Sunday, September 14, 2008

Reflection

Wow. One year ago tomorrow my FIL passed away. I still can't believe it. It was such a surprise when he fell and then when they found the cancer. It was only a month from his fall until his death. So much changed in that short. . . and long. . .month! I really had not fully processed my mothers death, actually I am not really sure if I have now, almost 2 years later!

I still feel tremendously guilty about starting to work at the school last year. It seems like right after I started the you know what hit the fan! I mean literally, I got the call about his fall while I was at the first staff meeting for the school. I still seem to be filled with fear when I think about it. I am very reluctant to actually take another job too for fear something similar will happen. Not that I am just over-run with a lot of "extra" free time or anything. I am over-run with a LOT of bills though. . .amazing how everyone wants their money at the same time. . .lol!

I am sure that I need to talk to someone and try to move past this, but I just don't have the desire or the time!

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