Testing this on my phone...lol

Why is it so hard!?!?

The past few months have been so hard! I never would have thought I would be in the position I am in right now. How did I let this happen? I ask my self this almost everyday! I guess I was just too trusting for too long. I need to learn to trust again and I also need to learn to be better judge of character. This person hurt me tremendously and I thought I got over it...but I realized that I did not. The other day I was at a local gas station and a car that I thought was this persons car pulled into a parking space just as I was walking in to pay for my gas. I literally froze and felt myself crouch down as if to hide myself. REALLY!?!?!? How in the HELL does this person have any effect on me anymore?! I have been lied to by this person and thrown away by this person and I was actually frozen with fear at seeing them. UGH! So offer it. I respect myself too much to let this continue. I will not give any more power to this person.

Reevaluating a lot of things right now...

The new year is a time to reevaluate a lot of things in your life; it is a natural time to see what is working and what is not working. I had to start that early this year...about a month and a half early to be exact! But what I have learned is I have been doing some things really right and some things really wrong! LOL. For obvious reasons I will not get too specific about details here to protect the innocent (and not so innocent, lol!)

I was at my son's school the other day (first to volunteer for an assembly where KC Wolf came and talked to the kids and then later that day as a substitute in a special education classroom. I loved the fact that this teacher who teaches using the Love and Logic method had a TON of quotes around her classroom. I wrote down a few (actually I took pictures of most of them and wrote down the name of the author of others so I could reference them later.)

The first one is by Theodore Roosevelt, "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." No explanation needed for that one I think.

The next one is also by Theodore Roosevelt, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." That is a very simple yet powerful statement! My life has been turned on its head over the past couple of months. People who were close to me have made decisions that have had an impact on me and my family as well as our extended friendship circle. These choices were thrust upon us and have raised questions and concerns about our character because of our association with these people. The hard thing is I still count these people as my friends and it hurts me on a daily basis that our friendship has changed so drastically. So I am doing what I can, with what I have, where I am...each day. It is most certainly a daily endeavor.

I have developed an unnatural attachment to these people and God showed me through this whole situation where I was unaturally attached and what was suffering because of it (my marriage and my family). I am trying really hard to reconcile my own actions and character throughout this whole situation and can safely say that I am capable of holding my head up.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (Various sources have attributed this to Elenor Roosevelt while others attribute it to Joseph Joubert either way it is a good quote!) I have tried to explain this to my kids so many times, but not in those exact words. We give other people too much power over ourselves and our feelings and most importantly over our self worth! We should not five up the right to our feelings to someone else because they say so. Just because someone else "says" something does not mean that it is the truth. My circle of responsibility is for dealing with myself and how what I say or do affect others...that is IT! The only person I need to be accountable to is God. Just because certain people have an opinion about me, does not make it the truth.

I am getting tired (physically and emotionally) and I have to take my son out to pick out something for his class at school for his birthday, so one last one for now.

"You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out." Doug Conant...CEO of Campbell's Soup. Again....does not need much explanation...

I am too tired so I am sure this all was disjointed and hard to follow...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

White Chocolate Blueberry Swirl Cheesecakes!

Broccoli Casserole....YUMMY!

This is what we MUST have at Thanksgiving in order for me to be happy with the food! Of course Turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing are all must haves too...but this stuff...is a yummy, awesome tradition in my family! My mom, God rest her soul, made this every Thanksgiving for the family in place of the yucky (in my opinion!) Green Bean Casserole. Over the years I have updated it. My mom used broccoli, cream of mushroom soup, French Fried Onions, and the golden wonder cheese...VELVETTA. Say what you want about Velvetta...it makes the BEST mac and cheese around and is amazing for casseroles ( not to mention Rotel dip...especially the Queso Blanco variety!) Anyway that was it! I first changed mine when I learned to make a roux...seriously if you don't know how to make a roux yet- LEARN, stat! It will change your life! I'm just sayin'! No, really! You know what goes into your roux and it is not filled with preservatives like the canned soups are! You can build whatever flavor profile you want to! Next I thought Caramazied onions would be a nice touch so I caramalized red onions for the top. WOW! This year I had to go even further and I made my own French Fried Onions! Talk about decadent! It is so good! I made this a few days ago and parked it in the freezer to make today. I, of course, had to try a sample so I put some in my small Rachael Ray casserole dish and tried it out with my Bestie, Jana and my friend Jason when were were crafting the other day. It was a hit!

I am thankful for my family! My baby is home from college for a few days and we have all been blessed with (relativly) good health. I am off now to relax a bit with my Kindle...some more prep to come later when I make my cornbread stuffing and mashed potatoes. Everything else is done (although I may end up making some pumpkin pies too...or better yet, get my son to do it!) Ralph is doing the turkey...which is brining right now! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

All I wanted to do was order my son a birthday present...

My intentions were good...but so far the results have been far from good! My oldest son is officially 17 now (for a whole 39 minutes!) and he sometimes (often times...) gets the short end of the stick because he is the second oldest and he is such and easy going guy and does not make waves. I wanted to so something really nice for him for his birthday...and I cannot afford a car (although I am hoping to win one in the McDonald's Monopoly game!) for him so I know he has been wanted Rock Band again...Easy, right?!?!

NOT! I mean really not easy at all! I had a $100 Amazon gift card from a market research study I did for General Mills so I chose to use it all for his gift. As soon as the gift card hit my account I ordered a Rock Band bundle and the next day got a shipping confirmation from the seller. Then the next day I got a cancellation notice. WHAT?!?! Of course I had to wait for the credit to hit my account to order another one. So I ordered another one and got shipping confirmation and it arrived a day early today. I got home from subbing at my sons school and on my porch their was the box...totally not wrapped in anything...a ROCK BAND for XBox Box just announcing to anyone who passed by, "Come steal me!" The potential theft of the aforementioned present aside, I brought it in and waited for my son to get home from play rehearsal to open it.

He opened the box and started unpacking the instruments. He started putting the drums (his favorite part...he is a REAL drummer after all!) together first. All of a sudden he exclaims something (probably cannot write it here...lol) and shows me a ziploc baggie filled with a cord...or rather pieces of a cord. REALLY! what the heck. That did NOT happen in transit! So tomorrow I am shipping this one back and waiting on (ANOTHER!!) credit so I can order him (ANOTHER!!) Rock Band. Poor Zach might get to play Rock Band before his 18th birthday, lol!

Playing catch up. . .again!

It seems like I am always playing catch up! Today I am working on getting my coupons in order for shopping this weekend. And of course as always. . .the house is a mess. What else is new, right? Right now I am going to make some baked goods to send to my "baby" at college tomorrow. I miss her a lot! I am so proud though! More later since I am just avoiding doing what I am supposed to be doing by writing here, lol!

This is it. . .the last week of "summer" vacation. . .

I am so NOT ready for Summer to be over for a lot of reasons!

The first one being the fact that my baby turns 18 tomorrow and leaves for COLLEGE a week later! How in the world did that happen? She was just learning to walk yesterday! We spent the better part of the day yesterday getting her prepped for leaving which meant a lot of shopping! There is still more shopping and lots of packing that needs to happen.

Secondly, I am not ready for setting the alarm clock. . .I like summer where I can stay up late and sleep in late! (unless I have to take my daughter to the Berry Patch!) Now I will have to not only get myself up early but the kids as well! Most of the older ones do it themselves, but I still need to be up, especially since I am going to be a sub this year. . .

Which brings be to the third (but certainly not the last!) reason I am sad to see summer come to an end. . .I will be working again! While the money will be nice I am very nervous about being a sub! It seems like forever ago that I took the class and I just don't know what to expect!

There are so many other reasons I am sad summer is over. . .but I have kids that need attention right now and errands to run and coupons to clip and laundry to do. .. you get the idea! LOL!

My favorite time of day. . .

Right now my house is quiet...well all but the bazillion fans I have running to try and keep our house cool in this 100+ degree Missouri Summer heat wave and of course the smoke detector chirping because I forgot (again!) to put a new battery in it!

I love this time of night because my normally chaotic and loud house is calm and quiet. . .something I only experience when everyone is gone or after midnight! Although in summer time it happens less because my kids think summer means they do not have to go to bed at any particular time!

This time of night I can get work done, like finally cleaning off and wiping down the table, loading the dishwasher, clipping coupons, and listing items for sale on Amazon! Sure I could have done these things earlier in the day, but it never seems to work out that way between driving this one here and that one there. Then there is also the phone calls, sick kids, whiny neighbors and hungry husbands to deal with as well!

I don't know what it is about this time of the day. . .but I just seem to get more work done at this time. My best friend and I call it "working well under pressure" when we end up doing out finest work in the wee hours of the morning the day of a deadline or event! What ever it is, I will bask in the glow of the ceiling fan that is missing one light and has a slight wobble for a few more minutes while I check out Facebook one last time, see if Amazon has any new, interesting. . .and free Kindle books for me to download (I found this one the other day and could not pass it up. . .especially with a price tag of FREE!), or see if it is my turn in one of the six Scrabble games I am currently playing (and mostly loosing) on my Evo and then head to bed finally.

My coupons

I really should be clipping coupons right now. . .but I am avoiding it by blogging about my coupon organizational system, lol! I used to use the binder method, but my pages kept coming out of rings and while it was awesome to be able to flip right to a coupon when I saw something on clearance, it was a pain to clear our expired coupons. So I wanted something different where I could keep all of my coupons with me every time I shop and I went to a box. It is like a shoe box, but it is actually a Tupperware container that was intended for holding pictures. It fits right in the child seat of a grocery cart...unlike my binder which would not always fit in the carts and would slide around and get messed up. So I will see how this one goes for awhile. . .I will let you know! Right now I guess I need to actually clip and file the coupons that I have been printing this week as well as the 6 copies of 4 inserts I have from this past Sunday's paper...

Has it really been that long. . .WOW!

I cannot believe it has been so long since I last updated my blog. . .what the heck am I saying. . .I can totally believe it! This past year has been like my life always is. . .BUSY, CRAZY, and NEVER a dull moment! Here is a picture my friend took at my Besties daughter's birthday party. It is an awesome picture of my son Robert. . .who has sense gotten his hair trimmed.

There have been two graduations in our house (3 if you count the preschool graduation where I used to work and HAD to not only attend but also help the kids practice for, lol!)! I graduated with an associates degree in Paraprofessional Education from the University of Phoenix in May (finished in March) and my oldest daughter graduated in the top of her class from Belton High School in May! I was working at a preschool in our district but chose to stop working there to be a substitute "full time" within the same district. I want to have more time to be able to volunteer at my children's schools (all 4 of them) more often and when I was working from 10 AM until 6 PM (if the parents were on TIME that is) it was next to impossible for me to volunteer.

One child has their drivers licence and a car and another has a car and will be taking the driving test this week. . .again. My 3 oldest kids all have jobs! Cat still works at Tarjay and Zach and Maeghan work at the Berry Patch (seasonal work, but it helped him get a car and her build up her savings so the rest of us can borrow money)

This coming school year is an "odd" year again. I will have a 5th, 7th, 9th, and 11th grader (all at different schools!!!) as well as a freshman in college (WTF!)! The kids are involved in drama, service learning, choir, A-team, student government, Boy Scouts, and more.

I am working hard at getting my couponing back in full swing since I not only have a family of 7 I also have one in college (and four more right on her heels) and my own student loans to pay off. There is always something going on around here.

I am not on any PTA board this coming year, but I am sure I will still be involved. I am going to be helping with Learning Communities again this year at the 5th and 6th grade center and My BESTEST BESTIE in the whole wide world will be not only volunteering for our 9th graders school occasionally but we have ideas of starting our own business in some sort of way. . .we just have not narrowed down our ideas yet! Right now I have a ton of coupons to catch up with from this week (both printed from the computer and from the papers- there were 4 inserts this week!) before they get too out of hand! I cannot get behind again!

Whirlwind couple of months. . .

Over the past couple of months I have been really side-tracked as I focused creating recipes for a cooking contest called The Real Women of Philadelphia sponsored by Philadelphia Cream Cheese and Paula Deen.

The contest was an 8 week long recipe contest where women (hence the name of the contest. . . lol) create recipes and make videos and submit them to the contest. 16 finalist were chosen and at the end of this month 4 finalists will be chosen out of those 16 finalists. There will be a live cooking even broadcast live on the internet where all of the wonderful finalists will be cooking. I really wanted to be one of them. I worked on a lot of recipes and stressed about it and submitted at least one recipe each week.

I have gotten the cooking contest bug. I love creating recipes and I really really love cooking. I would love for this love of cooking that I to translate into a career or maybe a cookbook or something! I did not get chosen as a finalist although I did get some recognition from Ms. Paula herself. . .here is the link! My buddy Jana helped me through the whole process and I am very glad that she stuck by me even when I was cranky!

Jana actually gave me the idea to keep creating recipes, but to blog about them instead of doing the contest thing. So I am thinking about it. Right now I am stuck in Grey's Anatomy world though. . .lol and have almost caught up! Ah. . .got to love summer vacation and no alarm clocks! So I may do more blogging and recipe creations and blogging about recipe creations and maybe even some more how to videos that are not tied down to having to include one thing! In my free time that is. . .ha ha

Holiday shop, sleeping in, and kidney stones!

It must be Thanksgiving! Jana and I are in full fledged Holiday Shop prep mode. Last week we spent hours on the phone while looking through items for the holiday shop online. One of us would find and item and tell the other one the items number to look up, I think we each had a billion different windows opened while we laughed at some of the weird items we found, like this one. Really, who does not need a Spooky Toilet Paper holder? I mean at least you are in the right place when you get the crap scared out of you! *ducks*.

We had a blast looking at items and I was afraid to look at my shopping cart because I kept adding stuff to our cart. We figured we could clear out some of the stuff and we did. . .although we did spend over $1000 on items for the shot though. We did good and got some great items for the kids. Next week we will be pricing items, trying to get volunteers to help us and organizing the holiday shop.

I am looking forward to sleeping in for 5 days straight! NO ALARM CLOCK!!! Whoo-hoo!!! I tried to sleep in this past Saturday, but ended up in the emergency room at 6:30 am. Not cool at all! Not sure yet what is wrong, I think it is another kidney stone. The ER doctor said that all of my blood, urine and CT tests were "clear" and sent me home with 4 prescriptions. I am very thankful for the medicine that I got in the hospital because I went from a pain level of 10 to a 1 or 2. Hopefully I will not have any more problems. The next day I had an MRI for my migraines. . .that was fun. I felt like a burrito in that MRI machine and I am very glad that I did not get stuck in it. . .ROFL! Well since I am under the influence of mind altering meds and it is late, I am going to finish for how. I hope that this all made sense. . .lol.Time for bed.

The Drummond's did not disappoint!

Well, it is hard to believe, but exactly 24 hours ago, two of my best friends and my daughter and I arrived at Unity Temple on the Country Club Plaza to see Ree Drummond, better known as "The Pioneer Woman". To say that we enjoyed ourselves would be an understatement! We had a blast! We acted like giddy school girls. . .well one of us still is a giddy school girl, but you know what I mean. Even though there was cold, dreary rain outside, we enjoyed ourselves so much.

It was like Christmas for us! Even though we already had our numbers tickets for the book signing portion, we wanted to get there early to get a good seat for the event. And my good, I mean, close. Those seats were very uncomfortable! And for those of us that are fluffy, well. . .they were downright torture! But knowing we were actually breathing the same air as Ree (and Marlboro Man!!!) was worth every minute (and by the time we left there were over 400 minutes!!!) My friend Karen, literally skipped to the car when my daughter and I picked her up! She got in the front seat and clapped

her hands in excitement and looked at me and squealled! Then, noting my earrings, she leapt from the car yelling, "I forgot earrings!!!". ROFL. Did she think that Ree would kick her out if she did not have earrings? Ha ha, seriously, though Ree does have some awesome taste in earrings (and jewelery in general I might add). After Karen jumped back in the car, with her earrings, we were off to pick up Jana.

Jana was all dolled up and ready to go! She said in her Facebook status that afternoon and I quote, "Dear Pioneer Woman, I am

so excited to see you. I have put more effort into my hair, makeup, and clothes than when I am going out with my husband. And you're not even putting out. =o)" Jana is funny like that. Here is a picture of her after we arrived. . .cute, huh!?

After a quick stop for Advil and drinks ( the non-alcholic kind. . .lol) we were on our way to the Plaza. Not even the cold rain and threat of the first snow of the season could dampen our moods! My Google Maps directions were fail, but luckily I had 2 gals with me or navigated us exactly where we needed to go with 15 minutes to spare! We parked in the covered garage at Unity Temple and made our way inside where about 15-30 people were already in line waiting for the doors to open. Jana stood in line while we filled out our tickets for the door prizes and asked about where we could eat our picnic. We were told the lobby would be fine, but not the sanctuary. We were just glad we did not have to eat in the rain!

Maeghan, my daughter and Karen left Jana and I to save our seats while they went window shopping on the plaza for a bit. They missed the arrival of Marlboro Man(MM) and Ree's boys! I know, it is not in focus. . .but we were caught by surprise! One minutes all of us ladies (and a couple of men too!!) were waiting patiently for 7 pm to come so we could listen to Ree speak. . .then the next minute. . .MM comes in carrying a huge bag like it was a feather! The whole room was in a state of shock. I grabbed my camera as quick as I could (I had literally JUST put it away!) and snapped this picture. When MM came back in with another bag of shirts, you would have thought a major movie star was arriving on the red carpet with all of the flashbulbs going off! There were even a few cat calls!

At this point I might have been the only one who knew what he was carrying! I happened to be in Rainy Day Books earlier that day picking up our 3 copies of the cookbook when the owner, Vivian Jennings, called the store to announce that MM was giving every one who was at the evening event a Pioneer Woman t-shirt! They are so very cool, but I digress. (What else is new, right?)

I called Karen to tell her that if MM was there, then Ree was not far behind (she does like to follow his behind after all. . .) and that they should hurry back. After a few minutes we were all seated, with about 1000 other adoring fans eagerly awaiting the arrival of Ree.

Following a few minute introduction and instruction session, Vivian Jennings, brought out Ree and they sat in comfy ( well they looked comfy at least) chairs from Will Wyatt's Cowboy Couture. Vivian asked Ree questions that the audience that had been submitted a few minutes earlier. There was much laughter at some of the questions and even more laughter at some of Ree's answers. Ree even channeled Ethel Merman at the end. . .of course right after I turned off my video camera! ACK! Man those Drummond's know how to avoid having any photographic evidence! LOL!

The boys helped their mom with the door prizes. Here is how one of them helped. (click on the word helped) This picture was taken by MM himself! This next picture is almost the same exact picture, but from my perspective and taken with my crappy camera! One of these days I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a camera as nice as PW's!

I have video of the boys balancing the gift basket that had ceramic tea cups in them on their hands like they were walking a tight rope. . lol. The crowd was amused and I am sure that P-dub was mortified! So stinkin' cute! I was disappointed that none of my friends won a prize. BTW, what ever happened to the KitchenAide Mixer? There was supposed to be one in the drawing. I guess we should not complain, since we all got t-shirts, but I really wanted a bigger KitchenAide (and Jana wanted my older one! )

I bought one of my books over a month ago, so I had 2 tickets that were relatively low numbers, 155 and 156. So Jana and I were in the 4th group to go up and get our cookbooks signed. I went to the car and brought back the picnic basket and we has our dinner in the lobby while we were waiting for our turn. Maeghan and Karen's numbers were 509 and 541 I think, so they had a REALLY LONG wait. Actually we all did since we waited together.

While we waited we got to see:

• Marlboro Man signing books
• The boys 'rastling- a LOT ( reminded me of my boys without the boots!)
• lots of cute little babies with headbands
• April from Coal Creek Farm
• 1 other person on their laptops (we brought ours b/c we knew it would be a long night)
• Ree greeting each person very sweetly. . .down to the very last one.

Here is a link to the rest of the pics. . .I do not know why they are not posting right. Karen's camera is better so she will have some more pics too. I am especially looking forward to seeing the one of April taking pictures. She looked like a giraffe trying to take a picture of a mouse! Right now I have to go be the mom and get my boys cleaned up and do some laundry. At least the laundry is easy with Purex 3 in 1 sheets!

Pioneer Woman is coming to town. . .

. . .and we are going to meet her and get our cookbooks signed. We are extremely excited to go to the Girls Night Out Event at Unity Temple. I will be posting pictures tomorrow night or possibly on Tuesday. I am still deciding whether or not to let my 2 daughters come with me. The older one does not want the younger one to come and I (and the other ladies) do not want our evening to me ruined by squabbling children.

I just came back from the viewing for a friends 19 year old son who took his life on Sunday. I just do not know how to process all of this. I wish I had the words to say to help this family deal with this profound loss that they are going through right now. There is no way I can understand what this family is going through. It has been tough on me recently and I have been so stressed that I have thought about ending it all. When I started thinking these thoughts I went to the doctor right away. Seeing what this family is going through makes my problems seem so small.

I am so blessed that I have such great friends who have helped me. I have taken a break from school until around the first of the year and I have been working with the doctors to see if we can figure out what is causing my migraines. Already the break from school has helped me to relieve some stress. Now if only I could find a job to help relieve some of the money stress that would be awesome! One thing at a time I guess.

Right now I am waiting for Cat and Zach to get home from opening night of the musical Honk. I think we will go see it on Saturday or Sunday.

The Lord is our Protector

Do you believe that? I do, although many times I "forget" that I do.

Today, while I was in church, when the pastor gave us the scripture reference I flipped past a tattered tract that I keep in my bible as a reminder that "The Lord is Our Protector" (that is the title of the tract). The tract is a small slip of glossy paper about the size of a dollar bill. I remember when I got this I felt like God himself was speaking directly to my heart.

(I did not intend for this to be another "birth story", but it is. . .not graphic though. . .lol)

On a cold day in January 1997 I went into labor with Maeghan, my third child. My daughter Catherine was 5 and Zachary was 4. We dropped Catherine and Zachary off on the way to the hospital at a friends house. After arriving at the hospital and getting all checked in, we settled into the hospital excited about welcoming our newest Thomas into the world! I should have known that this delivery would not like first two were since the pregnancy was nothing like the first two. I did not have 1 day of being sick with the first two pregnancies, but with this third one I was sick for 6 months straight!

I was laying on my side all hooked up to monitors and the nurse left the room to check on other patients because I was only 3 centimeters along. My doctor was somewhere else in the hospital calling to cancel a procedure he had scheduled so that he could be available to deliver the baby. We all thought that the delivery would go quickly since my first two has gone fairly fast. Ralph was sitting in a chair next to the bed rubbing my arm when a contraction came on. I looked at him and said something like "It's time" or "the baby is coming". He kept stroking my arm and agreed, "I know she will be here soon" or something, to which I responded, "No, you don't understand. I mean NOW. Go get the nurse, the baby is coming!" He looked a little surprised, but was spurred into action by the grip I had on his arm because of the intense contraction!

The nurse walked into the room (way too slowly, lol!) and sweetly said to me (like I was a child who had not clue what I was saying) "So you think the baby is coming?"

DUH!!! Sometimes I wonder where they get these people!

"Well, lets check!" she said, unconvinced that I had a clue as to what I was talking about. After all she went to nursing school, I had only had 2 children already and was the one in LABOR! The nurse helped my turn very ungracefully onto my back so she could see how many centimeters dilated I was now.

This is when I wished I had a video camera for her reaction. She practically screamed, "There's the head"

You think? Maybe I do know what is going on with MY OWN BODY!!!!!

So the next several minutes were a flurry of activity that would have been comical if I was not in agonizing pain! There was no time for an epidural or any kind of pain medicine. Heck there was barely time for the doctor to put his surgical gloves on!

Maeghan was born after 1 push! I could tell right away that something was not right as the baby was taking over to the warmer. The doctor continued to work on me and was stitching me up as the pediatrician worked on Maeghan. A few minutes later Maeghan was taken to the NICU. I had never not been able to hold my baby right away. I wanted to run to be with her, but I could not since the doctor had to stitch me up (Maeghan was 9 pounds 9 ounces and I pused once, so there was a lot of tearing), so Ralph went to be with her in the NICU.

Turns out Maeghan had TTNB or Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn from being born too fast! Normally the fluid in the baby's lungs gets "squeeszed" out during delievery, but there was not enough time for that to happen with Maeghan. I was not allowed to get out of bed to go see Maeghan for what seemed like forever because I was not allowed to walk since I had just given birth.

I was not prepared for what I did see when I finally was wheeled into the NICU. Among all of the tiny preemie babies was Maeghan, who looked like the linebacker of the NICU- with a cake plate over her head (or at least that is what it looked like!) and iv's in her head and tubes in her nose and montitors hooked up all over her! Maeghan ended up staying in the NICU for several days getting antibiotics and breathing treatments and has no lasting effects from the TTNB.

Ok, all of that long story to tell you where I was in my life when I got this tract. It was the morning after Maeghan was born and I was alone in the hospital. Ralph was home with Catherine and Zachary and Maeghan was in the NICU. I did not have any family close. With my breakfast tray came a small paper folded in half. On the front was beautiful mountain scene reflected in a blue lake and the title "The Lord is Our Protector". I am sure that the hospital worker who put that tract there did not know about my story, but God did. He knew I was scared and He met me where I was. I opened up the tract and read it.

The Lord is Our Protector

I look to the hills!
Where will I find help?
It will come from the Lord,
Who Created the Heavens and the earth.

The Lord is your protector,
and he won't go to sleep or let you stumble
The protector of Israel doesn't doze or ever get drowsy.

The Lord is your protector,
there at your right side to shade you from the sun.
You won't be harmed by the sun during the day
or the moon at night.

The Lord will protect you
and keep you safe from all dangers.
The Lord will protect you
now and always wherever you go.

Psalm 121

WOW! I replaced the words "You" and "I" with "Maeghan" and prayed that prayer over and over. I felt like I could rest and let God take care of Maeghan, something I did NOT do the night before!

I have gone back to these words many times in the past 12 and a half years.

• Just a year later when Maeghan literally almost died from a virus (that is another post!)
• When Zach broke his leg
• The time Chris needed stitches
• The 4 (yes, 4!) times Robert needed stitches (all before his 3rd birthday!)
• In the ambulance with Zach on our way to Children's Mercy when he was only 6 and had a severe kidney infection
• In another ambulance with Robert who was spitting up blood after he fell
• Driving to Maryland when my mother was dying
• watching Wally die just six months later from the same disease
• and so many many other times

Lord, I ask for your Protection right now for my family.

Protect Ralph, Catherine, Zachary, Maeghan, Christopher, and Robert from the flu that is causing them to be sick with fever and fatigue. Ease their coughing and cool their fevers.

I lift up Jana, Josh, Bailey and Charlee. Touch them right now Lord. Take the pain away from Jana. Calm the cough and allow them to rest peacefully.

Take away the vomiting from Jessi and protect the rest of her family from the virus, Lord.

Watch over everyone else who has come into contact with the germs from this virus and keep them well. Lord, Thank You for reminding me that YOU will protect me and my family.

Good Eats!

I love cooking, but sometimes I am just too busy to cook like I should. Today was not one of those days! I started out the day by making an Apple and Pecan Crescent Tart. It was pretty good, I will make it better next time though since this was my first time experimenting with it. My "inspiration" for this dish was Cracker Barrel's baked apples. They are SO AMAZING! Since I had to go to the airport last week I made a side trip to Cracker Barrel since it is right next to the airport and the airport is an hour from my house! I brought home an order of baked apples, hash brown casserole and Sawmill gravy. Yeah. . .that is the stuff!

For lunch today I am having roasted veggies. I cut up zuchinni, onion, and potatoes and drizzled them with some olive oil and Zach's seasoning (he makes it himself and I don't even know exactly what is in it and the amounts!) Bake in a super hot oven and then eat. . .YUMMY! Very good for breakfast with a couple of over easy eggs on top!

I guess I better start thinking about dinner, huh?

16 years ago today…

16 years ago today, my oldest daughter was born at Shady Grove Adventist hospital. I had gone early in the day with "pre-term" labor and was sent home to "rest" for a little bit before coming back to the hospital. While Ralph rested I ate some scrambled eggs and toast and called everyone to tell them I was having the baby! When the contractions got closer together we made our way back to the hospital. My parents were there, his parents were there, my sister, my brother and sister in law, my niece, our good friends and the god parents of Catherine (and the other 4 children that came after!), and Eric and Betsy were there. The labor was fairly easy, for the most part. At some point most of the people waited in the waiting room for news. The doctor assured us that there would be "hours" until the baby was delivered, so Ralph went to Red Lobster with Eric and Betsy. After all it was down the street only a few miles and he had his beeper on, so he could be reached if we needed him.

Sometime before he came back and after I had gotten my epidural, I started paging him because I was in a lot of pain. Not just pain with contractions mind you . . . but constant pain! The anestisiaologis told me it was because I had a "window" where the epidural could not get to. Great, I thought the epidural was supposed to help the pain, not make it worse! Since Ralph was not back yet and had not answered my pages (and there were MULTIPLE pages!), I had my mom come in with me when I had to start pushing. I pushed for days until Ralph finally arrived! Okay, really, it was about 20 minutes, but it seemed like days!

Apparently Ralph, Eric and Betsy were enjoying a leisurely dinner confidant in the knowledge that I would page them if I needed them. This was before cell phones were EVERYWHERE, folks. So, they figured no news was good news! When they were leaving the restaurant and Ralph went to see what time it was, he noticed the missed pages and they rushed back to the hospital.

So I had Ralph on one side and my mom on one side and I pushed for about 30 or so minutes more. I still had constant pain. The anestisiologis tried to compensate by pushing the epidural, but it did not work, I still had constant pain on one side. Finally, Catherine Elizabeth Thomas was born! I was so excited and could not take my eyes off of her- what a miracle! And what a relief to have her out! You moms all know what I mean! So while the doctor did his "stuff", I enjoyed my daughter! At some point, Ralph went out to the waiting room to tell everyone the good news.

One thing you need to know is I have negative RH factor, which means the placenta needs to be checked to see if the baby also has it. It is not a big deal, but something that needs to be taken care of, especially if I wanted to have any more babies. So the doctor made sure to get the placenta to the lab for testing.

So, while I am in the room with Catherine and my mom, Ralph is in the waiting room telling my family and friends about our daughter being born. As they are ALL there listening to Ralph, an orderly comes out to the nurses' station and PLOPS a Ziploc bag with my placenta in it and very loudly says, "This is the Thomas Placenta that needs to be taken to the lab for testing immediately!" You can only imagine the reaction of my whole family, it is probably the same one you are having right now! Let's face it, we woman want to keep our placentas private!

So after the shock of seeing more than they ever wanted to see, my family and friends came into my room and met Catherine. We spent about an hour or so talking and enjoying each other's company. Then everyone went home. Ralph went to the nursery with Catherine while she got some shots and tests, normal newborn stuff. When he came back to my delivery room it was time to transfer me to the recovery room. The nurse, who was about 75 pounds soaking wet, asks me if I can get into the wheelchair from the hospital bed. Good grief, that is easy I thought! So of course, I told her sure!

Little did any of us realize the implications of all of that extra epidural I was given. . .

So, here is the scene, just so you are clear about it. There is Ralph, who is over 6 feet tall and over 250 pounds and a nurse who was probably about 1/3 my size standing on either side of the wheelchair waiting to help me from the hospital bed to the chair. So here I am on the edge of the bed and let's just say I was not tiny (we do not need to get into numbers here do we?) and I had just given birth less than 3 hours before. I slowly slid to the side of the hospital bed being careful not to flash anyone since I had a hospital gown on. As I try to put my feet on the ground to basically stand up and turn around into the waiting wheelchair, I do not realize that I had NO FEELING in my right leg because of the epidural! So what happens? You guessed it! My right foot hit the ground first and just buckled under me because I could not feel it! But, do I fall to the ground like a normal person? Ha! No way! On the way to the ground my lovely, fashionable mesh underwear that I was given in the hospital gets stuck on the side of the hospital bed! I am literally hanging about 2 inches off of the ground! Ralph tries to help me by ripping the panties off of the bed, and I fall the remaining 2 inches to the floor. The tiny little, slip of a nurse was totally useless to help me, so Ralph came up in front of me to try to help me stand up. Squatting down and putting his arms under mine, he wrapped his arms around me and told me he was going to stand up. As we stood up I told Ralph I did not feel well. He said that was okay and continued to stand up with me.

Then I fainted! Yep, that's right, as my poor husband was squatting down helping me up; I became DEAD WEIGHT and caused him to fall back into the wheelchair. Ralph broke my fall, but he fell right into the wheelchair. Knocking it backward with a very loud crash. I remember waking up on the floor and shaking uncontrollably. I looked around and saw Ralph on the ground, the nurse looking like a deer in headlights and several other hospital personnel standing at the door (they had come running when they heard the noise). One of the people standing at the door was the anesthesiologist who gave me so much epidural and I just looked at him and said, "Well, you did a good job!" I had to be picked up and put back in the hospital bed. Needless to say, I stayed in the bed and was wheeled to the recovery room!

I called my mom to come back up to the hospital and Ralph went to the ER. He stayed in my room that night on a cot.

I am always looking for other moms on the web who are interested in the same things I am. . .found another today. . .Take a look at The Dirty T-shirt for yourself!

Confession(s)

    

Ok, so my first confession is that in the time it took me to open up Microsoft Word, type the title "Confession(s)", and start writing this blog entry I forgot what confession I was going to blog about! That could be partly because I was distracted by: My husband coming into the kitchen opening up the fridge and asking why no on ate the chicken yet (and then proceeding to heat it up for his breakfast lunch), my youngest son coming into the kitchen and asking if he could have the rest of the pancakes I had just finished making, my oldest daughter coming into the kitchen and asking me where all the pancakes were (to which I replied, "In the container, just add water and mix!"), then other son coming into the kitchen asking if he could watch the Redbox movie we rented for free last night from Hy-Vee, my daughter responding to my husband who noticed her "Debate" t-shirt (it is NOT hers, it is a friends) "I am not on Debate! Debate ruins your life! You have to do Debate every weekend. . .(insert more debate bashing/ranting here)" to which I replied, "That's different from Drama, how?", and no less than 25 other interruptions. . .what I was talking about again?

Wow, I think that I would fail English is I wrote a run on sentence like that in a paper! But that is what my life it, a long run on sentence, filled with "rabbit-trails" and interruptions! No wonder I am always staying up until 2 am finishing school work! Right now the oldest is asking to be taken out for driving and parking practice. Like I can do that right now with 4 assignments due to day (ok, 2 are due tomorrow, but they are bigger assignments that I need to work on today), children that need to be fed, a house that needs to be cleaned, laundry that needs to be washed, dried, folded, and put away (like that ever happens!), dinner that needs to be taken care of (what do I get out of the freezer and make that will make "most" of the family happy), go to the school to help my PTA Wife run off some copies, clean out the sunroom, clean out the fridge (I am sure there is a science experiment in there somewhere. . . ), feed the kids lunch…maybe parking practice with a moody teenager in a FULL SIZE van would be relaxing. . .

Confession number two: I still don't remember what confession I was going to write about. . .

Confession number three: I need a nap now. . .