and let me rest!" As I walked back into the room and collapsed on the bed again, I heard my 6 year old son say, "Whats a uterus?" That is when I knew I had to do something else to get to the bottom of this pain!

So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to talk about having a hysterectomy done. (time to make lunch for me and grandpa. . .and stretch a bit too. . .still healing from my surgery.)

Okay back. . .a few days later!

So I went to see the doctor and had a pelvic and pap smear done. First of all it was painful, and I have had 5 children. . .so I have had lots of pelvic exams and they were not painful, but this one was, esp when the dr pushed on my uteris! WHY do they do that!! It is not a roll of Charmin here people! He then tells me that my uteris is enlarged and wants me to get an sonogram and see a gyn as well. He is a GP now mostly, he does do OB/GYN stuff and as a matter of fact he is the one who delivered (even though he almost missed the last one) my last 2 kids. But he does not do all the specialized GYN care stuff. So anyway he sent me to see this other doctor. That took a few weeks to get that appointment.

When I saw the GYN, he adviced starting with the D & C and ablation instead of the hysterectomy since that is pretty drastic. So we scheduled the surgery. . .for September! This was JUNE, so that meant waiting for almost 4 months! for some relief (hopefully!). But I had to do something so I scheduled it with him and waited. IN PAIN. I called him almost every month when I was having my period or just after to see if we could move the surgery up or do something else to help me get some relief! Most I got was some Compazine to help me not throw up! So any way a few weeks after seeing the doctor and scheduling another sono to look at what I was told were ovarian cysts again, I was having my period and I just had this tremendous sharp extreme pain, so bad that I could hardly stand up. And fever, and nausea etc. So I called my regular doctor right away who told me to come right in. I also removed my tampon because I thought it might be TSS. When I got to the doctor he examined me and sent me right to the ER because I had what he called referred pain. When he pressed my left side it hurt my right. So I called my husband and then drove myself to the ER.

While at the ER, they gave me drugs. . .so I was not in much pain anymore, just uncomfortable sitting on a hard hospital ER bed with a lovely hospital gown covering up some of my body and using pads instead of tampons ( so I felt unclean...)and waiting. . .and waiting. . .and waiting. . . Apparently there was a HUGE 3 car pile up not far from the ER- it was rush hour when I drove to the ER after all. So my husband got to the hospital awhile later and tests were taken and while we waited for them to do a CT scan we watched the premiere of Hell's Kitchen on Fox. The doctor thought it was a kidney stone attack and said it was prob unnessecary for me to have the CT Scan done etc since I have a history of kidney stones. There was prob a stone cause I had blood in my urine and the fever. Well, duh, I am having my period. When I told him I thought it might have been TSS, he just looked up from his clipboard at me with this look that said, "Oh, another idiot who thinks they know what they are talking about." and said "Are you a nurse or something?" I said no and he then asked me how I knew about TSS and I told him, um I am a woman who has been using tampons since I was in like 5th grade dude. Anyone who has ever seen a box of tampons knows about TSS. Heck I knew about it before I started using tampons cause when I was in the bathroom as a kids I used to read the warning insert to my mom's box of tampons! DUH!!! So anyway, I told him that we were leaving in 2 days to drive to Florida for a wedding and then to Maryland to visit family and I wanted to KNOW exactly what is was so I did not have to worry about it while I was gone. So we did the test and sure enough he tells me that yes, it is a kidney stone. So he sent me home with a prescription for Vicodin and a PAPER strainer to look for the stone. So the next day I went to my doctors office and got a plastic strainer to use instead of a paper one. And for the next several weeks I strained my pee. . .what FUN!! And I had several other times of pain as well. So when I came back from vacation and had not passed the stone I called my Urologist and made an appointment to see him. The day of my appointment I had to fast and do some tests and take the results to him as well as pick up the results from the ER. So I arrive at my Urologists appointment and when he comes in the room he looks at me and says, rather annoyed, "Why are you here?!" And I said I am here because I have a kidney stone that wont pass. (BTW, the last kidney stone I had had me in the ER several times and he finally had to remove it surgically after 2 months of intense pain every week or two!). So he looks at me and says, "you dont have a kidney stone. None of you tests indicate that you have a kidney stone. I think your problem is your ovarian cyst and the ER even said that in their report." So I wasted my time and my money paying a specialist to tell me I was an idiot (and had to pay twice as much to hear it! cause he is a specialist!). So I called my GYN again and after reviewing my latest sono and finding that my cysts had grown even in a few weeks, he added a procedure called a Laproscopy to look at and remove my cysts to my already scheduled surgery. Which of course was still set for September.

Well, we have to head out for a picnic with some friends now. . .if I can wake up my hubby that is. . .LOL. Will finish the saga later. . .

2006-09-10T18:58:00.000-05:00

I am 33 years old and have 5 children ages, 13,12,10 1/2, 7, and 5. A few years after my last child was born my periods got really really bad. Heavy bleeding, 40 tampons in 3 days, and pain that just kept getting worse every month, the whole bowels issues too (even had a colonoscopy last year). For the little over a year I was on a study med here in the US to control the bleeding but it did not control my pain so I opted out of it to see DR and possibly do a hysterectomy or something to help.Saw doctor in May for my normal (albeit a few months late. . .) yearly well woman exam and talk about options. He found my ovary was enlarged. Sono's scheduled and found ovarian cysts. At my consult with the GYN in June he recommended we do a D & C and Ablation, which was scheduled for September 7. A few weeks later, during my period I had such severe pain I thought I was having TSS. Called dr and he told me to come right in (reg, not gyn) he saw me and sent me right to ER. At the ER, I was told it was a kidney stone, which I have a history of. Was sent home with pain meds for kidney stone and told to see my Urologist after my vacation (the next week) if I did not pass the stone. When I came back from the vacation and had not passed the stone I made and appointment with urologist. That day before I saw him I had another set of abdominal and pelvic sonos and kidney x rays etc. When I saw him he looked at me like I was an idiot for being there. He said it was not a kidney stone that is was GYN related. (Apparently my ER records even said that, even though that is NOT what I was told). So I tried to have my procedure moved up with the GYN, too booked to do it. Every period since May has been extremly painful and has had me in bed and/or the doctors office. Finally had my procedure this past thursday. Dr had to remove my whole left ovary and tube because of the endometriosis and says that he will prob have to do a full hysterectomy when I recover from this surgery. I was not diagnosed with endometriosis until Thursday (that was my first laproscopic procedure). I am not surprised by the diagnosis and am glad that finally I know what it is and I am NOT crazy. I go back to the doctor on Monday to talk to him. Of course I have LOTS of questions for him, I was still out of it and he only talked to husband on Thursday. Surgery ended at noon and we did not leave until 3:30 and I was still pretty groggy!

alone

2006-08-31T13:51:00.000-05:00

How is it possible to feel alone in a house with 7 other people? That is how I am feeling lately. Alone. Tired. Worn Out. Lost.

Tired of being tired. . .and sick of being sick. . . .

2006-08-30T22:04:00.000-05:00

That is the story of my life recently. I have not felt like doing ANYTHING at all. I am either so tired or so sick. . .or both! I have no energy or motivation to do things. I think I might have gotten strep from my son. ARGH! Today when the kids left for the bus, I straightened up the kitchen started the dishwasher and went back to bed! When I got up (again) my throat hurt so I made some soup and ate it while I worked on the computer. I was trascribing notes I had taken the other day when I helped my FIL lower his 5 credit card bills. That took awhile. Then the kids came home and I did the afternoon stuff with them. Then made dinner, then crashed again on the couch. . .After awhile I managed to get up and help kids with evening things while cleaning up some of my room. Why does my room always get to be such a mess!?

It is so frustrating! Trying to get it clean so that it stays that way! There is so much I need and want to do and I just dont feel like it. I barely manage to get the basics done everyday! Annoying.

I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. my kids seem to be especially needy. Why is it that they can tell when I am not up to par and that is when they seem to be the worst behaved? I am not looking forward to my surgery this coming week. I just hope they can at least cut me some slack for that.

2006-08-26T19:08:00.000-05:00

So, I just finished making dinner for my family and my friends boys (she has 7). . .well only 2 of them, the other 2 are too young to walk down the street on their own (most of the time that is. . .but that is another story. . .)anyway after I finished my kids asked if the other boys could eat. A quick assessment of the amount told me that it was doable so I said yes. When they called their dad and he agreed. So 2 of the boys and my 4 (oldest is at a friends getting her hair colored. . .also another story. . .) sat down to eat and not long later their is a knock at the door, one more of the boys wants to eat too (he overheard his dad on the phone and hightailed it down here too!

(Okay I am back. . .Just got back from Children's Mercy South Urgent Care where I took my 7 year old and it is official! Yes, he has strep, and YES! We (potentially) passed it on to a LOT of little people today at our friends 2 year old Bday party! You guessed it, that is also another story!)

So eventually we had my 4 kiddos, my Father in law, my sons friend, and my neighbors 5 boys (in total. . .they just kept coming. . .LOL). For the first time tonight I made Chipped Beef Gravy. My kids love "sawmill" or white gravy so I thought I would try the chipped beef gravy and see if the like it! They did. . .so much so that I had to make another batch of it as well as the scrambled eggs . it was a huge hit!

So, why the lego dude pic you ask?

After this wonderful and chaotic meal, where I did not get to eat by the way, I came into my bathroom to find the lego dude in my sink. And considering the fact that I just served 9 males ranging in age from 5 to 83 breakfast (for dinner!) like I was a seasoned diner cook, even! All at the same time realizing that my 7 year old who just a little while ago was bouncing around feeling fine was all of a sudden feeling really sick. All of the hustle and bustle of meal prep could not keep my mind off of the fact that I knew this sneaky pesky germ they call Strep. We have met before, many many times- in me as well as in my children. . .and even, worse still, in my husband! Not only is my mind seeing the waiting at the Urgent Care Clinic for them to tell me the obvious, it is also seeing the very first birthday party our good friends had for their newly adopted child from Columbia who just turned 2! I have the priveledge of being the one to introduce these great people to the joys of calling all of the parents on the inite list to tell them that one of the children has strep throat. These parents who up until July have been a couple of carefree DINKS (Duel Income No KidS). The same parents who not only adopted 2 year old Daniel, but his older sister Julia as well! If only my child had shown symptoms earlier! Then I would not be the one who has to be the bearer of just bad news! "Your party was so much fun! By the way in about a week, your new children who are still getting used to life in America, life with parents who love them and take very good care of them and life where everyone speaks English (their parents speak both english and spanish. . .)might get really really sick and you need to make sure to take them to the doctor if they have fever or sore throat, cause you don't want to let strep throat go untreated! Nice seeing you again! Lets do it again soon, I will be sure to bring the child that has Pink Eye next time!"

Oh well, what are you gonna do? you can know EVERYTHING right!? I know my kids and husband sometimes think I am, but I really am NOT psychic (that word just does not look right. . .but the dictionary says it is spelled right. . .) Oh boy I am off on another tangent now. . .If I keep on like this no one will ever want to read my book! LOL!! That's why we have editors right!?

Anyway, it was just too funny to come into my bathroom and find the lego dude laying there in my sink. . .

with a rock tied around his leg. . .

and his arms taken off. . .

he looks like I feel sometimes. . . .

(you totally understand everything I just wrote if you are a mom, esp if you are the mom of at least one boy!)

Back to school . . .so close. . .yet so far

2006-08-19T16:14:00.000-05:00

I really do not have the idea that all of my problems will magically get better on Tuesday when all 5(. . .yes. . .ALL 5!!!)of my kids will be in school from 8 am until 2:45, but I think my stress level will be a LOT less! Well, there may be more stress in areas. . .like morning time when all of them need to wake up, get breakfast, find shoes, make lunch, get dressed. . .in DIFFERENT, CLEAN clothes, and get out the door in time for the bus on time. But, at least now, I will have some time where I can not be pulled in all directions, not have 5 different kids expecting me to make their world great, maybe be able to get something done around the house, possibly be able to try to make some money doing something from home ( or possible outside the home), and I might be able to find some time to write.

I know that these things are going to take time and most importantly it is going to take me being productive with my new-found "free" time. This sounds weird, even for me to say, okay, especially for me to say, but I am looking forward to being able to take care of our house the RIGHT way (with a LOT of help from Flylady). I am looking forward to the mounds and mounds of laundry, the meal planning, the vacuuming, and yes, even the sweeping and mopping. I have been trying to figure out why that is. . .and the main reason I can come up with is that when I wash, dry, fold and put away clothes. . . they will stay that way for at least a little bit. When I vacuum or sweep. . .it will stay clean for more then 5 minutes! That has been the most frustrating part of trying to tend to the house. When I finish one place or room, I turn around the the one I finished before is now a mess!

I know there are many others who can do it all with a bunch of kiddos under toe, but I am NOT one of them. Esp recently with my medical problems. When I am cramping or have a migraine or experiencing the period from HELL, it is hard for me to do anything. . .most especially hear the constant screaming that a couple of kiddos of mine this summer have taken to sharing with me! It makes it very hard to concentrate on anything when you hear screeching like that all the time.

This made me LAUGH so hard

2006-08-19T16:05:00.000-05:00

Got this in email this morning. . .

Subject: KC Freecycle: Offer mother-in-laws tongue skc

in very nice pot and in good cond. needs some tlc. PU ASAP.

Thanks You.

I laughed so hard at this. . .cause if you knew my mother in law. . .

FUNNY

2006-08-15T19:06:00.000-05:00

This is so funny!!!

Robert as a baby

2006-08-10T14:33:00.000-05:00

That is what the repair man found in the washer. . .a poker chip. . .lodged in the drain pipe. . .which was causing the machine to go bonkers trying to drain it. At least now I can get back to actually washing clothes. Along with making a bday dinner and cake and homemade icing, cleaning the rest of the house for the other bday party here tomorrow, etc etc. . .I just want to take a nap. . .

Not gonna happen today! Oh well, at least the machine is working now.

Not sure what to write. . .

2006-08-09T23:44:00.000-05:00

I am so discontent and out of sorts tonight. I really cant wait for the kiddos to start school. . .although there is still a TON to do before that happens. Create and print the elem school newsletter, shop for back to school supplies and clothes. . .with NO money, do laundry (with a broken machine. . .Best Buy service is coming tomorrow, I swear if he tells me he needs a part I might just punch him!), get back into the routine of going to bed at a reasonable hour so that we can get up at an ungodly one, getting better organized so that mornings are not so hectic and annoying, middle sons bday party is Friday nite ( cant prepare much ahead for that since payday is not until Friday. . .), oldest turns 13 tomorrow ( her list of wants and needs is a MILE long. . .and we have a planned trip to the mall for her bday on sat where I know she will try to guilt me into buying her more then we can afford. . .), my surgery is Sept 7. . .the list is endless and it is really stressing me out.

I am just not very motivated. The kids are being really bad about doing their chores and it stresses me out and makes my life harder. I actually look forward to them being in school all day and me doing their chores (they will still have to do them in the afternoon, but for the most part I will be doing them and it does not bother me. . .cause they will BE OUT OF THE WAY!! so I can actually get something done! That is the plan at least.

I am wanting to get a schedule of meals done too so that I am not so frazzled at dinner time. . .

I am just so tired of feeling like I am alone in this house. . .makes me want to eat chocolate. . .but I will resist (this time. . .at least!) cause I want to loose this stupid weight so I can play softball again and maybe possibly not look like such a fat cow all the time!@ How's that for ranting! I have been good about going to curves and hopefully I will start walking again too. It is just so HOT, even in the morning! Although I have not gotten up early on the non-curves days to actually walk cause I want to sleep in.

My oldest thought she might have a bladder infection so we went to the clinic tonight and she had her first pelvic. . .she was like I am NEVER doing that again! I told her she better get used to it! It is the first of MANY! She asked me if she needed to do that if she did not have babies. I told her yes, once you become sexually active, it is at least once a year baby! I think that scared her! Not that she is remotely interested in sex, she is actually repulsed by it. She was also freaked out when the dr asked her is she was sexually active. . .

Oh well, I should prob go to bed since tomorrow is her bday and we are going to the movies to see Ice Age 2 with some friends and some free tickets AND the repair man will be here to drain and (hopefully!!!!) fix my possessed washing machine. . .Why is it when I was doing so well with laundry, as the new habit for August my new machine decides to flake out. . .I hate getting behind on laundry! It is so annoying!!