OK, so now I am just irritated! I have been looking for weeks for the Nintendo Wii. Why did'nt I look earlier you ask? Well, because I did not have an extra $250 laying around! And I can't afford to buy it from eBay because there are yahoos like this one. Give me a break! And it is people like this one who really really tick me off! That and the guy sitting on his couch surrounded by 13 Wii systems! Come on people, no wonder they are sold out! And then there is this idiot!

I have been calling and going into countless stores asking if they had the Wii in stock only to be told NO EVERYTIME! Oh a few times I was told, yes I had 5 yesterday and one person bought them all. ARGH! I have 5 kids who just want one and cant find it at retail price. Oh yeah I can find it on eBay for $500 and up, but not anywhere near retail! A lot of people are making a lot of money at the expense of a LOT of families and it makes me sick!

My mom

Well, my mom is in the hospital. She went to the oncologist yesterday because she was sick and vomiting and generally feeling awful. She had chemo on Tuesday. Her oncologist sent her to the ER where they ran tests and ended up admitting her. The tests reveals that she has 3 lesions on her brain now as well as pancreatic problems related to her lung cancer. This afternoon when I first spoke to my step father I was just in shock. He told me that they thought it was pancreatitis. That is what my father died from when I was 7 months old. He was misdiagnosed and by the time they discovered what it was he was already in shock, so there was nothing they could do about it. Hearing my step father say that was not good, I can tell you that! I am torn, my husband has offered to drive us to Maryland. But that is a 2 day drive and with 5 kids and not much money it is just too much. My sister has promised to tell me if she thinks I need to come out. Of course I want to drop everything and just go, but that is not practical at all.

She should be able to go home tomorrow. They removed the tube from her nose that was removing the bile from her stomach (sorry so graphic) so she was able to eat some clear things this afternoon/evening and keep them down. They said if she does the same at breakfast they will send her home. She goes in for radiation on Tuesday morning. Her spirits are good and she sounded very good when she called me this evening. She called me because she knew I would be worried about hearing she had pancreatitis.

All of the things I have been worrying about the last few weeks are forgotten. I could care less that I was unable to find a few things on my kids lists and unable to afford a lot more! None of that matters now.

We pretty much have to drive to Maryland when we all go as a family because it is too pricey to fly and we still have to rent a van big enough to fit us all which is a lot of money too. No one in my family has an extra vehical big enough for us to borrow. Even if we take the train, which is not as cheap as I thought anyway, we would still have to rent a vehical because they dont have auto trains from Missouri to Maryland. Then there is the hotel stay somewhere between here and there (usually around Indiana or Ohio) . . .you get the picture. I will hopefully be able to go sometime in Janurary or February by myself. That would not be too bad if I buy plane tickets early enough.

Well, thanks for praying for my mom. There is a man at our church named Lee who has the same cancer. His spread to his brain several months ago and he is not doing well at all. He can't drive anymore and is having balance issues and has fallen a few times. He is a young (under 50) father of 6 and is expecting his second grandbaby in May.

We are all recovering from sickness here, bronchitis, ear infections, upper respitory stuff etc and I started my natural hormone therepy this week too.

While talking after dinner together about Christmas and the fact that there is no Santa, our son looks at my husband and says, "Your an elephant!". Now my husband and I are both overweight so we thought it was a commentary on our size. We asked him what he meant and he said, "well, you said that you helped Santa so you are elves and your also parents, so your Elfhants!" We started cracking up. . .

quick update

Been crazy busy between the PTA, RIF, overflowing kitchen sink, home stuff and of course lets not forget the broken thumb by my son, the stomach bug that I picked up and now the cold that I managed to get as well. NEVER a dull moment! Got to get the kiddos ready for church.

Well the social worker visit came and went uneventfully. We will have to see how much it will cost us to have the lawyer come to our house for it though. Nothing came of it. She herself admitted that it was a bogus claim against us and was a waste of time. . .

Thanksgiving. . .

A quick post before I leave the comfort of my cozy bedroom with my husband. . .

I was awaken not by the alarm at 5:30 (am and am thankful) but by a tiny knock at my door, from my youngest, Robert. When I asked him what he needed he said "to give you something." I know that this something is a paper because Robert is almost 6 and in kindergarten and even before he started kindergarten he found any paper he could and wrote me notes! He loves to read and write. This one (wish I had my scanner hooked up. . .) was adorable. It said Happy Thanksgiving Mom and dad. Gobble Gobble. . .and had a drawing of a turkey on it. . .so cute.


Well, more later. Now I have pecan pie to make and Phase 10 to play with my kiddos!

I am trying not to be stressed, but it is getting difficult! Got a call yesterday afternoon from our lawyer informing us that we HAVE to meet with the social worker in our home. ARGH! I thought this was done with. But apparently it is not. So instead of just making pies and enjoying the day off with the kids, we are cleaning like mad and getting ready for our home "inspection" and interview with the kids. This is so frustrating for me.

Yesterday I spent the day working on things for the PTA at the elementary school. I am the chairperson for the Reading is Fundamental program and am getting ready for our first ever book distribution. When I came home, I was extremly tired. I rested for a bit in the afternoon, then had to go pick up my oldest from basketball practice. Then I came home and started dinner. I had to have my husband finish it. I was wiped out. I sat down to dinner and ate like 2 bites of dinner and I was just too tired to even eat. The brick wall I have heard about from other women who have had a hysterectomy. I have been feeling well and doing stuff.

So then today I had 3 Thanksgiving "feasts" at my younger 3 kids school. But before that I had to take my FIL to get an MRI. When I got home from that I simultaneously cleaned up the kitchen, made and ate breakfast, prepared mac and cheese for the feast, did laundry, checked PTA business on email, and made some calls. Then I went to the school for the feasts. Lots of bending to serve the kids, then lots of walking back and forth to get the kindergarten feast underway. Then I delivered the 5 boxes of books to the library for the RIF book distribution. I went home, had lunch and crashed! Gave the kids their snack when they came home, then went and picked up dd from basketball and other dd from art club. Then we went to the grocery store for milk and bread and "stuff". Next it was home to make dinner after the stuff was unloaded. At dinner again I was wiped out. I felt like I was hit by a mack truck! And I still had to help clean and get ready for the social worker visit. The kids really stepped up and did what they needed to with the help of my husband and I was pleasantly surprised and thankful. The smell of the cleaner mixed with my already tired body made it hard to do much else so after I scrubbed my bathroom I went to the store and got a few more things that were forgotten earlier. . .

Hopefully there will not be too much to do tomorrow and the social worker visit will be done and over with. . .I want to get this all behind us! Right now I need to figure out a way to get my 7 year old son out of my bed and into his own, then I think I will read and sleep! No alarm in the morning! Can't really sleep in with the impending visit, but wont have to be up at 5:30 either!

I am not even sure where to begin. . .or what to say! My head is pounding still from a migraine. I am used to migraines, but I had hoped that the hysterectomy would take them away. That did not happen, I wake up almost everyday with one now. Can't start hormones yet because of the endometriosis. Physically I am doing pretty well but emotionally I am a wreck! Might have something to do with the fact that I have not been able to sleep through the night since the surgery. Not sure. . . Kids are not being helpful, husband is some but not like I would like. I feel like I am being too demanding, but I don't think that they realize that this surgery was very hard on me. It may not seem like it because I am doing well. Most of the women on the hystersisters are not doing the things I am able to do now. Sure I get more tired more quickly, but overall I am doing pretty well. Just wish I could get my house in shape. Can't afford to have someone come help me though. Christmas is coming and bills are due. . .what else is new, right?

I really wanted to surprise my husband with a night or weekend away for his bday or while my mom was here. That did not happen though. Maybe next month for our anniversary. . .we will see. Money will be tighter then though I imagine. Maybe it will have to wait until January. We will see.

Oh well. . .thats about all now . . .just a jumble of disconnected whining as usual. . .

Yes, I am still alive. . .lol

not that anyone else is reading this, but I am still alive. Just busy with life. Recovery, visiting with my mom and normal life. . .lol

will try to write more soon. . .after I (start!!!) finish writing thank you notes to everyone who helped me after surgery. . .that needs to be done soon!

whine whine whine

Still recovering from surgery and am in a BAD mood. Been having migraines since last week, that sucks. Also my dd's sprayed (a LOT) of Febreeze in their room and it is NOT helping. Neither is the fact that my 9 year old just came into the room and told me that her sisters teddy bear hamster is MISSING! My 13 year old apparently did not close the cage well. . .or at all before she went to sleep at her friends house! ACK! We just killed a mouse that had taken up residence in our bedroom a couple of days ago. . .now this rodent is running around. I hate rodents running around. And of course there are plenty of places to hide around here since the kids have not been doing their chores at ALL, on the contrary, they have been making a bigger mess! They were off of school today, which drove me NUTS! I still cant drive so we were all stuck here! Me with a migraine and them making a mess and NOT doing their chores or getting ready for Grandma's visit monday! And of course my husband had to work late, which I understand, but it is still annoying. He is not yet back from taking the oldest dd to her friends house. The youngest boy fell asleep on our bed. Cant move him, heck I cant even move a gallon of milk yet! Would love to sleep in tomorrow but not sure if that will happen. There is a LOT to do tomorrow to get ready for my mom coming monday. I cant make house perfect and she does not expect it, but I am annoyed that my family is not stepping up and helping. I at least need to figure out a comfortable relatively clean place for her to sleep. . .

This weeks Monkey Punch!

This past week, right after my hysterectomy, my son on his way down the stairs in our front foyer to catch the bus, tripped down the stairs. He injured his big toe. My husband and I (who both heard him fall) came to ask him if he was okay. Although he seemed a little irritated and embarrassed (been there, done that. . .last time at my dd's middle school right in the middle of the hallway! OUCH!) he said he was fine. So off he went to catch the bus, then the younger 3 followed suit. My husband who had been home already for 1 full week taking care of me and the kids after my major surgery and 2 day stay at the hospital as well as manadory bed rest at home HAD to go into work that day. So after getting kids off to school and doing some things around the house (I cant even load the dishwasher!) he tried to log on and work from home. He soon discovered that he had to actually go into the office and "put out some fires". So in the early afternoon he went to work. When Z came home I asked him how his foot was and he said it was fine. A little while later he told me it hurt and when I looked at it I saw that it was bruised and figured he needed to get an xray. Not that it really matters with toes, because they cant do anything but confirm a fracture. They dont cast toes, they just wrap them. I could have done that at home. But I am always very cautious with my kids and their health, I would much rather take them to the doctor and have THEM tell me oh they are fine, no need to worry, you did not have to bring them in then to not bring them in and miss something major. So I called my husband and left a message telling him that he had to take Z to the doctor when he got home. Z did not feel like he needed to go, he said it was fine.

So jump forward a bit to around 10 pm, when my husband arrived home and agreed that he needed to go to the doctor. We briefly discussed whether or not we should take him into the urgent care clinic or the reg doctor the following day. It was decided that the urgent care clinic was the best thing to do, that way he would not miss any school. So my husband took Z to the urgent care clinic. After the urgent care clinic Z came home with a soft-sided “boot” to wear for his slightly broken big toe. The next morning not long after he left for school the urgent care clinic called back and said that the radiologist who checks the x-rays said his toe was in fact NOT broken at all.

That afternoon, about 5 minutes after my younger 3 kids got home from elementary school, I saw a woman coming to the door. Must be a sales person I thought. So I went to the door to get rid of her quickly (or so I thought!) by telling her I had just had surgery. She had an id badge hanging around her neck and a stack of papers and folders in her hands, but honestly I did not pay attention to her id badge, cause seems like everyone has one these days. She began by asking for my husband. I told her that he was not home but I was his wife. She then asked me if I was Z’s motheProbablybly not a salesperson I thought, but I still did not know who she was. After I told her I was Z’s mother she said “We have gotten a report that your son broke his leg and you did not seek medical attention for it.”

I responded by saying, “First of all he told that he broke is big toe last night and they already called this morning to say it was in fact NOT broken. And second of all, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!” Only then did she “identify” herself as being from social services. A lot of the rest of the conversation is really a blur. To tell you the truth I was so shocked and totally annoyed that I can’t remember exactly what was said. I remember telling her that I had just had major surgery a WEEK ago and could not drive that is why my husband took our son in late in the evening. She also repeatedly asked me if she could come into my home and “look around”. Each time I told her, “Not without a search warrant you can’t”. She kept pushing that issue, like I was an idiot who did not know my rights. My other kids were on the steps behind me and she looked passed me and asked if those “were all my kids”. I told her, yes in fact they were all my children. I had 5 children and they were all my natural children and they were all healthy and fine.

Then she asked me if Zwas home. I told her no, that his bus did not get home for another 15 minutes and it came later then the other kids bus. She seemed to want to wait for him and I told her she was welcome to wait and see if he was indeed okay. I asked her for something in writing and she gave me a generic form with her name and todayÂ’s date. Then she got into her car and after a few minutes left. I waited in my foyer for ZÂ’s bus to insure that she did not try to talk to him alone or anything. Then I called my husband , who called our lawyer. Z arrived home around 4:10 and she was no where in sight and did not come back that evening.

Then I began running around and cleaning. . .doing all the things the doctor had forbidden me to do! Bending to pick things up, loading and unloading the dishwasher, washing dishes, doing laundry. . .all the things I had left for my husband and kids to do. I was beginning to hurt. Then one of my friends called back and said she had gotten at least one other lady from the church for sure and they would be there in an hour to help me crisis clean the house, in case they came back. I nearly burst into tears! Okay, I did. . .not that it was hard cause I had been doing that on and off since I closed the door on the social worker. I had not idea if or when she would show back up and if she would be alone or with a police officer and a search warrant! Talk about stressed out!

The next day I jumped everytime I heard a car pass and was looking out the window the whole day! I jumped out of my skin when a neighbor sent her son down to borrow some butter! Around 1:50, the phone rang and it was the social worker from the day before. She was cpositionto see if my positon from the previous day had “changed”. When I asked her what position, she said the one where I refused to allow her to come into my home. I assured her that no, my position had not changed. (I mean was there a constitutional amendment I did not know about in the past 12 hours!?!?!?) She then went on to insist that she needed the names and birthdates of each of my other children and that she wanted to interview each of them as well. Of course I told her no way was she going to be getting that information or doing that! I cited the fact that the “complaint” was against my husband and one son, Z, not the rest of the nonsensee spouted some nonesence about having the “right” to talk to all the children as well as to come into my home if she wanted to. I told her that I would double check with my lawyer and if he felt like she had a legal “right” to that information then I would give it to her at the meeting that afternoon. She was not happy at all. The last question she asked me was what school my son attended. I refused to give her that information as well. As I suspected when I spoke to my lawyer after that phone conversation he agreed that the information they requested was not needed by them and should not be given to them at all.

I had previously arranged for a friend to video tape the meeting scheduled for that afternoon. About 5 minutes before my friend arrived, the phone rang. This time it was the social workers supervisor. She was unclear about some things that had transpired at the first meeting and wanted to “clear some things up”. I told her I was more then happy to do just that. Then she proceeded to tell me that they did have the right to enter my home if they wanted to. I again reminded them that they were more then welcome to if they had a search warrant. She told me that she did not need a search warrant, she could come into my home whenever she felt it was needed. To which I responded, then why have you not been in there yet? Then I handed the phone to my husband. She continued to argue that they had the right to come into our home. She even went so far as to quote Senate Bill 757 saying it gave her that right. (We looked up that Senate bill later that evening and it is about deer hunting!). The conversation ended and we waited for the social worker to arrive. Meanwhile my younger kids arrived home from school and I sent them up to my friends house right away, as my lawyer had told me to do. My videographer and friend arrived and we all prayed together.

Then the woman arrived and we met her in the driveway of our home. When I asked her for her ID, she had to go to her car to get it. She began by asking my husband some questions. My son was next. Then she again asked to come into our home and to see the other kids. That is when we gave her our lawyers name and number. Before she left she filled out a form that stated that Z was indeed in a safe environment and my husband signed it. She tried to get us to sign a HIPA form, but we refused. She left after telling us that they would contact us to set up a time to meet with the other kids. We doubt that the lawyer will let that happen. There is no legal reason for it to happen.

AWESOME SITE

Hysterectomy Support by HysterSisters.com

Long road to recovery begins. . .

I am home from the hospital now, have been since Thursday afternoon. Finding it hard to rest. Lots going on here and my staples are sore. . .

Surgery at 7:30 am today

Off to surgery now. A little nervous and still have a migraine but overall very happy to be getting this done! Keep me in your prayers. . .if you read this

Red Lobster. . .or not. . .

Well today was my FIL's anniversary. . .of when he joined the Navy. Something like 66 years ago today! WOW! As usual he wanted to take us out to lunch, which for some reason causes a LOT of problems with my 5 ungrateful children! they all complain about where, do we have to go, not this place again, but I want to play with my friends instead. . .you name it they pull it. Well today, because of the anniversary, my FIL wanted to go to Red Lobster to celebrate. This sounded good to me! Sort of my last hurrah before my surgery and a place that none of the kids will complain about. So this morning as I made eggs for myself (and 3 of my other kids too!), I called the Red Lobster closest to us to see if they take reservations. And the one we normally go to is closed, so I call another one, that is further, but not too bad. They are open but do not take any reservations or even call ahead seating, so it is first come first serve.

So of course it is always hard to get everyone out of church in time to go home and get grandpa and go to a restarurant and get a decent seat with out a long wait. So we all rushed out of church and planned to meet at home to get grandpa then go get gas cause the van was practically on empty. We decided to wait on the gas and just go. Apparently my FIL told my husband that it did not have to be Red Lobster, just anywhere he can get shrimp. When I got into the van my husband tells me this and I am stumped. I do not have a clue what he would consider a good place to get shrimp, esp one that compare to Red Lobster. So we explain that we can go to where ever he wants and we dont mind driving to Red Lobster. He does not really say anything just throws his hands up. ARGH!! I hate having to decide something when I know there is the potential for him to get upset. Lets just say he is "set in his ways". Sometimes he can be very opinionated.

A little while later we arrive at RL and of course it is packed, afterall it is a Sunday afternoon, right? I go in to put our name in, followed by some of the kiddos. After I finally made my way through all the waiting people to put our name in, she tells me the wait is for 1 hour at least. As I turned around I shuffled the kids out too, cause I knew my FIL would not want to wait that long. Of course he did not. As we are leaving the restaurant a lady says to me, "He threw up." I looked at her like, huh?!?! She points to my youngest, who I am guiding out of the first lobby (you know between the 2 front doors), and repeats herself, "He just threw up.' Seemingly all at once I look at my son, who looks like he just threw up, right down to a dribble down the front of his sweatshirt, then at the lobby floor where a RL employee is putting napkins over what I presume is my sons "cookies", then back at the woman. Next I took off the offensive sweatshirt as we were (quickly) walking back to our van. We all pile into the van and my FIL says he wants to go to the Chinese buffet he sees next door. So we make our way over there, green little boy and all. When we got there I told my husband I was going to take our son to Kmart (it was in the same parking lot) and get him some medicine for his tummy. Even though the Kmart was close, my son no longer had a sweatshirt on and I did not want to make him walk feeling as bad as he was. A very short ride later we parked at the Kmart and I waited for my son to open his door before locking it. Apparently his arm was right where the lock is, cause he started screaming. I had pinched his arm in the lock when I locked the door. He climbed back in and over the driver seat to me and I carried him inside. Good thing he is a tiny 5 year old! I went and got the medicine for him and then some crackers and a new sweatshirt. I asked him if he wanted to go into the restaurant or just stay in the van. At first he said he wanted to stay in the van, then he changed his mind.

A few minutes later, after getting lots of sympathy (and some plastic bags!) from the Kmart cashier we arrived back at the buffet. He seemed like his normal perky self and we went inside with plans on eating white rice and maybe some noodles or other bland things. He ate some of that, and also ended up eating several chicken on a stick ( cooked in a teriaki sauce I think) and he even ordered a "Dr. Pibb". Everything seemed fine, I even got to eat some food. (it should be noted that he has had a recent history of feeling like this,esp when we were driving cross country. . .so this is not a new thing, just not usually when we are so close to home. . .) All of a sudden he says he thinks he needs to throw up and looks like it too! Remember this is a Sunday afternoon, and this place is packed. . .and HUGE. And where are we sitting? You guessed it all the way in the back corner, far from the bathroom, far from the front door and surrounded by families eating lunch. So I quickly asked my other son to go to the other side of the table so that I could scoot over closer to the wall to try to shield the other diners should anything "happen". The best thing I had to catch with was several napkins from the table. I tried to help my son and comfort him while at the same time looking for a way out that would not involve my son puking on or near other people eating their egg rolls. The front door might as well have been a mile away at this point! I asked my son if he thought he could make it to the van without throwing up. He said yes, so I grabbed my keys, my purse, his new sweatshirt and the napkins were at the ready, right near his face. We quickly left. No conversation, we just walked out. I think I might have told my husband "we are going to the van". I knew he realized that anyway and we did not have time for chit chat. . .or more tossing of cookies!

In the van my son was fine again and he saw my notebook from church and asked me if I had a pen. I gave him a pen and he wrote and drew for awhile. He has been fine ever since. No complaints before and none since. . . .

Our school has a 24 hour policy, if you throw up or have a fever you have to stay home until you have no fever or throw up for 24 hours. But given the fact that my son seems to have had this episode from car sickness and I have surgery to prepare for. . .he will be going to school! That is all I need,a sick kid on my last day to prepare for surgery. As it was I did not do much today. I had a migraine (still do). I did manage to make dinner, even though only my FIL, my youngest and myself bothered to eat. (the rest were asleep, out playing or over friends houses) Then he had to go to the grocery store, and so did I. When I got into the van I was met with a big E. We never did get gas earlier. So I filled up then went to the grocery store, then came home and put the stuff away, bathed the youngest, scrubbed my shower floor (gross textured finish. .argh), folded MOUNDS AND MOUNDS of clothes, washed more clothes, loaded and started the dishwasher, put the kids to bed, and then got a snack and came to blog. . . .

It is sad when going to the hospital to have a hysterectomy is like a vacation. . . .

Getting ready for surgery. . .Tuesday!

Well, I went to the doctor on Wednesday to discuss what the next step would be considering I had such a rough time during my period, even after the surgery. He told me there was no reason to wait, that he knew I needed relief. So we scheduled surgery for Tuesday, October 17. At 7:30 AM. WOW. That is early, that means we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 to do labs, and we have to leave here at 5 AM. My wonderful friend and neighbor will be coming over (agian!) at 5AM to be here with kids and get them up and ready for school. She is a lifesaver! Esp because she is NOT a morning person! The house is slowly getting clean. . .not the way I would like, but I only have so much time and help. I am tring to prioritize. The kids did manage to clean their rooms, but that means now my laundry pile is HUGE! On monday, my friend Cassy is coming over to help me with some meal prep. What a sweetie! More tomorrow. . .I am still looking around the hystersisters website. . .

Homebirth Diaries

Homebirth Diaries
Congratz!!!! It is a boy. . .great job!

Saturday Night

Well, it is Saturday night, and right now I am sitting at my computer listening to my 5 year old whine . . .he wants to sleep on the floor and since I told him no he is in there crying. . .

ARGH!!! And 3 of my 4 other kids are still awake. And my mother in law just called. . .and it is 11pm. There goes my relaxing evening playing COH with my hubby.

I spent most of the day in the garage- I cleaned it out in preparation for a garage sale next week. The main goal of which is to make money AND get rid of the bed. Well get rid of crap and declutter too. . .


Well, hubby is waiting for me to log on to COH now. . .more tomorrow!

back again

should be doing my homework, but it is 10:30 and my kids are not all in bed yet. I just got back from picking my two oldest and their friend up from youth group and then taking my son to Blockbuster because he HAD to trade his games and get a new one NOW. House is a mess, laundry needs to me folded, room needs to be cleaned ( kids made it messier while I was getting other kids from youth group), homework has not been touched ( I did read most of the chapter though. . .), I should be vacumming up the hair on the bathroom floor from cutting my husbands hair this morning, but I am just too tired. There goes what I thought would be the ideal evening. . .me and my husband doing our homework together then "cuddling". everyone else hijacked my plans. . .as usual. So instead of homework with hubby, I will play my new pc game, Penguin Puzzle or Drop, probobly drink another Coke (I had given them up. . .) and eat some chocolate therepy, then go to bed. . .when and IF my daughter finally finishes her homework and goes to bed (she told me this afternoon she did not have any homework!). And tomorrow is more of the same. Run off the newsletter, figure out what to make for dinner, make dinner, clean up the kitchen so I can make dinner, run errands, go to an appointment, finish (start) my homework, go to my class, mail my moms bday cards (late of course), and a million other things. . .welcome to my CRAZY world, alright! Where do I get off. . .

running around again. . .like always!

It seems like I am either feeling like crap and in bed or running around trying to catch up after the last bout or before the next one! Story of my life. Right now I am trying to get my world famous chicken pot pie going (cooked chicken yesterday and even made the stock!). Also doing laundry, finishing newsletter for the elementary school, cleaning my room, doing my homework for the class my husband and I are taking, yadda yadda yadda. . .well the kids bus is here . . .got to go now

Random thoughts and updates. . .

Busy week here, as usual. Friday I was wiped out after the field trip, which was fun up until ride home. I sat in the back of the bus to keep the kiddlets under control there. Bad idea! Those buses have NO shocks. . .or at least it feels that way all the way back there! Then I came home and made dinner and went to our communication class. I wanted to get the house in better shape before Karen and Angela came over to clean this morning. .. but that never happened. It was such a HUGE blessing though to come back home and have the living room and kitchen done. I mean DONE! Not just skimmed over, like I have been doing. I have wanted to mop/scrub the kitchen floor for over a month and was just too sick or weak to get to it. I have been spot cleaning with bleach spray, a towel and my foot. Not very effective.

I have the elementary school newsletter to work on. . .only problem is only 2 people have sent me anything for it, and one of them was just for the website, not newsletter bc the event will be done by the time the newsletter come out! ARGH. Now I have to call and or email everyone . . .again to ask for their submissions and get them all done by the Tuesday afternoon meeting. annoying.

I am having a period now. . .well almost. everything but the bleeding. Sucks. Guess the surgery did not help. ARGH! Will call the doctor on Monday and make an appointment. I knew this was a possiblility but it is still very annoying.

My husband and I have been taking a Christian Communication class for a couple of weeks now. Last week we had to pick a non stressful issue each to talk about and practice with in class. He picked his Crown Vic. He bought another former police Crown Victoria at an auction this past spring. The old one is a blue one and other then packing more power then a regular vic, looked like a regular one. We went to the auction in the spring and bought this new one. Nice and white. With a police spotlight as well as police power. The police decals had been removed however the car still had lots of sticker residue on the doors and back panels. When the car was clean this was not an issue. But, when the car is dirty though it looks kind of like the stickers are still on. So for the past several months (okay all summer. . .and most of spring!) my husband has been driving it like this. He has made several attempts to remove the sticker gunk with several rather expensive chemicals with not much luck. Besides the fact that he has a bad back and the bending does not help. So anyway he used this as his "issue" because it bothers him that it is not done yet, and some of the guys at work make funny comments about it when they go out to lunch together. So fast forward to thursday morning. The day of the field trip and our class. I get up at the normal time of 6 am to get oldest out of bed etc and ready for school. As I start to make her sandwich I discover that there is not enough bread left for everyones lunch so I go down to the freezer to get more. none there. . .of course! So I realize I need to go get more from the store. I made my dd's sandwhich and told her I had to go to store so she needed to leave on time etc. Then I tell my sleeping husband where I am going. Anytime I am running around town I use my husbands car, cause it does not cost over $100 to fill up! KWIM??? So here I am, 6:15 in the morning in sweatpants (with no underwear, not that anyone else would know that. . .), a night shirt with no bra covered up by one of my husband flannel shirts, and my crocs. I was planning on taking a shower before I got the other kids up so no point in getting dressed, right? So off to the local Hy-vee I go. Getting my bread, and of course other stuff. A few minutes later I exit the store and in the parking lot I see another white Vic similar to my hubbys parked back in the parking lot facing me. It looks like someone is in the drivers seat, but I think nothing of it, other then the car is just like the one I am driving, you know how you do when you see a car like one you have or have had right? So I open the trunk and start to unload my cart and the other Vic starts to drive away, or so I thought. The car pulls up behind me and I hear the driver saying something. I look back and it is an undercover police man with a K-9 in the back seat. He then proceeds to tell me that it is illeagal for me to be driving a car like that and I could get in trouble for "impersonating a police officer". WHAT!? What idiot would think that this car was a police car. . .still? What police department is so poor that they cant afford to put stickers on its car? So I played the dumb wife card and blamed everything on my husband! I asked the man several times what we could use to remove the stickers, telling him that we had tried like four things, but everytime he just ignored the question. He did however tell me that the licence plate info had been recorded and they would be "out to check" to see if the sticker residue had been removed. This was just a warning, but the next time. . .well he never said but he implied there would be a next time. He even said some stupidity about his dog could even mistake my car for his and that could be bad. Whatever that means. So I was already feeling like crap that morning this is JUST what I needed, right! After I got home I woke up my husband who went outside after he got dressed and removed the words, "police" and "traffic enforcement" from the car. Took him about an hour and of course was not great for his back! There is still some strips on the back panels of the car, but nothing to even remotely resemble a police car, except the one front hub cap that says "call 911". weird, all the other 3 say "FORD", but this one says "call 911". Funny how God always brings issues up when you start to work on them or talk about them.

exhausted. . .and tired of being behind in everything!

My surgery was 20 days ago and I was doing well, maybe too well! I tried going to Curves again on Monday and then ran errands. Not such a good idea! Curves usually makes me tired. . .by the end of my 30 minute work out, but Monday it made me tired right away. It did not hurt my incisions, just wore me out. I skipped a few machines that might have caused me problems bc of the bending required and the placement of my incisions. One of them is still not closed up properly. I probobly need to go see the doctor about it. But WHICH ONE?? The one who did the surgery, who has awful bedside manner and is a specialist so my copay is double, the new one I am switching to and saw last week, who is awesome, but also a specialist, or my reg. GP who is good, but I fear he will send me to the specialist anyway and I will have wasted my time and my money, neither of which I can do right now. ARGH!

I am going on a field trip tomorrow with my second graders class. Not sure if that was such a bright idea either after the last few days. I keep having pains in my right side, esp when I get up and I am just so worn out still. About all I can manage everyday is to get the kids fed breakfast, dressed, lunches made, and out the door (on time!) for the bus, and then laundry (cause I can sit down and fold it. . .even though that makes me tired too) and the bare minimum in the kitchen. It is very frustrating to me! I have so much I want and need to do. One of my neighbors offered to come over and clean my house on Saturday with some other people from church and frankly I am happy but also stressed. I am embarrassed by my carpet and the mess that has built up over the past few weeks. I hate not being able to do anything about it. . .I mean not like I am the world best house cleaner on a good day. But, my house is really bad. . .and it annoys me! Oh well, I agreed because I know it needs to be done. I have been trying to take care of myself and this is one way that I can do that. But of course this is still really hard for me. I am not good at taking care of myself. So since the surgery I have been trying to take it easy. That is hard for me.

I am finally being heard!

Today started out bad with me waking up not feeling well. Coughing achy and generally blah. My husband blessed me by helping get the kids breakfast before school. Then they left and I sat on couch with some hot cocoa and vegged for awhile before I planned on taking a shower and getting ready for my doctors appointment. So I am sitting on the couch finishing watching the Rachael Ray (which is actually pretty good. . .even though her perky personality does annoy me sometime.)show and one of our city water trucks pulls up and proceeds to shut off our water. Apparently we over looked this bill with the whole surgery and just general life with 5 kiddos. ARGH! So I had to go to the water department and pay them what was due, plus a $35 reconnect fee. . .before I could get a shower etc. They are not very forgiving here in our town when it comes to the water bill. No questions no reminders. . .just OFF. So I had to take a check up there and pay them and then wait for the water to be turned back on so I could tak a shower. Then my husband calls just as I am about to take a shower and asks me to have lunch with him before my appointment. That was very nice. I was happy to be able to spend some alone time with him. So I got a little sidetracked with explaining how crappy (with sprinklings of goodness from my wonderful husband) my morning was and I have not gotten to the whole reason behind the title, I am finally heard!

So I get to the doctors appointment and check in and fill in paper work and pay my copay etc. And a few minutes later they call me up to the front desk and ask if it was alright with me if I saw the nurse practitioner instead of the doctor. The doctor was delivering another patients baby via an unexpected c-section and was out of the office still. I had no problem with this and a few minutes later a nurse took me to an exam room and took my vitals and medical history. Then the nurse practitioner came in and she was wonderful! Her name was Bridget. She actually LISTENED to me for about 30 minutes and made me feel like I was worth "fixing" not just annoying and in her way! She even continued to talk to me and not rush me when the nurse told her the hospital was on hold for her. It is so nice to find someone who actually thinks I might have some insight into my own body and care! FINALLY! I will be switching my GYN care to this office for sure!

Greg and Heather's Blog

Greg and Heather's Blog really funny blog. . .glad my kids are not the only curious ones. . .

Update. . .

Well, at this exact time last week I was having surgery. After a few years of extreme pain that just seemed to get worse with my periods I was finally doing something about it! It was not always this bad for me during my periods. In retrospect it makes sense now to me. I had painful periods all my life and after I started having children it got better. I got pregnant with my first baby at age 19 and then a year later got pregnant again, then 2 years later again, then a year later again and yes, a year later again. That is 5 pregnancies and 5 babies. Now that I read about this nasty thing called endometriosis it all adds up! Pregnancy prevents endometriosis from rearing its ugly head sometimes for a few years. . .not that until after my last baby I gave it that long to come back mind you. Of course I have heard of endometriosis, but I never thought I had it because we got pregnant when we looked at each other it seemed! (okay, so that is a bit of a stretch, but you know what I mean right? We never tried to get pregnant, it just happened. Me infertile. . .yeah right!). It seems that other then that fact that I would not trade my children for anything. . .usually. . .they have helped keep me out of the endometriosis hell for quite some time now. Oh, but endometriosis came back with a vengeance to make up for all the lost time!

The past few years have been awful. I was lucky that my period was only 3 days, esp because recently I spent most of those 3 days either in bed or in the bathroom. . .or on the way from one to the other. I'm talking migraines, heavy bleeding, cramps so painful I just want to die, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and extreme fatigue. My doctors tried some meds to help with the amount of bleeding which did not work. Then they suggested I take part in a study they were doing. That medicine actually worked . . .for the bleeding at least. But I still had all of the other symptoms, like clockwork, every month. And I knew that this medicine would not be available to me when the study was over.

Around April or May of this year I was having a particularly bad period and was trying to lay still in bed to help the migraine. The kids had other plans. . .they were across the hall playing and arguing and yelling. . .and basically just being normal kids you know, but I could not take it anymore. When your head is pounding and if feels like someone is shredding your internal organs. . .something just snaps. So I got up and went into the kids room, where 4 of the 5 kids happened to all be (everyone but the oldest girl) and I looked around for a second and then picked up this deflated soccer ball (similar to the one in the picture, but not as deflated at that one) and I squeezed it with both hands and threw it to the ground and stomped on it. Then I said to the kids "This is what my uterus feels like right now, so SHUT UP and let me rest!" As I walked back into the room and collapsed on the bed again, I heard my 6 year old son say, "Whats a uterus?" That is when I knew I had to do something else to get to the bottom of this pain!

So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to talk about having a hysterectomy done. (time to make lunch for me and grandpa. . .and stretch a bit too. . .still healing from my surgery.)

Okay back. . .a few days later!

So I went to see the doctor and had a pelvic and pap smear done. First of all it was painful, and I have had 5 children. . .so I have had lots of pelvic exams and they were not painful, but this one was, esp when the dr pushed on my uteris! WHY do they do that!! It is not a roll of Charmin here people! He then tells me that my uteris is enlarged and wants me to get an sonogram and see a gyn as well. He is a GP now mostly, he does do OB/GYN stuff and as a matter of fact he is the one who delivered (even though he almost missed the last one) my last 2 kids. But he does not do all the specialized GYN care stuff. So anyway he sent me to see this other doctor. That took a few weeks to get that appointment.

When I saw the GYN, he adviced starting with the D & C and ablation instead of the hysterectomy since that is pretty drastic. So we scheduled the surgery. . .for September! This was JUNE, so that meant waiting for almost 4 months! for some relief (hopefully!). But I had to do something so I scheduled it with him and waited. IN PAIN. I called him almost every month when I was having my period or just after to see if we could move the surgery up or do something else to help me get some relief! Most I got was some Compazine to help me not throw up! So any way a few weeks after seeing the doctor and scheduling another sono to look at what I was told were ovarian cysts again, I was having my period and I just had this tremendous sharp extreme pain, so bad that I could hardly stand up. And fever, and nausea etc. So I called my regular doctor right away who told me to come right in. I also removed my tampon because I thought it might be TSS. When I got to the doctor he examined me and sent me right to the ER because I had what he called referred pain. When he pressed my left side it hurt my right. So I called my husband and then drove myself to the ER.

While at the ER, they gave me drugs. . .so I was not in much pain anymore, just uncomfortable sitting on a hard hospital ER bed with a lovely hospital gown covering up some of my body and using pads instead of tampons ( so I felt unclean...)and waiting. . .and waiting. . .and waiting. . . Apparently there was a HUGE 3 car pile up not far from the ER- it was rush hour when I drove to the ER after all. So my husband got to the hospital awhile later and tests were taken and while we waited for them to do a CT scan we watched the premiere of Hell's Kitchen on Fox. The doctor thought it was a kidney stone attack and said it was prob unnessecary for me to have the CT Scan done etc since I have a history of kidney stones. There was prob a stone cause I had blood in my urine and the fever. Well, duh, I am having my period. When I told him I thought it might have been TSS, he just looked up from his clipboard at me with this look that said, "Oh, another idiot who thinks they know what they are talking about." and said "Are you a nurse or something?" I said no and he then asked me how I knew about TSS and I told him, um I am a woman who has been using tampons since I was in like 5th grade dude. Anyone who has ever seen a box of tampons knows about TSS. Heck I knew about it before I started using tampons cause when I was in the bathroom as a kids I used to read the warning insert to my mom's box of tampons! DUH!!! So anyway, I told him that we were leaving in 2 days to drive to Florida for a wedding and then to Maryland to visit family and I wanted to KNOW exactly what is was so I did not have to worry about it while I was gone. So we did the test and sure enough he tells me that yes, it is a kidney stone. So he sent me home with a prescription for Vicodin and a PAPER strainer to look for the stone. So the next day I went to my doctors office and got a plastic strainer to use instead of a paper one. And for the next several weeks I strained my pee. . .what FUN!! And I had several other times of pain as well. So when I came back from vacation and had not passed the stone I called my Urologist and made an appointment to see him. The day of my appointment I had to fast and do some tests and take the results to him as well as pick up the results from the ER. So I arrive at my Urologists appointment and when he comes in the room he looks at me and says, rather annoyed, "Why are you here?!" And I said I am here because I have a kidney stone that wont pass. (BTW, the last kidney stone I had had me in the ER several times and he finally had to remove it surgically after 2 months of intense pain every week or two!). So he looks at me and says, "you dont have a kidney stone. None of you tests indicate that you have a kidney stone. I think your problem is your ovarian cyst and the ER even said that in their report." So I wasted my time and my money paying a specialist to tell me I was an idiot (and had to pay twice as much to hear it! cause he is a specialist!). So I called my GYN again and after reviewing my latest sono and finding that my cysts had grown even in a few weeks, he added a procedure called a Laproscopy to look at and remove my cysts to my already scheduled surgery. Which of course was still set for September.

Well, we have to head out for a picnic with some friends now. . .if I can wake up my hubby that is. . .LOL. Will finish the saga later. . .

I am 33 years old and have 5 children ages, 13,12,10 1/2, 7, and 5. A few years after my last child was born my periods got really really bad. Heavy bleeding, 40 tampons in 3 days, and pain that just kept getting worse every month, the whole bowels issues too (even had a colonoscopy last year). For the little over a year I was on a study med here in the US to control the bleeding but it did not control my pain so I opted out of it to see DR and possibly do a hysterectomy or something to help.Saw doctor in May for my normal (albeit a few months late. . .) yearly well woman exam and talk about options. He found my ovary was enlarged. Sono's scheduled and found ovarian cysts. At my consult with the GYN in June he recommended we do a D & C and Ablation, which was scheduled for September 7. A few weeks later, during my period I had such severe pain I thought I was having TSS. Called dr and he told me to come right in (reg, not gyn) he saw me and sent me right to ER. At the ER, I was told it was a kidney stone, which I have a history of. Was sent home with pain meds for kidney stone and told to see my Urologist after my vacation (the next week) if I did not pass the stone. When I came back from the vacation and had not passed the stone I made and appointment with urologist. That day before I saw him I had another set of abdominal and pelvic sonos and kidney x rays etc. When I saw him he looked at me like I was an idiot for being there. He said it was not a kidney stone that is was GYN related. (Apparently my ER records even said that, even though that is NOT what I was told). So I tried to have my procedure moved up with the GYN, too booked to do it. Every period since May has been extremly painful and has had me in bed and/or the doctors office. Finally had my procedure this past thursday. Dr had to remove my whole left ovary and tube because of the endometriosis and says that he will prob have to do a full hysterectomy when I recover from this surgery. I was not diagnosed with endometriosis until Thursday (that was my first laproscopic procedure). I am not surprised by the diagnosis and am glad that finally I know what it is and I am NOT crazy. I go back to the doctor on Monday to talk to him. Of course I have LOTS of questions for him, I was still out of it and he only talked to husband on Thursday. Surgery ended at noon and we did not leave until 3:30 and I was still pretty groggy!

alone

How is it possible to feel alone in a house with 7 other people? That is how I am feeling lately. Alone. Tired. Worn Out. Lost.

Tired of being tired. . .and sick of being sick. . . .

That is the story of my life recently. I have not felt like doing ANYTHING at all. I am either so tired or so sick. . .or both! I have no energy or motivation to do things. I think I might have gotten strep from my son. ARGH! Today when the kids left for the bus, I straightened up the kitchen started the dishwasher and went back to bed! When I got up (again) my throat hurt so I made some soup and ate it while I worked on the computer. I was trascribing notes I had taken the other day when I helped my FIL lower his 5 credit card bills. That took awhile. Then the kids came home and I did the afternoon stuff with them. Then made dinner, then crashed again on the couch. . .After awhile I managed to get up and help kids with evening things while cleaning up some of my room. Why does my room always get to be such a mess!?

It is so frustrating! Trying to get it clean so that it stays that way! There is so much I need and want to do and I just dont feel like it. I barely manage to get the basics done everyday! Annoying.

I feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. my kids seem to be especially needy. Why is it that they can tell when I am not up to par and that is when they seem to be the worst behaved? I am not looking forward to my surgery this coming week. I just hope they can at least cut me some slack for that.

So, I just finished making dinner for my family and my friends boys (she has 7). . .well only 2 of them, the other 2 are too young to walk down the street on their own (most of the time that is. . .but that is another story. . .)anyway after I finished my kids asked if the other boys could eat. A quick assessment of the amount told me that it was doable so I said yes. When they called their dad and he agreed. So 2 of the boys and my 4 (oldest is at a friends getting her hair colored. . .also another story. . .) sat down to eat and not long later their is a knock at the door, one more of the boys wants to eat too (he overheard his dad on the phone and hightailed it down here too!

(Okay I am back. . .Just got back from Children's Mercy South Urgent Care where I took my 7 year old and it is official! Yes, he has strep, and YES! We (potentially) passed it on to a LOT of little people today at our friends 2 year old Bday party! You guessed it, that is also another story!)

So eventually we had my 4 kiddos, my Father in law, my sons friend, and my neighbors 5 boys (in total. . .they just kept coming. . .LOL). For the first time tonight I made Chipped Beef Gravy. My kids love "sawmill" or white gravy so I thought I would try the chipped beef gravy and see if the like it! They did. . .so much so that I had to make another batch of it as well as the scrambled eggs . it was a huge hit!

So, why the lego dude pic you ask?

After this wonderful and chaotic meal, where I did not get to eat by the way, I came into my bathroom to find the lego dude in my sink. And considering the fact that I just served 9 males ranging in age from 5 to 83 breakfast (for dinner!) like I was a seasoned diner cook, even! All at the same time realizing that my 7 year old who just a little while ago was bouncing around feeling fine was all of a sudden feeling really sick. All of the hustle and bustle of meal prep could not keep my mind off of the fact that I knew this sneaky pesky germ they call Strep. We have met before, many many times- in me as well as in my children. . .and even, worse still, in my husband! Not only is my mind seeing the waiting at the Urgent Care Clinic for them to tell me the obvious, it is also seeing the very first birthday party our good friends had for their newly adopted child from Columbia who just turned 2! I have the priveledge of being the one to introduce these great people to the joys of calling all of the parents on the inite list to tell them that one of the children has strep throat. These parents who up until July have been a couple of carefree DINKS (Duel Income No KidS). The same parents who not only adopted 2 year old Daniel, but his older sister Julia as well! If only my child had shown symptoms earlier! Then I would not be the one who has to be the bearer of just bad news! "Your party was so much fun! By the way in about a week, your new children who are still getting used to life in America, life with parents who love them and take very good care of them and life where everyone speaks English (their parents speak both english and spanish. . .)might get really really sick and you need to make sure to take them to the doctor if they have fever or sore throat, cause you don't want to let strep throat go untreated! Nice seeing you again! Lets do it again soon, I will be sure to bring the child that has Pink Eye next time!"

Oh well, what are you gonna do? you can know EVERYTHING right!? I know my kids and husband sometimes think I am, but I really am NOT psychic (that word just does not look right. . .but the dictionary says it is spelled right. . .) Oh boy I am off on another tangent now. . .If I keep on like this no one will ever want to read my book! LOL!! That's why we have editors right!?

Anyway, it was just too funny to come into my bathroom and find the lego dude laying there in my sink. . .

with a rock tied around his leg. . .

and his arms taken off. . .

he looks like I feel sometimes. . . .

(you totally understand everything I just wrote if you are a mom, esp if you are the mom of at least one boy!)

Back to school . . .so close. . .yet so far

I really do not have the idea that all of my problems will magically get better on Tuesday when all 5(. . .yes. . .ALL 5!!!)of my kids will be in school from 8 am until 2:45, but I think my stress level will be a LOT less! Well, there may be more stress in areas. . .like morning time when all of them need to wake up, get breakfast, find shoes, make lunch, get dressed. . .in DIFFERENT, CLEAN clothes, and get out the door in time for the bus on time. But, at least now, I will have some time where I can not be pulled in all directions, not have 5 different kids expecting me to make their world great, maybe be able to get something done around the house, possibly be able to try to make some money doing something from home ( or possible outside the home), and I might be able to find some time to write.

I know that these things are going to take time and most importantly it is going to take me being productive with my new-found "free" time. This sounds weird, even for me to say, okay, especially for me to say, but I am looking forward to being able to take care of our house the RIGHT way (with a LOT of help from Flylady). I am looking forward to the mounds and mounds of laundry, the meal planning, the vacuuming, and yes, even the sweeping and mopping. I have been trying to figure out why that is. . .and the main reason I can come up with is that when I wash, dry, fold and put away clothes. . . they will stay that way for at least a little bit. When I vacuum or sweep. . .it will stay clean for more then 5 minutes! That has been the most frustrating part of trying to tend to the house. When I finish one place or room, I turn around the the one I finished before is now a mess!

I know there are many others who can do it all with a bunch of kiddos under toe, but I am NOT one of them. Esp recently with my medical problems. When I am cramping or have a migraine or experiencing the period from HELL, it is hard for me to do anything. . .most especially hear the constant screaming that a couple of kiddos of mine this summer have taken to sharing with me! It makes it very hard to concentrate on anything when you hear screeching like that all the time.

This made me LAUGH so hard

Got this in email this morning. . .

Subject: KC Freecycle: Offer mother-in-laws tongue skc

in very nice pot and in good cond. needs some tlc. PU ASAP.

Thanks You.



I laughed so hard at this. . .cause if you knew my mother in law. . .

FUNNY

This is so funny!!!

Robert as a baby

That is what the repair man found in the washer. . .a poker chip. . .lodged in the drain pipe. . .which was causing the machine to go bonkers trying to drain it. At least now I can get back to actually washing clothes. Along with making a bday dinner and cake and homemade icing, cleaning the rest of the house for the other bday party here tomorrow, etc etc. . .I just want to take a nap. . .

Not gonna happen today! Oh well, at least the machine is working now.

Not sure what to write. . .

I am so discontent and out of sorts tonight. I really cant wait for the kiddos to start school. . .although there is still a TON to do before that happens. Create and print the elem school newsletter, shop for back to school supplies and clothes. . .with NO money, do laundry (with a broken machine. . .Best Buy service is coming tomorrow, I swear if he tells me he needs a part I might just punch him!), get back into the routine of going to bed at a reasonable hour so that we can get up at an ungodly one, getting better organized so that mornings are not so hectic and annoying, middle sons bday party is Friday nite ( cant prepare much ahead for that since payday is not until Friday. . .), oldest turns 13 tomorrow ( her list of wants and needs is a MILE long. . .and we have a planned trip to the mall for her bday on sat where I know she will try to guilt me into buying her more then we can afford. . .), my surgery is Sept 7. . .the list is endless and it is really stressing me out.

I am just not very motivated. The kids are being really bad about doing their chores and it stresses me out and makes my life harder. I actually look forward to them being in school all day and me doing their chores (they will still have to do them in the afternoon, but for the most part I will be doing them and it does not bother me. . .cause they will BE OUT OF THE WAY!! so I can actually get something done! That is the plan at least.

I am wanting to get a schedule of meals done too so that I am not so frazzled at dinner time. . .

I am just so tired of feeling like I am alone in this house. . .makes me want to eat chocolate. . .but I will resist (this time. . .at least!) cause I want to loose this stupid weight so I can play softball again and maybe possibly not look like such a fat cow all the time!@ How's that for ranting! I have been good about going to curves and hopefully I will start walking again too. It is just so HOT, even in the morning! Although I have not gotten up early on the non-curves days to actually walk cause I want to sleep in.

My oldest thought she might have a bladder infection so we went to the clinic tonight and she had her first pelvic. . .she was like I am NEVER doing that again! I told her she better get used to it! It is the first of MANY! She asked me if she needed to do that if she did not have babies. I told her yes, once you become sexually active, it is at least once a year baby! I think that scared her! Not that she is remotely interested in sex, she is actually repulsed by it. She was also freaked out when the dr asked her is she was sexually active. . .

Oh well, I should prob go to bed since tomorrow is her bday and we are going to the movies to see Ice Age 2 with some friends and some free tickets AND the repair man will be here to drain and (hopefully!!!!) fix my possessed washing machine. . .Why is it when I was doing so well with laundry, as the new habit for August my new machine decides to flake out. . .I hate getting behind on laundry! It is so annoying!!

Trying to get back to "normal"

Oldest dd is back home now, my body is (almost) done rebelling for the month, and the weekend is over. . .so it is back to "normal" around here. . .whatever that is!

My life is not my own. I have so many people who rely on me to do things for them, my husband, my 5 kids, my FIL (who lives in our basement), my church, my friends, my kids schools. . .and tomorrow I have to go to Curves before I go to my weekly bible study. The one with the book that i have not even OPENED this week. I have walked past it many times and said, later when I have time. or thought about it when I was running past it on my way to the bathroom to throw up... but I have not actually picked it up, opened it and read it! Of course, my first thought is to just make an excuse and not go. I have the perfect excuse, the ladies know I am recovering from my awful weekend. But there are only 3 of us and we have committed to helping each other get in shape and to encouraging each other. And of course there is also the fact that my WHOLE house is in shambles after me being sick this weekend. I "should" be here cleaning and making sure the kiddos dont destroy the house while I am at bible study. That too is an excuse. . .

So I will go, and I know that I will be blessed and I will try (again!) this week to actually do the bible study. Right now as I glance on my bedside table I see various other books that also need my attention. . .Motivating Your Man God's Way, The Wounded Woman, This Love We Share, Adolescence Isn't Terminal, Sometimes I feel Like Running Away from Home, Winning your Husband Back before its too Late, . . .and those are the ones on TOP of the bedside table. . . There are more in the drawer, and more in the closet on a shelf, and more in the living room in a pretty basket. . .I am pathetic! Good thing I did not buy these... I got all but one on Paper Back Book Swap! Oh, yeah, I have 3 or so waiting for me at the library too. . .

I guess I know what I will be doing when I am recovering from surgery next month! Catching up on some reading! And Bible study too! Life That Wins is the one we are doing now.

Well, I am off to bed, might actually try to read before I sleep. . .maybe not. . .I am too tired to figure out what to read! ( Oh, I also forgot the pile in the "library" or throne room as my husnand likes to call it. . .)

This is an uncropped screenshot from City of Heros game yesterday. That is me and my hubby. . .

update on the craziness. . .

Selling the BED! Have had a few bites already! Thanks Jody for telling me about it! Had to take 2 vicodin today for pain from my cyst. So I spent the afternoon stoned. Did not get much done. Maybe tomorrow. . .lol! Went to Target to get my son a present for his friends bday party and say a TON of signs everywhere for the Tax Free sales. So I thought, I should go ahead and get some school supplies for my older 2 kids (the younger 3 just have to bring in $$- YEAH!!). So I got the lists out and got most of the stuff on the list. When I was checking out I asked the lady if the stuff would automatically ring up without tax. She tells me it starts TOMORROW! WHAT, then why do you have signs everywhere!?!?! I took the stuff to the customer service and had it voided. They are holding it until tomorrow when the tax free holiday actually starts! ARGH! Talk about annoying!

Oh, well, not much else going on here. . .kids still driving me bonkers. They are bored and esp on a day like today when I do not feel well it is hard to keep them occupied. I was about to type happy, but that would just be crazy! I cant keep them happy. . .at least not all at once! I am always making someone upset!

I had to put the picture of my washer and dryer. . . cause this month is Laundry month on Flylady. We are encouraged this month to start the habit of keeping our laundry under control. I have to say since I got these machines it has been a LOT easier! But it does not take much to get behind around here though, esp if I feel bad.

I am thinking of working on clearing the CRAP from the kiddos rooms tomorrow. they are really BAD now and I need to help them clear out the clutter. It might be nice for Catherine to come home to a cleaner room too!

I just went bananas. . .literally!

I do not know why it is, but I am VERY particular about my bananas! I like them yellow with NO brown spots and a fair amount of green still. I do not like my bananas to be handled too much either. So anyway my 9 year old dd wakes up after 11 am and during the summer the rule is, you wake up after 11 am and you wait until lunch to eat. There are several reasons for this

1. My FIL also eats with us and we have to eat around the same time every day
2. with 5 kids we have to "shut down" the kitchen sometime!
3. If they eat breakfast late, then they will eat lunch late, then they will not be hungry for dinner as a family.
4. The kitchen would always be messy if they could just eat whenever. . .

So she askes me if she can have some cinn toast waffles and I told her no. She was not happy at all, so I said you can have a banana they are on the COUNTER. Does she get one off the counter? No, she gets one from on top of the fridge. The ones I bought for ME! Do I sound selfish, you bet! I have to be around here! I am trying to loose weight so I buy things that will help me get to my goal. Things like Sonic Route 44 Ice water (crushed ice. . .) or Quick Trips Crushed ice water too. Buying this water helps me not buy COKE. I will drink the water when it is cold the way I like it, yes I do drink cold ice water from home too, but I prefer the others. The Sonic one costs me $1 which includes a tip for the roller skating chick who brings it out to me and the QT one is free bc I already have the cup. I cant get my kids to leave my water alone though! I am trying to drink it and even keep track, but my kids keep drinking it! Same goes for my yogurt. I buy the Yoplait Custard style yogurt so I can grab one on way to Curves, cause I do not want to have a full breakfast before I work out. They eat those too! Or like yesterday, they stick a spoon in it and leave it in the livingroom all day (while we were getting the mattress) without even eating it! I threw a whole uneaten one away last night.

So she not only gets my bananas from on top of the fridge she bruises the remaining ones while doing it! That was it! I threw the rest of the bunch across the kitchen into the wall! Talk about going bananas! I totally lost it! Me thinks that PMS may be playing a factor here too. . .hmmmm. . .could be. We will have to see. No worries, though, I have already apoligized to her and the others about my tantrum and subsequent 10 minute tirade about MY STUFF!!

The saga of the New Mattress. . .

Well, we finally did it! We went out and purchased a new king size mattress today. We might finally get rid of our old new one! Let me explain. A year and a half ago my husband and I were out shopping around for a new mattress so we were trying them out etc so that we would know what we wanted WHEN we could afford it. . .So, I being the loving wonderful wife that I am decided to surprise my husband with the mattress that he liked for his birthday. No problem, right? Yes, the furniture store credit card rate is way too high. . .but he is worth it!

I guess I should also tell you that the bed we were getting rid of because he hated it, was the famous "Sleep Number" bed. Only we got it before it was digital, so it just has a rocker control for more or less air. This bed was a gift from my MIL, and to save money she bought 2 extra long twins for us to put side by side. . .I think it might have been her way of trying to get us to stop having sex and making babies. . .but I digress. . .Anyway, we used the sleep number bed for awhile, but he hated it because he felt like he was on a bubble all the time. he liked to have his pumped up all the way, while I prefered to have mine like a hammock with almost no air it it. . .LOL. Lets just say it made any bedroom recreation "interesting"! So the girls got the sleep number beds and I bought the really expensive top of the line bed that I thought was the one my husband liked!

They delivered the bed and when they put it in I swear to you it was almost too high for our bed frame! There was no way he was gonna miss that! I thought it would be fun to see how long it would take him to "notice" the new bed. No question of that now, my youngest son was barely visible when he stood next to the bed! Well, apparently it was not the bed he wanted and he HATED this one too. So the next morning we called the place right when they opened to tell them we hated the bed. Too bad they said, you slept on it. I was like, we have had it for less then 10 hours and we paid $1400 for it! Too bad still they said. OUCH!!!!

So we tried it for a few more days then we made a nice empty spot for it in the garage so we could use our Sleep number bed again. A few attempt sell the bed on eBay failed miserably as did 2 garage sales attempts. Can you say LOCAL PICK UP ONLY? I lost count of how many times I emailed IDIOTS on eBay telling them NO I would NOT ship this HUGE freaking bed cross country! DUH!!! I even had one bright user who Bought it Now about 4 hours before the auction was to end, and I had several people bidding. She emailed me the next day. I accidentally pressed Buy it Now she said, I am sorry I did not mean to. Thanks lady, my bidders are LONG GONE, eBay has already collected their fees based on a $1200 sale!, and you accidentally clicked something! More like you did it on purpose and then told your husband who said no or something. She even tried to blame it on her kids! Good grief! Anyone who has used eBay knows you cant accidentally Buy it Now! You have to like triple confirm it etc. ARGH!!!

Then the bed came back to our room only this time the memory foam topper was placed down, next to the box springs so that the unfinished bottom was now what we slept against. Good thing we had a foam egg crate type topper! Oh yeah and since this thing was so high. . .18 inches to be exact, I had to buy special sheets to fit it. . .they cost $60!

Oh the pure JOY of cringing everytime I heard my husband complain about "the bed". I would just think, I am such an idiot, I will NEVER surprise him ever ever ever again! Each comment was a reminder of how stupid of me it was to buy the bed and try to surprise him. There were so many times I wanted to take up smoking (which I HATE) just to "fall asleep" on the bed. . .

This afternoon we borrowed our neighbors van because the church is using ours for the youth mission trip which is okay considering our oldest dd is there too. So we figured we would just slip the king size mattress on top of the seats and drive home. We called several places in between looking at several places and Big Lots had 3 promising ones and all 3 area Big Lots that I called told me their return policy on mattresses was 30 days with receipt! Great! No lemons this time! So we drive way out to Kansas from Missouri (okay it was like 20 miles. . .) in the swealtering heat ( it was over 100 today!). We look at the mattresses and showthe guy the one we want to buy. He was like okay, lets ring it up! I mentioned something about the 30 day return policy and he says, "What! Not on mattresses! No returns!" Of course I am ticked now, cause 20 minutes ago someone from THIS STORE ( as well as 2 others) told me there was a 3o day return policy. He tries to argue with me then he says let me get the manager. I had to walk away I was so mad! My husband dealt with it and he told the manager that he needed to get his policies straight and not mislead costomers like that. He ended up giving us the 30 day policy even though apparantly they have NEVER had one at all. hmmm?! So we told him, look if you want us to keep it in the plastic we will. Great he says! So off to the full size van to slip the mattress in. . .

Yeah, about that! Well apparently that thing did not want to be slipped in! We had to bend, push, pull, poke, prod, squeeze, man handle, and SHOVE the stupid thing in there! AND we had to unhook the seats and move them forward some! After getting the back doors closed ( amazingly! ). We went home and moved the old expensive surprise upside down reminder of what an idiot you are bed back to the garage so we could put the new 30 day return with reciept just for us please be comfortable so we can forget "THE BED" mattress in place! As we tried to extricate said new mattress from the van on of the handles ripped off! (good thing it has a 30 day return policy AND a 10 year warranty!) ARGH!!!! We finally managed to get the thing out of the van and get it up the stairs and on the bed with our killing anyone! WHOOT!

So, now as I write this the naked new bed is staring at me waiting to have fresh sheets put on it. Lets just hope this thing is comfortable, cause I am DONE buying new mattresses for the rest of my lifetime! I will be sure to let you know if 1) more idiots want me to ship the old mattress to Alaska 2) we actually make any money from it at ALL 3) We decide to burn it or Freecycle it. . .anyone want to roast some marshmallows????

Marriage

Well I guess since I am listening to Family Life Today from last week where they are talking about understanding your husband I will talk about marriage today.

I have been in a rut I guess in my marriage. We both know things need to be better, but neither one of us wants to do the WORK to get there. There are plenty of things we know we are doing "wrong", the biggest one being not praying together on any kind of regular basis. I know this make a difference but I dont push for it. Another area that we are lacking is in our communication. We have too many breakdowns in our communication where he hears something different then I said and vice versa. Part of that is because we have different Love Languages. I am acts of service and he is words of affirmation. There are SO many times when I wish we would have a translator available when we have a conversation.

Right now one of the MANY books I am reading is Motivating Your Man God's Way and it talks about Unconditional Respect for you husband and I have to admit it is SO hard for me to have unconditional respect first and second to understand how much he NEEDS it from me. When I am not getting loved in the way I want I dont feel like doing what I know I should do as far as taking care of him the way I know he needs. One of the things that I need is to feel cherished and I do not always feel that from Ralph. I feel like an after thought more often then a desireable woman. I will freely admit that is is hard for me to give unconditonal respect and love to my husband when I do not feel like he cares for me.

My thoughts, like my life, are jumbled and chaotic right now. . .got so much on my mind and I am not physically able to do much at all. today it was a migraine. But I did manage to go to Curves and when I got home I cleaned out our van because the pastor is using it for the youth missions trip to Minneapolis this friday. He came this morning and got the oil changed for it.

I asked my kids to help out by doing the 2 chores they each have assigned. . .they did not. While I took a nap they played and made a big mess. So when I get up and try to start dinner I have a mess to work around. ARGH. Frustrating. I want to be able to do my room and keep up with the laundry. Their dad told them (the boys) to clean their room today. Well at around 5:30 when I got up they started when I reminded them to. Now my hallway is a mess with all the stuff they threw there. . .

Curves

Went to Curves this morning. . .now off to take my father in law to doctor! It is gonna be HOT HOT HOT here today, heat index upwards of 115 but possibly 125!!!! We are staying in after the doctors appointment!

waiting for the kids to go to sleep. . .so I can wake up my husband.

Our oldest dd is mortified that we actually have sex! She even asked us if we could stop doing "it" until she left the house, to which we replied, "Sure, you leaving now. . .?" No really we did'nt and we did'nt even laugh out loud ( in front of her) we just calmly explained that it was normal for her to be grossed out by the thought of us having sex. . .heck I am still grossed out at the thought of my parents having sex! That is normal, God does not want you thinking about other people having sex, He wants you to actually have it. . .with your spouse. Not your sig other, not your partner, not your boyfriend or girlfriend, your lawfully wedded husband or wife. I know not everyone agrees with me about that and your entitled to think what you want.

So anyway we are trying really hard to be sensitive to her needs. . .but it ain't easy! Heck it ain't easy just trying to have sex with 5 kids in the house. . .esp in summer when they think they can stay up all night! We started locking our door years ago once our youngest was about 3 and did not need us in the night. They all know they can knock if they need anything. Our dd tried to make a deal with us, she said would you at least come make sure I am asleep before you do anything?

Yeah right, like thats gonna work!

(me queitly going into her room to see if she is asleep then hitting my foot on any number of things on her floor)

"What are you doing in here, mom?"

"Nothing just seeing if you were asleep"

"EWWWWWW, Gross! Your a sicko!"

OH, yeah that is a great way to get in the mood!!!!! NOT!!!

Well, I do not care if she is asleep or not, the door is locked and I am in the mood!!!

roasted marshmallows. . . .

mmmmmmmmmmmm we just roasted marshmallows on a stick using a can of Sterno on the kitchen counter. . . .mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I burned mine. . . mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Time to myself. . .

I almost forgot what that felt like, time to myself! My husband took the kiddos to the pool for "night swim" tonight and I opted to stay home since I am having some pain from my cyst. Why is it when I actually get time to myself, I spend the majority of it trying to figure out WHAT I should do with it?

I started trying to figure out how to make a DVD copy from our video camera. . .could not figure that out so I watched a bit of Project Runway, because the tv was already on. Then I decided I better take a shower. . .since I have been trying to do that all day! I went to Curves this morning with my daughter and came home and got busy doing chores that have piled up while I was feeling bad. Then I worked a bit on the PTA newsletter. . .and a LOT on looking at other peoples blogs. I like the next blog button, I am hooked!

Besides the fact that I stink from going to the gym, I also wanted to look presentable to my husband when he came home. I think it is important to at least try to look good for him when he comes in after a long day in the trenches. (Of course there is only so much I can do with this fat sloppy body. . .but I try). My motivation for going Curves, besides being able to play softball again with out dropping dead, is to be sexy for my husband again. I dont have a specific weight I want to get to. . .just not enough to be 2 people, which is where I am now. It is a great thing that I am tall! I have everyone fooled, oh, not that I am fat. . .that is obvious! But everytime I go to the doctors office and there is a new nurse or something (one that does not look at my previous weight. . .DUH!) they start out at 150! Yeah RIGHT! I wish! So I keep pointing toward the right to indicate, nope it is more so they move it to 200. . .this goes on way too long for my taste! And the nurse is always surprised at how fat I actually am.

Now dont get me wrong. . . I am NOT saying you cant be fat and sexy. . .but it is harder considering the clothes that they make for fat people are BUTT UGLY ( most of the time) or way way over priced! And forget finding sexy lingere! It practically does not exsist! It is harder to find then big womans maternity clothes. Because apparently we are too fat to have sex or babies! This is something that really ticks me off! Big woman want to look good too!

Spark People

Get a Free Online Diet

Great place to track your eating and work outs!

Turning Tricks with Lynx6

Turning Tricks with Lynx6: "MiniM: 'Dianne, you eat like a bird!'

Lynx6: 'No I don't. Normally I can eat tons. You know those baskets of bottomless fries at Red Robins?'

MiniM: 'Yeah.'

Lynx6: *whispers* 'I found the bottom...'

THAT so SO FUNNY!!!!!!!! Good for a monday morning laugh!

:o"

Bush uses colorful language

So what the president said SHIT! Who cares? Must be a slow news day.

That's what you should name your blog. . .

So I am talking to my husband about the crap the kids are doing and he acts surprised and I say "Welcome to my world" like I often do in situations like this. And get this, he says that is what you should name you blog. . .

This is SO FUNNY! I stumbled across this and laughed so hard. . . Death by Spatula

Drinking problem. . .

Well this morning I was scheduled to have (another!) sonogram. . .and NO, I am NOT PREGNANT! That would be a miracle given the fact that my dh had his you know what snipped after baby number 5! No I am having female "issues" and had another sono scheduled. But of course before I could go to the sono I had to drink a GUT load full of H20! I also had to drive my oldest dd to her job where she is making money for her mission trip this summer. Her job is about 25 minutes away and she had to be there at 8 am. So we left early. Oh, yeah I also had a dr appointment after the sono so I had to be fasting too!

I dont know about you, but for me it is hard to drink 32 ounces of water in less then an hour. . .when I am not doing anything but driving! If I were out in the heat or at Curves or eating. . .maybe, but just sitting, no way! So I HAD to drink because the last time I had a sono at the same place I did not drink enough. . .and the tech was not too happy so she made me drink a huge cup of lukewarm, doctors office tap water! GROSS! I was NOT doing that again! So my goal was 2 16.somthing ounce bottles of ice cold bottled water before my appointment. So I played a drinking game. . . .I made myself start drinking at every exit ramp and not stop until I hit the on ramp. This worked great! I downed those bottles of water like I was in a desert or something. Of course that coupled with the fact that I had not eaten anything yet, made me nauseous. . .yippee!

So I get to the sono and do all that fun stuff and when the tech asked me to empty my bladder so she can do the vaginal sonogram (oh what FUN!) I asked for a cup so that I could have a sample for the doctor cause I knew he needed one. She informs me that they don't have them because they don't do labs. Great, now I just hope I will be able to pee in that stupid cup in like 20 minutes after I empty my bladder. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. The tech told me she thought it would be no problem because she could tell I still had water on its way to my bladder. . .

Okay so done with the sono and on to the next set of people who want to poke and prod my nether regions. . .As I drive the 1 and 1/2 miles to the drs office I see a strange site on the side of the road, and not sure whether it is the lack of food and excessive amounts of water I shake my head a bit. Yes, I really do see her! It is Wendy! Or a petite young woman in a red wig and a blue gingham dress who LOOKS LIKE Wendy, holding a "We Serve Breakfast" sign. Weird!

First place I go when I get to the dr is the restroom so I can fill that cup. . .that water went straight through me! No, I mean literally it did. When I went to put the cap on the cup I was shocked! It looked exactly like it did going it. No kidding! I told the lab tech when I gave it to her, I swear I peed in that cup, really!

As I am waiting to have blood drawn, I notice a woman who is obviously about 9 months pregnant waiting as well. As I browsed through a magazine from 4 years ago I could see her trying to get comfortable in those wonderful drs office chairs. Just as she gets comfy and sits back they call her name. She manages to get up and waddles past me. About a minute later she walks past again, this time with a small bottle of the sickly sweet red drink she needs to down for her gestational diabetes test. Just the thought of it brought back memories of the many I had to do during my 5 pregnancies! EWWWW, makes me sick just thinking about it. Of course I am expecting this woman to slowly try to down her drink. Nope, no sooner had she sat down, she got up and said to the nurse. "All Done!" She even sounded like she enjoyed it! I am amazed at this womans capacity for such a disgusting thing. I mean I wanted to give her the high five or something!

More fun as I get pap, pelvic and breast exam! Yippee. As I leave the doctors office I pull into Wendy's and get some breakfast. It was not bad.

During this whole thing I have been fighting the feeling that I have had for the past 2 weeks. . .it goes something like this. . ."you know you want a Coke. Buy a Coke, ice cold you know you want it. . .come on, its been so long. . . blah blah blah". this is annoying because I had kicked the habit until we went on vacation to visit family. Okay driving 1100 miles to see family in a van with 5 kids, a kidney stone, menstrual cramps, a migraine, and being on a diet. I had no chance! So I caved. not too much, just a few while on vacation, mainly while driving and defiantly anytime I knew I was going to see my MIL! But then when I got back I was good, I started going to curves again and stopped getting any Coke. Until last night. . .I bought 2, one for last night and one for today. They were so good. . .so were the 2 I bought today. . .one is still calling me from the fridge. . .

Welcome to my (crazy) world!

Welcome to my (crazy) world!
I am new to this and am not sure what I am doing and how this will appear so this is a test message. . .

Is this thing on. . .

pst pst pst. . .is this thing on. . .pst pst pst. . .

More later. . .playing with my husband now. . .

We are playing City of Heros. . .

did that link work???