Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Going so many different directions. . .

. . .I sometimes don't even know what end is up! I never know when I wake up if I will be too weak to do what I need to do throughout the day. . .much less what I WANT to do. My RA usually acts up 2 days a week, but it is not like I get a warning the night before or something so that I could plan for it. No, that would be too easy! Of couse I suppose there may actually be warning signs, but I am just too frikin' tired and sore to notice or care!

My girls and I have been going to Curves. I have been going since last May. They went for free in the summer time. Just last week my oldest (13) said she wanted to go so I signed them up. Before they could change their mind. . .lol!

I started taking a new med for my RA, an NSAID, and it makes me kind of tired. . .just what I need! Today I had breakfast with a friend then we went (NON) plant shopping (too early apparantly) at Home Depot. On the way home I stopped for bread. When I got home I crashed in bed. It was 11:15, I did not get up until 3:35! The the kids came home and I put dinner in the oven (THANK GOD for Stouffers Lasagna!) and sat on the couch. I did manage to fold a load of clothes. . .it took me a few hours it seems but I did it! I don't know if it is the medicine, but my heart was also racing a lot too.

There is SO MUCH I need to be doing around here, but it seems like I am only managing the minimum at the moment. Good thing I have a friend coming Friday to help me clean. Which means tomorrow I have to get ready for her. . .lol.

I have been posting on a cancer support group for people who have losted loved ones to cancer. That has helped some, but I know that I have barely scratched the surface of what I should be dealing with. I am going back to Maryland for Easter. Just me, on a plane. I have already upset the delicate balance that my sister has created though, and I have not even gotten there! She is upset that I mentioned the big Easter get together to my Aunt and that she is planning on attending. Thing is when I was there in January I visited my Aunts house with my mom and dad. I remember my mother inviting my Aunt and also my other Aunt (who does not drive and has to be picked up) and my Uncle (whose wife, my moms sister, died in October). My mom was excited about Easter because they were all going to be there and my new nephew would be there too (he should have been born today, they induced my sister in law this morning, but I have not heard anything. . .I am taking that as good news. . .). Anyway when I spoke to my sister the other day she got all pissed off and started yelling about not wanting other people, just family to be there. Umm, they are family! I tried to ease her feelings by telling her I did not care either way (even though I do, I want them there cause my mom would have and would want us to become closer after her death) and if she cared she needed to talk to my dad about it. Oh well, not much I can do from here. I get in the Friday before Easter and I told my sister that all they needed to do was give me a list and I would do shopping and cooking etc.

We are still trying to decide what to do about school next year. The oldest son will be in 7th grade and wants to be homeschooled again. I am reluctant because that is a lot of pressure on ME and last time it did not go well (in my mind it did not, they were fine and when they went to public school were way above their peers). So far he would be the only one homeschooled. But that means that I would have a HUGE RED TARGET on my head! Given his "truancy" track record (from legitimate illnesses and medical conditions that I have documented to the peril of several trees at least!) I am not looking forward to homeschooling because I just know they will be knocking on my door to check on him. Esp since they will loose the funding that comes when his little butt is placed firmly in one of their schools chairs!

Oh well, too much to worry about tonight. Right now I need to get my oldest out of the shower and the next 2 out from in front of the tv so they can go to bed. I can't go to sleep with them still awake and I have to get up very early in the morning!

1 comment:

Queen of Dysfunction said...

Breathe in... breathe out... one thing at a time.

You poor thing, I know you'll get through this just fine, but I'm sure it's not easy. We're thinking of you!