Monday, March 19, 2012
The past few months have been so hard! I never would have thought I would be in the position I am in right now. How did I let this happen? I ask my self this almost everyday! I guess I was just too trusting for too long. I need to learn to trust again and I also need to learn to be better judge of character. This person hurt me tremendously and I thought I got over it...but I realized that I did not. The other day I was at a local gas station and a car that I thought was this persons car pulled into a parking space just as I was walking in to pay for my gas. I literally froze and felt myself crouch down as if to hide myself. REALLY!?!?!? How in the HELL does this person have any effect on me anymore?! I have been lied to by this person and thrown away by this person and I was actually frozen with fear at seeing them. UGH! So offer it. I respect myself too much to let this continue. I will not give any more power to this person.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
The new year is a time to reevaluate a lot of things in your life; it is a natural time to see what is working and what is not working. I had to start that early this year...about a month and a half early to be exact! But what I have learned is I have been doing some things really right and some things really wrong! LOL. For obvious reasons I will not get too specific about details here to protect the innocent (and not so innocent, lol!)
I was at my son's school the other day (first to volunteer for an assembly where KC Wolf came and talked to the kids and then later that day as a substitute in a special education classroom. I loved the fact that this teacher who teaches using the Love and Logic method had a TON of quotes around her classroom. I wrote down a few (actually I took pictures of most of them and wrote down the name of the author of others so I could reference them later.)
The first one is by Theodore Roosevelt, "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." No explanation needed for that one I think.
The next one is also by Theodore Roosevelt, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." That is a very simple yet powerful statement! My life has been turned on its head over the past couple of months. People who were close to me have made decisions that have had an impact on me and my family as well as our extended friendship circle. These choices were thrust upon us and have raised questions and concerns about our character because of our association with these people. The hard thing is I still count these people as my friends and it hurts me on a daily basis that our friendship has changed so drastically. So I am doing what I can, with what I have, where I am...each day. It is most certainly a daily endeavor.
I have developed an unnatural attachment to these people and God showed me through this whole situation where I was unaturally attached and what was suffering because of it (my marriage and my family). I am trying really hard to reconcile my own actions and character throughout this whole situation and can safely say that I am capable of holding my head up.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (Various sources have attributed this to Elenor Roosevelt while others attribute it to Joseph Joubert either way it is a good quote!) I have tried to explain this to my kids so many times, but not in those exact words. We give other people too much power over ourselves and our feelings and most importantly over our self worth! We should not five up the right to our feelings to someone else because they say so. Just because someone else "says" something does not mean that it is the truth. My circle of responsibility is for dealing with myself and how what I say or do affect others...that is IT! The only person I need to be accountable to is God. Just because certain people have an opinion about me, does not make it the truth.
I am getting tired (physically and emotionally) and I have to take my son out to pick out something for his class at school for his birthday, so one last one for now.
"You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved your way into. You have to behave your way out." Doug Conant...CEO of Campbell's Soup. Again....does not need much explanation...
I am too tired so I am sure this all was disjointed and hard to follow...