Testing this on my phone...lol

Why is it so hard!?!?

The past few months have been so hard! I never would have thought I would be in the position I am in right now. How did I let this happen? I ask my self this almost everyday! I guess I was just too trusting for too long. I need to learn to trust again and I also need to learn to be better judge of character. This person hurt me tremendously and I thought I got over it...but I realized that I did not. The other day I was at a local gas station and a car that I thought was this persons car pulled into a parking space just as I was walking in to pay for my gas. I literally froze and felt myself crouch down as if to hide myself. REALLY!?!?!? How in the HELL does this person have any effect on me anymore?! I have been lied to by this person and thrown away by this person and I was actually frozen with fear at seeing them. UGH! So offer it. I respect myself too much to let this continue. I will not give any more power to this person.

Reevaluating a lot of things right now...

The new year is a time to reevaluate a lot of things in your life; it is a natural time to see what is working and what is not working. I had to start that early this year...about a month and a half early to be exact! But what I have learned is I have been doing some things really right and some things really wrong! LOL. For obvious reasons I will not get too specific about details here to protect the innocent (and not so innocent, lol!)

I was at my son's school the other day (first to volunteer for an assembly where KC Wolf came and talked to the kids and then later that day as a substitute in a special education classroom. I loved the fact that this teacher who teaches using the Love and Logic method had a TON of quotes around her classroom. I wrote down a few (actually I took pictures of most of them and wrote down the name of the author of others so I could reference them later.)

The first one is by Theodore Roosevelt, "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." No explanation needed for that one I think.

The next one is also by Theodore Roosevelt, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." That is a very simple yet powerful statement! My life has been turned on its head over the past couple of months. People who were close to me have made decisions that have had an impact on me and my family as well as our extended friendship circle. These choices were thrust upon us and have raised questions and concerns about our character because of our association with these people. The hard thing is I still count these people as my friends and it hurts me on a daily basis that our friendship has changed so drastically. So I am doing what I can, with what I have, where I am...each day. It is most certainly a daily endeavor.

I have developed an unnatural attachment to these people and God showed me through this whole situation where I was unaturally attached and what was suffering because of it (my marriage and my family). I am trying really hard to reconcile my own actions and character throughout this whole situation and can safely say that I am capable of holding my head up.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (Various sources have attributed this to Elenor Roosevelt while others attribute it to Joseph Joubert either way it is a good quote!) I have tried to explain this to my kids so many times, but not in those exact words. We give other people too much power over ourselves and our feelings and most importantly over our self worth! We should not five up the right to our feelings to someone else because they say so. Just because someone else "says" something does not mean that it is the truth. My circle of responsibility is for dealing with myself and how what I say or do affect others...that is IT! The only person I need to be accountable to is God. Just because certain people have an opinion about me, does not make it the truth.

I am getting tired (physically and emotionally) and I have to take my son out to pick out something for his class at school for his birthday, so one last one for now.

"You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out." Doug Conant...CEO of Campbell's Soup. Again....does not need much explanation...

I am too tired so I am sure this all was disjointed and hard to follow...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

White Chocolate Blueberry Swirl Cheesecakes!

Broccoli Casserole....YUMMY!

This is what we MUST have at Thanksgiving in order for me to be happy with the food! Of course Turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing are all must haves too...but this stuff...is a yummy, awesome tradition in my family! My mom, God rest her soul, made this every Thanksgiving for the family in place of the yucky (in my opinion!) Green Bean Casserole. Over the years I have updated it. My mom used broccoli, cream of mushroom soup, French Fried Onions, and the golden wonder cheese...VELVETTA. Say what you want about Velvetta...it makes the BEST mac and cheese around and is amazing for casseroles ( not to mention Rotel dip...especially the Queso Blanco variety!) Anyway that was it! I first changed mine when I learned to make a roux...seriously if you don't know how to make a roux yet- LEARN, stat! It will change your life! I'm just sayin'! No, really! You know what goes into your roux and it is not filled with preservatives like the canned soups are! You can build whatever flavor profile you want to! Next I thought Caramazied onions would be a nice touch so I caramalized red onions for the top. WOW! This year I had to go even further and I made my own French Fried Onions! Talk about decadent! It is so good! I made this a few days ago and parked it in the freezer to make today. I, of course, had to try a sample so I put some in my small Rachael Ray casserole dish and tried it out with my Bestie, Jana and my friend Jason when were were crafting the other day. It was a hit!

I am thankful for my family! My baby is home from college for a few days and we have all been blessed with (relativly) good health. I am off now to relax a bit with my Kindle...some more prep to come later when I make my cornbread stuffing and mashed potatoes. Everything else is done (although I may end up making some pumpkin pies too...or better yet, get my son to do it!) Ralph is doing the turkey...which is brining right now! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

All I wanted to do was order my son a birthday present...

My intentions were good...but so far the results have been far from good! My oldest son is officially 17 now (for a whole 39 minutes!) and he sometimes (often times...) gets the short end of the stick because he is the second oldest and he is such and easy going guy and does not make waves. I wanted to so something really nice for him for his birthday...and I cannot afford a car (although I am hoping to win one in the McDonald's Monopoly game!) for him so I know he has been wanted Rock Band again...Easy, right?!?!

NOT! I mean really not easy at all! I had a $100 Amazon gift card from a market research study I did for General Mills so I chose to use it all for his gift. As soon as the gift card hit my account I ordered a Rock Band bundle and the next day got a shipping confirmation from the seller. Then the next day I got a cancellation notice. WHAT?!?! Of course I had to wait for the credit to hit my account to order another one. So I ordered another one and got shipping confirmation and it arrived a day early today. I got home from subbing at my sons school and on my porch their was the box...totally not wrapped in anything...a ROCK BAND for XBox Box just announcing to anyone who passed by, "Come steal me!" The potential theft of the aforementioned present aside, I brought it in and waited for my son to get home from play rehearsal to open it.

He opened the box and started unpacking the instruments. He started putting the drums (his favorite part...he is a REAL drummer after all!) together first. All of a sudden he exclaims something (probably cannot write it here...lol) and shows me a ziploc baggie filled with a cord...or rather pieces of a cord. REALLY! what the heck. That did NOT happen in transit! So tomorrow I am shipping this one back and waiting on (ANOTHER!!) credit so I can order him (ANOTHER!!) Rock Band. Poor Zach might get to play Rock Band before his 18th birthday, lol!

Playing catch up. . .again!

It seems like I am always playing catch up! Today I am working on getting my coupons in order for shopping this weekend. And of course as always. . .the house is a mess. What else is new, right? Right now I am going to make some baked goods to send to my "baby" at college tomorrow. I miss her a lot! I am so proud though! More later since I am just avoiding doing what I am supposed to be doing by writing here, lol!

This is it. . .the last week of "summer" vacation. . .

I am so NOT ready for Summer to be over for a lot of reasons!

The first one being the fact that my baby turns 18 tomorrow and leaves for COLLEGE a week later! How in the world did that happen? She was just learning to walk yesterday! We spent the better part of the day yesterday getting her prepped for leaving which meant a lot of shopping! There is still more shopping and lots of packing that needs to happen.

Secondly, I am not ready for setting the alarm clock. . .I like summer where I can stay up late and sleep in late! (unless I have to take my daughter to the Berry Patch!) Now I will have to not only get myself up early but the kids as well! Most of the older ones do it themselves, but I still need to be up, especially since I am going to be a sub this year. . .

Which brings be to the third (but certainly not the last!) reason I am sad to see summer come to an end. . .I will be working again! While the money will be nice I am very nervous about being a sub! It seems like forever ago that I took the class and I just don't know what to expect!

There are so many other reasons I am sad summer is over. . .but I have kids that need attention right now and errands to run and coupons to clip and laundry to do. .. you get the idea! LOL!